FINALLY! An Honest Obama Supporter

[High Praise! to Gotta Get Drunk First (NSFW)]

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Highlights from Last Night’s Debate

Harvey already put up a video of the whole debate, but if you don’t have time for it, here’s a nice set of highlights from it:


Allz [High Praise!] suggests this highlight reel from those kookie Taiwanese animators, who (seriously) do an amazingly accurate job of covering the important takeaways from the debate:

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Obama’s debate podium…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Obama’s “Eye Candy” Comment Clarified

[High Praise! to After Math]

[Original here]

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Link of the Day: Joe Biden – He Just Aren’t Bright

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

I am Joe: Thoughts of a Special VP – Sasha

What Son of Bob does for Joe’s public appearances, Lactose the Intolerant does for Joe’s private moments.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Full Video: Obama Romney First Presidential Debate

Just in case you missed it live, here it is:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #33,636)

If you have any favorite moments, you may, as a courtesy to others, note the time in the comments.

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Polling Data

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …what they’re talking about when they’re talking about the polls closing up. See, for those of you that don’t know, they do this fantastic polling work where they just call people up… at random… and ask them who they’re going to vote for. And then they take those polls and apply a very complicated equation to them that makes them more realistic, and then they release them to the public. And, I’ll admit, when I see the raw data from some of these polls it can look pretty scary, but by the time they’re done making them more realistic, folks, it looks pretty good for Barack Obama…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Advice for the Ryan Versus Biden Debate

I don’t know what else to talk about after that epic debate last night. I guess we can plan for the next debate which will be between Paul Ryan and Joe Biden. Well, I don’t know if they really need my advice because it’s pretty obvious the Romney campaign as a good handle on debating, but still, here’s my two cents.

Basically, the strategy should be to let Biden talk. Now, the Obama campaign is going to give Biden a bunch of scripted things to say and train him best they can to not go off script, so Ryan will have to do all he can to get Biden to go off that script. For instance, after Biden has finished speaking, instead of Ryan responding, he should instead say to Biden, “Wow. You’re very smart. I’d like to hear more. Please go on.” Now Biden will be out of script, but encouraged by Ryan, he will think of his own things to say. And that will be awesome.

Also, Ryan needs to keep bring up Math! People respect Math! almost as much as Science!, so just beat him over the head with it. All Democrats are deathly afraid of Math! and what it will do to them and their spending.

And remember, Biden had been in the Senate for 36 years, so don’t underestimate what a completely useless person he is.

If done well, the debate should resemble a battle between a bunny rabbit and a thresher. Make us proud, Ryan.

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This WILL Happen to Joe Biden Eventually

[High Praise! to I’m a Man! I’m 41!]

[ref 1,ref 2]

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Wisdom of the Day: Reactions to the Red Debate

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Straight Line of the Day: During the Debate, Off-Camera You Could Hear…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

During the debate, off-camera you could hear…

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Was Chris Matthews Actually Crying?

Maybe it was just sweat, but I swear his face looks wet.

Enjoy this moment. We’ve earned it.

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The Red Debate

They’re still hosing down the stage, washing all the blood off of it. I don’t know if you watched the debate last night, but it was horrific. For two hours, we watched a rich, privileged white man savagely beat and humiliate a black man as an audience of millions cheered on. It’s hard even to contemplate. Afterwards, the faces of the MSNBC anchors were covered in tears and snot as their words were barely understandable through through their weeping. “It was… a… a… tie,” Maddow muttered, barely audible. Chris Matthews just let out a loud cry reminiscent of Chewbacca in The Empire Strikes Back when the Hoth base closed the door on Han Solo. He had lost all feeling in his leg. And I can’t shake from my mind the image of Romney after the debate, completely covered in the blood of his vanquished foe such that the only thing on him that wasn’t crimson was his wide, crazed eyes and the white teeth from his hideous smile.

