Weave Your Bacon!

[High Praise! to HokieGomer]

Step by step instructions for how to weave a mat of bacon, like this:

And what can you do with a mat of bacon?

Why, wrap it around stuff:

and cook it, of course!:

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Bread and Circuses (Minus the Circuses) – Obama Style

[High Praise! to Jimmy and American Digest]

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “A just-released White House email…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Is This Any Way to Run a Workshop?

Schools in Minnesota closed for a two-day conference that included a workshop on how to teach about Islam.

Wonder if it featured the phrase “duck and cover”?

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The Obama Guide to Etiquette

[High Praise! to RAML and Deviant Art]

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Link of the Day: Maybe China’s Just Better At Capitalism

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

Are the Chinese Really Cheaters?

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Hipsters Agenda Mash Gmail

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Fixing Unemployment

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …and so often I hear people out there saying that Barack and I are gonna put people out of work. And, let me let you in on a little secret. I’ll tell you a little secret. We are! We plan to put two to three million people out of work in our next term! And that’s just good for the economy. And you won’t hear these types of common sense ideas coming from Republicans. You won’t, folks. But, in order for us to get unemployment numbers down, we have to create more unemployment, then allow those unemployed to age out of the unemployment program, which lowers the unemployment numbers. At the same time, we use regulations to put some of these big, successful companies run by the 1 percent out of business, which creates opportunities for people to start small businesses to replace them, and folks, those new businesses are going to need employees, which creates new jobs. Like I said, it’s just common sense. But, these guys on the other side aren’t smart enough to understand. Folks, I’ve been in politics my whole life. If anyone understands how to run a business, I do…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Financially Illiterate

So an angry former Biden staffer wrote a tell-all that mentions that both Biden and Obama are “financially illiterate” — if the whole “let’s raise taxes to create jobs” didn’t clue you in. It would be interesting to see more of those internal sessions in the White House where they plan out their financial ideas, though I assume that just resembles a toddler trying for an hour to shove a square peg in round hole.

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Looking Up to Obama?

Former Obama Green Jobs Czar Van Jones said that on foreign policy, “President Obama is a towering figure.”

Oh… sorta like that statue of Saddam Hussein they pulled down in Baghdad?

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The Obama Administration and Their Weird Video Obsession

So apparently Hillary told the Father of a Navy SEAL killed in Benghazi that “We will make sure that the person who made that film is arrested and prosecuted.” Wow.

Let’s just look at the levels of awful on this.

1. Islamic radicals go on murderous spree, and the reaction is, “Let’s go after who made them angry.”

2. The Obama government thinks you’re able to prosecute people for free speech.

3. They should have known by this time the attack had nothing to do with the video, meaning Hilary was either stupid or dishonest.

So three levels of awful, right? Or did I miss a level?

Man, do we need to get rid of these jokers.

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Straight Line of the Day: The Worst Part About Being Obama’s Limo Driver…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The worst part about being Obama’s limo driver…

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Raise a Daughter Who Won’t Give It Up for Democrats

I have a daughter, so the Democrats horrible attitude towards women is especially concerning. We’ve already see their “vote as if your lady parts depend on it” campaign where they’ve reduced women to sex objects who want nothing more than birth control and abortion to enable their promiscuity. And now we have this from the Obama campaign:

So voting for Obama is like giving away your virginity. Yay.

I guess if your first time was with Obama in 2008, you can look at Romney as the penicillin you now desperately need.

Anyway, I’ve read a book on raising a daughter as I’m trying to take this whole “being a father” thing seriously, and one point in it is you need your daughter to have a high self-esteem as then she’s much less likely to have sex early or get pregnant in her teens. It also stands to reason that, as a father, if you help your daughter feel loved and like a valuable person, she’ll more easily recognize how little the Democrats think of her.

So, fathers, if you don’t want women voting for this nonsense in the future, it’s up to you.

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Top of the charts

Bush, Bush bo Bush, banana fanna fo Bush
Fee fi mo Bush, Bush!

Come on everybody!
I say now let’s play a game
I betcha I can make a blame out of anybody’s name.
The first four years, I treat it like it was not there
But a lot of silly reasons and excuses will appear
And then I say “No I wasn’t to blame,” and banana fanna blame a foe
And then I say that name and I make it very plain
And a fee fie on a foe
And then I say the name again and now you know my game
And there isn’t any name that I can’t blame

Clinton, Clinton bo Clinton, banana fanna fo Clinton
Fee fi mo Clinton, Clinton!

But if the first two years are ever brought up,
I drop my voice and say the name like
Bush, he killed the economy,
Clinton, she let the Ambassador die,
Osama, I killed him with my bare hands.
The media ignores anything that is contrary.

Everybody do Bush!

Bush, Bush, bo Bush, banana fanna fo Bush
Fee fi mo Bush, Bush!

Pretty good, let’s do the rich!

Rich, rich, bo rich, banana fanna fo rich
Fee fi mo rich, rich!

Very good, let’s do Wall Street!

Wall Street, Wall Street, bo Wall Street, banana fanna fo Wall Street
Fee fi mo Wall Street, Wall Street!

A little trick with YouTube!

YouTube, YouTube, bo YouTube, banana fanna fo YouTube
Fee fi mo YouTube, YouTube!

The blame game…

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Random Thoughts: Abortion and Questions

9 out of 10 Down syndrome children are aborted. Is that optimal? Or should the goal be a hundred percent?

If the genetic tests eventually allow us to determine whether an unborn child might be gay, do you think we’ll still have gay people?

With more genetic information on an unborn child plus abortion on demand, we’re basically on an unstoppable path to eugenics, aren’t we?

Being legally able to rip apart an unborn child raises lots of moral conundrums (surprising!) but those get less media focus.

One of the most common and damaging misconceptions people have is that if you’re moving forward, that means you’re moving towards something.

So now Obama is claiming Mourdock doesn’t think rape is rape? What a dishonest scumbag.

If the NYT’s endorsement of Obama is anything more than the phrase “He’s the Democrat,” they’re just wasting everybody’s time.

Colin Powell needs to man up and just admit he made a stupid mistake 2008.

So what exactly do they do in Ohio other than decide who is president every four years?

I get Nate Silver’s electoral vote argument, but why does he seem so certain Obama is going to win popular vote when polls say otherwise?

In a lot of the polls, Obama seems to be stuck at 47%. I wonder why 47%…

So what’s the opposite of feminism? Teaching women to be self-reliant?

So is Lena Dunham’s point that the last four years was one big STD?

If you don’t help raise you daughters to have self-esteem, they won’t realize how little the Democrats think of them.

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