How to Make the Million Muppet March Achieve Its Goals

Activists are planning a “Million Muppet March” in DC to protest Mitt Romney’s threat to de-fund Sesame Street.

Um… shouldn’t they take the money they’ll spend on airline tickets & donate it to PBS, instead?

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Global Warming Stopped!

A new report shows that global warming stopped 16 years ago.

How about that? Al Gore invented the internet AND a time machine.

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Defund PBS Because it Sponsors Torture

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Obama gave the weirdest answer during the debate…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Link of the Day: This Is Why Joe Biden Doesn’t Like Being VP Anymore

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

I am Joe: Thoughts of a Special VP – Cookies

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Supporting African-Americans

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …the other day when we were out campaigning in Mississippi, I met a man named Leeroy Jenkins… a wonderful African-American gentleman, who had been a slave back in the 1800’s. What a great guy. And, he said to me, he said, “Joe, these young kids today don’t realize what it was like… they don’t realize what slavery was like back then.” He said, “We didn’t have iPhones and iPods, whatever you call ’em… we didn’t have them back then. They didn’t buy us Nike sneakers and flat screen TVs and things like that. No, in the cabin I lived in we had one little black-and-white TV for all 12 of us… the screen couldn’t have been more than 10 or 11 inches wide. And we all had to huddle around that screen, and every week we’d have to wait for The Cosby Show or The Jeffersons, one of the few African-American programs on TV back then, ’cause there weren’t many African-Americans allowed on TV in the 1800’s.” He said, “Those Republicans wanna take us back to those days and put us back in that cabin with that 11-inch TV. But, you and Barack… you guys have given us so much more. Thanks to you and Barack we have programs where you provide us cell phones and flat screens and Nikes. You guys take so much better care of us today…”

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Wisdom of the Day: Fundraising Protected Springsteen Depressed Gitmo Universe

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This Makes Me VERY Angry!

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Specifically, I’m angered by the “Display Only” sign.

In a just world, these would be right next to the gumball machines at the entrance to every grocery store.

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Government Subsidized Poverty

Another sign of how great things are going: Welfare spending has increased 32% under Obama. But, to be fair, part of that increase is because they now include in that figure the Vice President’s salary.

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Straight Line of the Day: Polls Show Obama Losing Another Demographic…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Polls show Obama losing another demographic…

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12 Signs Obama Doesn’t Think Much of America or Its Problems

So Obama went on the Daily Show and said that four people getting killed in Benghazi that it’s “not optimal.” Who knew that by going on Comedy Central Obama might say something that wouldn’t elevate the office of the president? He really should stick to hard news programs like The View.

This is just more evidence, though, that Obama doesn’t think particularly much of America and its problems. A former Clinton aide recently said that Obama doesn’t even seem to like people, and I have noticed much through the years that shows Obama is kind of aloof.

SIGNS OBAMA DOESN’T THINK MUCH OF AMERICA OR ITS PROBLEMS

* Sent out food stamps with the note, “Here, now stuff your fat faces and waddle over to the voting booth on November 6th.”

* When he found out a supporter he met was from Vermont, he said, “Why are you wasting my time? That’s a blue state I’ll win easily no matter what.” and then punched him in the nads.

* Talked to military commanders recently about if there was a way to increase casualties in the Middle East so there would be less military people to vote against him.

* He’s writing his next memoir exclusively for the European markets as a tell-all about America.

* Promised a women’s group that there would be a man at every polling station to help the women vote if they got confused or scared or hormonal.

* He once tried to order drone strikes to clear up a D.C. traffic jam.

* Google searches reveal he was trying to see what’s the required eligibility to run for president of Indonesia.

* He told a group of unemployed blue collar workers, “I guess I can’t help bring back factory jobs, but frankly I’d kill myself before working in one of them. And killing yourselves would also bring down unemployment…”

* He refers to hot dogs, hamburgers, and apple pie as “weird ethnic food.”