Who am I kidding… THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

I mean. Wow. What a catharsis. We’ve been waiting forever for someone to smack that little arrogant twerp Obama around. And who can we thank for that lovely massacre? The MSM, for keeping Obama so sheltered he had no idea how to defend his horrible record. That debate was like a hamster versus a blender. It was glorious.

And what’s next? Paul Ryan versus Joe “the middle class is buried!” Biden. This is almost mean now. I hope you love schadenfreude, because it is being served up in huge helpings.

Oh, Romney, I’m sorry I doubted you. You may have squishy principles, but your desire to be president is made of steel — steel you use to pound your enemies to goo.

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The Presidential Debate in One Picture

[High Praise! to Jimmy and Bob Owens]

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Random Thoughts: Thoughts from Before, During, and After the Red Debate

DEBATE TONIGHT! Two men enter. One man leaves. And then the other man leaves. Or both at the same time if the door is big enough.

“Hello, black people. As you can tell, I’m black person like you. Hey hey hey, it’s Barack Obama.” -Obama from 2007 video

I loved Obama’s “black people pick out organic produce like this, while white people pick out organic produce like this” bit.

“Much like you, I enjoy listening to rap tunes.” -Obama from the 2007 video

“Joe, why do you make us hurt you?” -Biden’s handlers, most evenings

“What a fun name for an operation! Approved!” -Eric Holder after being presented with the details for Fast and Furious

My wife is planning to drag me to see one more Twilight movie. Will either of the candidates do something about that?

Debate rules are they can’t bring up the past four years as that isn’t Obama’s fault.

In a presidential debate with Bruce Banner, people often focus on trying to make him hulk out, but his weakness is actually economic issues.

Why would Romney need plans for job growth? He’ll be inheriting an awesome economy from Obama!

Romney can use that “inheriting an awesome economy” zinger if he wants. $50,000.

Maybe they’ll both be really good in the debate and we’ll be like, “They’re both awesome! They should be co-presidents!”

Romney: Remember to follow up every zinger with a loud, “BURN!!!”

Actually, I guess nowadays “Bazinga!” is the popular follow up to a zinger. If Romney does that, total win.

I don’t think it’s appropriate that the moderator Jim Lehrer has a slash-fiction book coming out about the two candidates.

Obama’s best strategy in the debate will be to convince low information voters that Romney was president the past four years.


Uh oh. This is about domestic issues. The economy might come up; that’s bad for Obama. Hopefully he can make it two hours of birth control.

Jim Lehrer looks dead inside. I guess that’s just HD.

Predicted first Romney zinger: “Your wife is ugly.”

Already detected eight racist code words from Romney. Haven’t deciphered what they mean, yet.

Lehrer’s going to try to make it a debate. They’re going to try to make it short speeches while standing near each other.

Obama should not invoke the name of Math. Math does not like him.

Why does Big Bird need public funding? He’s on ever single baby item I buy. How much royalties does he get?

Obama: “I think this is a great example: Uh… eh…”

Romney: “I also just don’t like the name of it: Obamacare. Sounds foreign.”

If it’s not bought and paid for before a pre-existing condition is known, it’s no longer insurance.

I hate to say it, but Obama is clearly winning this debate. That’s the white dude, right?

Come on, Obama. Just apologize for the last four years.

After this debate, I just can’t imagine Obama as president. Reelect Romney.

Let’s throw more teachers at the dumb kids until they is not dumb no more.

Jim Lehrer pronounces his name wrong.

If Maddow says she didn’t know who won, then Romney massacred Obama.

We made fun of Obama’s flacks for lowering expectations, but it ends up that was one of the few times they were being truthful.

Romney: “The zinger was… I had no zingers.”

Obama was obviously too distracted thinking about how much he loves his wife.

I guess now we’ll get definitive proof of whether debates matter.

That was disgusting. We watched a rich, privileged white man publicly humiliate a black man for American entertainment.

Going to be really hard for Ryan to top that. I even expect Biden to have a better debate performance than what we saw from Obama.

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