It All Hinges on Ohio for Some Reason

So there’s lots of talk of Obama starting to triage. He’s pulling out of North Carolina and maybe Florida and Virginia are next. As usual it all comes down to Ohio. Basically, for either of them, if they have Ohio, they’ve basically won it because the other states they need are less likely to flip than Ohio. And Ohio is neck and neck. Why is Ohio always so important? I don’t even know where it is. Or what they do there. But the fate of the nation on whatever live in the state that’s name sounds like an awkward greeting. I guess I should consult Harvey and find out more about the state.

If it even really exists. Cleveland is in it? I always thought that was a made up place like Narnia. Something is fishy here…

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31 Comments

  1. Didn’t the Village People do a song about it?
    Oh
    Aich
    Eye
    Oh
    It’s fun to vote twice in…
    Oh
    Aich
    Eye
    Oh-oh

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  2. What do they do there? They caucus. I have no idea what that means, though.

    Lewis Carroll explains it in Alice in Wonderland. The characters are wet, so, in order to dry off, they run a caucus-race, which
    consists of running anywhere you want until you are dry. Everybody wins, so everybody gets a prize; evidently the characters in Alice
    in Wonderland now have jobs in the Obama administration.

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  3. Yeah, I’m in Ohio too. It’s always the big fli-flop state because it’s one of those places that people from all walks of life seem to end up, and generally not because they wanted to. So, it’s pretty much a disgruntled and confused population. Not really an ideal voting bloc for any party.

    The Democrats can’t trust left-leaning voters in Ohio, because every so often they walk into a voting booth and just want to say “up yours!” and vote Republican, just for the heck of it.

    And the Republicans can’t always trust those leaning to the right, because Ohio is so boring most of the time, they occaisionally will vote for a democrat just to see some chaos and make things a little exciting.

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  4. And they put cinnamon in the chili too Iowa Jim. It just ain’t right.

    They also dip peanut butter sandwiches in chili. Or sometimes even throw a lump of peanut butter into their bowl of chili.

    I think Ohio should lose its chili license.

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  5. Ohio is the land mass that keeps lake Superior from draining into the swamp.

    Ohio is the home of the Buckeyes. they wanted the whole buck, but those damn Badgers ate it.

    the occupant is competitive in Ohio because michele moore’s fatter cousin drew carey threatens to eat anyone who does bot worship that one.

    democants in ohio vote because their daddy, grand daddy, and great grand daddy were democants. Even though the same tree huggers that took their job are democants

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  6. Ohio used to be a swamp. Hardy self-reliant homely people came there to farm the swamp. They may not have been the smartest people in the world.

    After a few generations they had drained the swamp, so they all joined unions and stopped being self-reliant. Now Ohio is full of soft homely union people who are easily lied to. It makes it an ideal state for politicians.

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  7. 24 NASA Astronauts were born in Ohio. The place is apparently so scary it makes people want to flee the planet.

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  8. I think it all HINGES on Obama’s Mother and his childhood?

    What kind of a woman feeds Dogs to her son and cooks Snakes for dinner and then hires a Gay Transsexual Shemale/He-She (woman with a penis) for a baby sitter to watch her young son?

    If OHIO voters accept that then I think we should kick OHIO out of the USA or at least BOYCOTT any goods and services (or people) that come from OHIO, forever.

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  9. The first professional baseball team was in Ohio. The Cincinnati Red Stockings played in 1869 and 1870. Then, a bunch if others started up professional teams and talked owner Harry Wright into moving to Boston, with the team taking a variety of names over the years — Red Stockings, Red Socks, Red Caps, Beaneaters, Bees, Doves — before settling on Braves. The team stayed in Boston through 1952, then moved to Milwaukee. They moved to Atlanta in 1966. True story.

    What does it mean? Georgia is at least 3 states better than Ohio.

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  10. First let me say that I live in Ohio and I’m not sure it really exists either. Second it is ironic that the election is all hinged on so many that are lamentably, mentally and politically unhinged.

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  11. Ohio was the home of what is now the NFL, in Ohio the American Professional Football Association was founded in 1920 with five Ohio teams (one in Canton, Akron, Columbus, Cleveland, and Dayton). Portsmouth Ohio was also the first home of the Detroit Lions (then called the Spartans). Four of the first five champions of the league were Ohio teams. Now today, all we are left with is the Browns (not even the REAL Browns… who are now in Baltimore wearing purple and calling themselves the Ravens) and Paul Brown’s Bengals… we kind of got shafted somewhere in the past 90 years in pro football…. but we still have those Buckeyes!