* When a woman complained to him of high gas prices, he gave her a handful of birth control pills, patted her on the head, and told her, “It will be all right.”

* He keeps trying to raise the minimal donation amount before anyone can shake his hand or touch him in any manner.

* He honestly thinks he’s doing a good job as president.

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Random Thoughts: Gallup Takes a Swing at Obama

Obama has canceled all campaign stops today out of fear of Tagg Romney.

A +7 lead for Romney seems like a lot, but remember that Obama was president the past four years and everyone knows that.

Hopefully Tagg’s blood lust will be satisfied as that poll was even better than a punch to the face.

Obama: “If Romney has his way, we’ll all end up in his binders of qualified applicants he’s looking at for a job.”

What is everyone freaking out about? Obama said four dead is NOT optimal. He didn’t say it IS optimal.

Maybe the request for more security at Benghazi came in a binder and thus Obama wanted nothing to do with it.

Romney is +4 in Pennsylvania? So what do we want to talk about next now that the election is over?

Having installed a number of blinds in my day, I can not rave enough about http://Blinds.com . Perfect fits and not expensive.

How do you get to be the president’s comedy writer? I want that job.

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I Agree With Michelle Obama

During a speech in Virginia, Michelle Obama said “cutting Sesame Street is no way to balance the budget.”

She’s right. You need to cut a thousand other useless government programs, too.

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Hey “blue states” — hurry up and pass the NPVIC before November 6!

Remember all the talk about the NPVIC? You know, the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact?

Sure you do. A bunch of dumbass states have signed on to this thing.

Here’s what it does: in the states that sign on, whoever wins the popular vote nationally, wins all the electoral votes in the participating states, regardless of how that state voted.

The idea is to make the Electoral College meaningless.

Why are they doing this? They’re still all pissed off over the 2000 election. Gore seems to have won the popular vote, although Bush won the majority of electoral votes. And they’ve had their panties in a wad ever since.

The Compact has been signed on by eight states and DC. Here’s a list of those states and their electoral votes:

  • California (55)
  • Hawaii (4)
  • Illinois (20)
  • Maryland (10)
  • Massachusetts (11)
  • New Jersey (14)
  • Vermont (3)
  • Washington (12)
  • District of Columbia (3)

What do you notice about those states? Yep. That’s right. They’re all “blue states.”

Oh, and the bill is currently pending in New York (29) and Pennsylvania (20).

Now, here’s where it gets kinda interesting.

According to the latest Gallup poll, Romney is leading by 7 points nationally. According to the Real Clear Politics average, Romney is leading by a point. Either way, Romney wins the popular vote.

Now, according to the Real Clear Politics electoral map, currently Romney has the lead in electoral votes (excluding toss-ups), and, under the current system, leads 206-201.

If toss-ups stay where they are, Obama has enough electoral votes to win the election under the current system, 294-244.

But — and here’s the fun part — if the states that are part of the Compact were to go ahead and follow it now, Romney wins in a landslide, 376-162:

Oh, and if the two states where the bill is pending were to play along anyway, Romney wins by a larger margin, 425-113.

Told you that was the fun part.

There’s a lesson to be learned from this: liberals don’t think things through.

They joined in on this idea after the 2000 election because they can’t imagine that their silly candidate could actually lose the election. They didn’t like the rules under which Bush won, so they want to change the rules.

But, they didn’t see this coming.

Oh, and there are lots of other problems with the NPVIC, not the least of which is that many states don’t even count absentee ballots if there aren’t enough to change the outcome within the state. For instance, Gore’s popular vote lead in 2000 would shrink if the absentees in New York state had been counted. They weren’t, since there weren’t enough to sway the election in the state. And, since many absentees were military, they’d have swung for Bush.

Remember that whole mess in 2000 where those idiot Florida counties were trying to figure out what a hole in a piece of paper looked like? Remember Minnesota in 2008 stretching into Summer 2009? Look for that all over.

But, Democrats, and liberals in particular, don’t think about stuff like that. It complicates their neat little imaginary lives.

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