How Many Times Did Obama Say “Uh” During the First Debate? No, Guess Again – Higher

[High Praise! to Patriot Post]

236

And yes, you can spend 5 minutes watching every single one of them in this video if you want.

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The Definitive Reason Why Romney Isn’t Bush

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Romney has intelligent, qualified women. What’s in Obama’s binder?

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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FINALLY! A Good Use for Hippie Music – a Battlestar Galactica Parody


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #203,237)

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I Heard Paul Ryan Will Be Starring In the Fourth Movie

[High Praise! to Stupid Is a Five Letter Word]

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Link of the Day: Obama Is the New N’Sync

[High Praise! to Monster Hunter Nation]

See, I told you so time.

Excerpt:

What we are seeing currently is what happens to all boy bands. Eventually enough people realize that they lack talent and they actually kind of suck. The media will still push them, but then the cracks will start to show. More and more people will see past the glossy media hullabaloo to discover that the boy band is just meh. Then it is inevitable. Once it becomes cool to hate the boy band, their career is over, and they will fade away into obscurity.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Obama Will Help

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …and I want to take a moment here to speak directly to the folks who were in the path of this devastating hurricane… Hurricane Sandy. I want to speak directly to all of you who are sitting in your homes right now, without power or any other utilities, listening on the Internet. Barack is working with state and local authorities to help you. Just keep watching your local television stations and go to our website, and they’ll keep you updated as to when you can expect to get your power back working again…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Wisdom of the Day: Moon Christie Burns Hack

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This Is How Joe Biden Reports in from the Campaign Trail

[High Praise! to Laughing Conservative]

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A Week Until Election Day!

It’s just one week until Election Day. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ll probably vote for Mitt Romney. What about you? Who are you voting for? Please give your reasons.

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Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Item in Obama’s 20-page Second Term Plan…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The weirdest item in Obama’s 20-page second term plan…

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I’m in Charge Now

The massive storm Sandy has hit the east coast. So far, no word from there. It’s possible then it’s been completely wiped out. That would mean Idaho is now in charge of America and I’m probably acting president. I’ve anticipated this happening and already have a kill list ready. Here it is so far:

MY KILL LIST
* Foreginers
* Hippies
* The inventor of clamshell packaging

Anyway, I would just like to instruct the citizens of this great nation to remain calm. I am in charge now. And I have declared martial law. Anyone who now whines will be packed into a crate and shipped to Canada or Mexico — whichever has less shipping costs. As a measure to get spending under control, California has been kicked out of the nation and a border fence will now be constructed around it. Also, taxation is being suspended; the government doesn’t need more money until we use up all the bombs we have.

So don’t worry, America; we will continue into a bright, east coast-less future. And if we have any problems, don’t bother we with them. I’m the president; I’m in charge of the government and don’t care about your silly, individual problems. Wake me if another country is invading.

That is all.

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Job training

Sunday night, the president flew to Florida for a Monday campaign appearance. Then, he flew back to Washington and Bill Clinton took his place at the campaign event.

The question that some asked was why would Obama make the trip to Florida in the first place. Well, lost in the story is the fact that he did appear at a campaign office:

Yesterday, as he delivered pizzas to campaign workers in Orlando, Florida, Obama said he realized that the storm would impede his ability to make the final push for a second term in person.

See? He delivered pizzas.

That skill could come in real handy come January 21st.

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Random Thoughts: Statistical Models

I lived through three hurricanes while in Florida. Went days without electricity or potable water. It was fun.

I don’t know about the possibility of Minnesota going red. Hard to be more Democrat than being the only state against reelecting Reagan.

Remember when people were really excited when Reagan was elected and then even more excited to reelect him? That’s not at all like Obama.

The NYT has endorsed every Dem since 1956 so that one day when they do endorse a Republican, everyone is going to really pay attention.

Polls show close race, but if somehow Romney wins next Tuesday and the GOP takes the Senate, that would be hilarious.

When trying to hide from the hurricane, remember that they can’t see through lead.

I don’t know why everything has to be a partisan issue. Why can’t everyone of all political persuasions come together and hate Democrats.

My biggest fear about hurricanes is with all those strong winds coming off the ocean you could get airborne pirates.

Burning fossil fuels is causing global blowing.

Poor Nate Silver. He must be burning incense to Numberthor, god of numbers, to protect him.

Anyone figure the percent chance Nate Silver will come out of this looking like a genius versus looking like an idiot?

If Nate Silver comes out of this a laughing stock, he’ll have completed a great origin story to becoming the Batman villain The Statistician.

“What! How did you stop me, Batman?! By my calculations, there was only a 23.7% chance of that happening!”

“You’ll never get away with this, Statistician!”
“Ha! There was an 88.3% chance of you saying that!”

Never miss an opportunity to go yell at a storm.

Because everyone is being mean to Nate Silver, I’m not going to tell you what my mathematical model is predicting until after the election.

Hard to trust the math abilities of someone who isn’t absolutely horrified of Obama’s spending.

I’m not saying Mitt Romney is Batman, but it’s hard to believe he doesn’t dress up in a costume at night and punch poor people.

Maybe NYT should just put an “for entertainment purposes only” warning over Nate Silver’s blog. Or on their whole paper.

I tried to put together a statistical model, but it ends up I accidentally bought the kit for an X-Wing.

Everyone on the east coast stay safe unless you’re a pedophile.

Obama has released a statement about how things are being blow around and flooded on the east coast in reaction to a YouTube video.

Good tweet for Nate Silver on Nov. 7th: “What happened was a possible outcome according to my model.”

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The One-Picture-Truth About Socialists

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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