DEBATE TONIGHT! Two men enter. One man leaves. And then the other man leaves. Or both at the same time if the door is big enough.
“Hello, black people. As you can tell, I’m black person like you. Hey hey hey, it’s Barack Obama.” -Obama from 2007 video
I loved Obama’s “black people pick out organic produce like this, while white people pick out organic produce like this” bit.
“Much like you, I enjoy listening to rap tunes.” -Obama from the 2007 video
“Joe, why do you make us hurt you?” -Biden’s handlers, most evenings
“What a fun name for an operation! Approved!” -Eric Holder after being presented with the details for Fast and Furious
My wife is planning to drag me to see one more Twilight movie. Will either of the candidates do something about that?
Debate rules are they can’t bring up the past four years as that isn’t Obama’s fault.
In a presidential debate with Bruce Banner, people often focus on trying to make him hulk out, but his weakness is actually economic issues.
Why would Romney need plans for job growth? He’ll be inheriting an awesome economy from Obama!
Romney can use that “inheriting an awesome economy” zinger if he wants. $50,000.
Maybe they’ll both be really good in the debate and we’ll be like, “They’re both awesome! They should be co-presidents!”
Romney: Remember to follow up every zinger with a loud, “BURN!!!”
Actually, I guess nowadays “Bazinga!” is the popular follow up to a zinger. If Romney does that, total win.
I don’t think it’s appropriate that the moderator Jim Lehrer has a slash-fiction book coming out about the two candidates.
Obama’s best strategy in the debate will be to convince low information voters that Romney was president the past four years.
AIEEE!! IT’S THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE!!! THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!
Uh oh. This is about domestic issues. The economy might come up; that’s bad for Obama. Hopefully he can make it two hours of birth control.
Jim Lehrer looks dead inside. I guess that’s just HD.
Predicted first Romney zinger: “Your wife is ugly.”
Already detected eight racist code words from Romney. Haven’t deciphered what they mean, yet.
Lehrer’s going to try to make it a debate. They’re going to try to make it short speeches while standing near each other.
Obama should not invoke the name of Math. Math does not like him.
Why does Big Bird need public funding? He’s on ever single baby item I buy. How much royalties does he get?
Obama: “I think this is a great example: Uh… eh…”
Romney: “I also just don’t like the name of it: Obamacare. Sounds foreign.”
If it’s not bought and paid for before a pre-existing condition is known, it’s no longer insurance.
I hate to say it, but Obama is clearly winning this debate. That’s the white dude, right?
Come on, Obama. Just apologize for the last four years.
After this debate, I just can’t imagine Obama as president. Reelect Romney.
Let’s throw more teachers at the dumb kids until they is not dumb no more.
Jim Lehrer pronounces his name wrong.
If Maddow says she didn’t know who won, then Romney massacred Obama.
We made fun of Obama’s flacks for lowering expectations, but it ends up that was one of the few times they were being truthful.
Romney: “The zinger was… I had no zingers.”
Obama was obviously too distracted thinking about how much he loves his wife.
I guess now we’ll get definitive proof of whether debates matter.
That was disgusting. We watched a rich, privileged white man publicly humiliate a black man for American entertainment.
Going to be really hard for Ryan to top that. I even expect Biden to have a better debate performance than what we saw from Obama.