    Now Ohio is also home of some great musicians… Dave Grohl from Foo Fighters/Nirvana, Matt Hammit from Sanctus Real, every member of Relient K, some members of Rascal Flatts, Devo, Eric Singer of KISS, Steven Adler of G’N’R.

    Ohio is also home of two of the most visited amusement parks in the world, Cedar Point and King’s Island.

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  12. Speaking as someone who actually lived in Cleveland for a summer (and, yes it was that awful), I can confirm that Ohio unfortunately does exist.

    As a lifelong Michigan fan, I can think of no worse fate than to have to live in Ohio permanently. Their fans aren’t called *uckeyes for no reason. Ohio cops are also the biggest dicks in the world and they will give you a ticket for doing just 5 mph over the speed limit. The whole state of Ohio sucks giant ******* **** and can go **** ****** in the *** with the ****** **** ** *****!!!

    And if they give they election to Obama, we should nuke the whole state from orbit just to be sure.

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  13. These are exactly the types of commments I would expect from coast hugging, chili hating, fly over elitists! Why you are almost as bad as those elitist politicians in Washington (both D.C. and the state of). Just remember, we have Cleveland! Every country has a city that they make fun about. In the U.S.A. we have Cleveland. In Russia they make fun of…Cleveland!

    Remember, it could be worse, you could be in Cleveland! or Detroit! or Brooklyn! or Portland (any of them), or Seattle (only 1 of them, thank God!) or Montpelier (any of the 221 of them).

    I think I have attacked most parts of the country and will now retire to my bunker…

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  14. After eating the awful Cincinnati chili and riding those enormous rollercoasters I don’t think I would be able to know how to vote either.

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  15. Ohio is the Belgium of the Midwest. They wear sweater vests and wish for topography. They also Channel desperation and envy into college football wins

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  16. Wow, all this Ohio-hatin’ sounds like Obama when he doesn’t get his way. Do I hear jealoussssyyyy? We’ve been pretty divided politically here for a long, long time. The stupid Democrats here were causing trouble even back in the Civil War. Honest Abe had to ship one of ’em off to the south for being such a jackhole. Clement Vallandigham–look it up. And they never stop. Howard Metzenbaum, Sherrod Brown, Martin Sheen, hell, even John Glenn, who will always be a hero despite his incredibly P!$$-poor voting record as a senator. I don’t know how we get these knuckleheads, but don’t blame me. On the other hand, we had Grant, Sherman, and Sheridan. That’s known as whoop-ass to southerners. Not to mention the Wright brothers and Neil Armstrong. Hell, even our women are awesome (Annie Oakley just ONE example). Yes, Buckeyes are nuts. But they’re mighty manly nuts, not those southern “pea” nuts. Buckeyes have been known to chew up and spit out whole herds of wolverines, badgers, hawkeyes, hoosiers, and lions of the Nittany persuasion. Just because the weather sucks here and our sports teams are cursed and a lot of serial killers are from here and we drink a lot because our weather sucks and our teams are cursed…

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  17. There’s no such place as Ohio. If there were, they’d have some form of professional sports team.

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  18. No Ernie…Ohio cops just give tickets to people from Michigan that are dumb enough to give them a reason. It’s mainly a way to try and keep people from Michigan out of Ohio.

    As bad as Ohio may be, Michigan is ten times worse. If someone doesn’t shank you in Detroit, or you don’t get eaten by Michigan’s favorite son, Michael Moore (a scUM alum), then the giant blood-sucking mosquitoes will finish the job.

    And you being from Michigan are one to talk about voting democrat. At least Ohio swings Republican most of the time. Meatchicken hasn’t voted for a Republican president since 1988. They actually wanted Al Gore as president. Ohio and Florida saved the nation in that one.

    Oh…and GO BUCKS!

    (Who’s primary color is red/scarlet. Michigan’s is blue…just sayin’)

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  19. I remember the cold war era comedian Yakov Smirnoff making some jokes about the first time he saw Cleveland, and then he said “Every country has a city they make fun of; In Russia….It’s Cleveland!!”

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