Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Item in Obama’s 20-page Second Term Plan…

Posted on October 30, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The weirdest item in Obama’s 20-page second term plan…

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64 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Item in Obama’s 20-page Second Term Plan…”

  1. Dohtimes says:

    …declaring a consolidation of power by eliminating title of Commander in Chief, now referred to as Mmander in Chief.

    …is his plan to make Snoop Dogg Secretary of Herbal Agriculture.

    …was his belief that redistribution of a man’s stash the one thing that could not be found in the Commerce Clause.

  2. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . is the assumption that he will have a second term as President.

  3. Marc says:

    It was just a list of golf courses he wanted to play during his second term and travel brochures of where Mooch and the kids will be taking their bi-monthly vacations.

  4. Dohtimes says:

    …is the twelve pages of the “word” ahhhh. Second weirdest is the seven pages of errrrrrrs. The rest them are pure Grade-A genius type plans though.

  5. rodney dill says:

    …101 ways for Americans to eat their peas.

  6. archangel says:

    …is the introduction, which ends with, “and so, there’s only 19 pages left of things we didn’t f*#k up in the first term, so let’s get crackin’!”

    …is the fact that all 20 “pages” are sticky notes with the words “executive privledge” written on them.

  7. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …is the fact it’s actually 1,000 pages long.

    …if you flip the pages, you see an animation of Joe Biden trying to tie his shoes and succeeding in tying them together.

  8. archangel says:

    the opening:

    We hold these opinions to be self-perpetuating, that all men are created equal, but some are more equal than others, that women belong in binders, that they are endowed by their Imagination with certain subjective opportunities, that among these are Eating, Drinking and the pursuit of Mediocrity.–That to frustrate them in pursuit of said opportunities, Governments are instituted among Men (and allowed to continue by Women), inventing their unjust powers by the willful apathy of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to try to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, upon which time we will smite them. Lack of Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes like disregarding the Constitution; But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, we will know we have accomplished that Grand Goal we have laid before ourselves–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Politicians; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government, and make remake it in their image. The history of the present Supreme Ruler is a history of repeated sympathetic speeches and needed usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. Drink up bitches!

  9. CarolyntheMommy says:

    ….. is still a secret because we have to re-elect Obama before he can show us what’s in it.

  10. 4of7 says:

    Bacon for archangel!

  11. seanmahair says:

    Plan there is no plan, just like there have been no budgets. The plan like budgets and cake is a lie.

  12. archangel says:

    @4of7:
    i’m not quite sure if you are offering me bacon from your own stash (which i would wholeheartedly appreciate) or if you are positing that the 20 page plan contains the framework for a federal bacon subsidy, for which i would be considered. that may be outlined under subsection C, “Ministry of Bacon”.

  13. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The weirdest item in Obama’s 20-page second term plan…” […]

  14. tomg51 says:

    is the burn after election watermark on every page

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