BIDEN: …what they’re talking about when they’re talking about the polls closing up. See, for those of you that don’t know, they do this fantastic polling work where they just call people up… at random… and ask them who they’re going to vote for. And then they take those polls and apply a very complicated equation to them that makes them more realistic, and then they release them to the public. And, I’ll admit, when I see the raw data from some of these polls it can look pretty scary, but by the time they’re done making them more realistic, folks, it looks pretty good for Barack Obama…
I don’t know what else to talk about after that epic debate last night. I guess we can plan for the next debate which will be between Paul Ryan and Joe Biden. Well, I don’t know if they really need my advice because it’s pretty obvious the Romney campaign as a good handle on debating, but still, here’s my two cents.
Basically, the strategy should be to let Biden talk. Now, the Obama campaign is going to give Biden a bunch of scripted things to say and train him best they can to not go off script, so Ryan will have to do all he can to get Biden to go off that script. For instance, after Biden has finished speaking, instead of Ryan responding, he should instead say to Biden, “Wow. You’re very smart. I’d like to hear more. Please go on.” Now Biden will be out of script, but encouraged by Ryan, he will think of his own things to say. And that will be awesome.
Also, Ryan needs to keep bring up Math! People respect Math! almost as much as Science!, so just beat him over the head with it. All Democrats are deathly afraid of Math! and what it will do to them and their spending.
And remember, Biden had been in the Senate for 36 years, so don’t underestimate what a completely useless person he is.
If done well, the debate should resemble a battle between a bunny rabbit and a thresher. Make us proud, Ryan.
They’re still hosing down the stage, washing all the blood off of it. I don’t know if you watched the debate last night, but it was horrific. For two hours, we watched a rich, privileged white man savagely beat and humiliate a black man as an audience of millions cheered on. It’s hard even to contemplate. Afterwards, the faces of the MSNBC anchors were covered in tears and snot as their words were barely understandable through through their weeping. “It was… a… a… tie,” Maddow muttered, barely audible. Chris Matthews just let out a loud cry reminiscent of Chewbacca in The Empire Strikes Back when the Hoth base closed the door on Han Solo. He had lost all feeling in his leg. And I can’t shake from my mind the image of Romney after the debate, completely covered in the blood of his vanquished foe such that the only thing on him that wasn’t crimson was his wide, crazed eyes and the white teeth from his hideous smile.
Who am I kidding… THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
I mean. Wow. What a catharsis. We’ve been waiting forever for someone to smack that little arrogant twerp Obama around. And who can we thank for that lovely massacre? The MSM, for keeping Obama so sheltered he had no idea how to defend his horrible record. That debate was like a hamster versus a blender. It was glorious.
And what’s next? Paul Ryan versus Joe “the middle class is buried!” Biden. This is almost mean now. I hope you love schadenfreude, because it is being served up in huge helpings.
Oh, Romney, I’m sorry I doubted you. You may have squishy principles, but your desire to be president is made of steel — steel you use to pound your enemies to goo.
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