After the disappointing 2012 election, people keep talking about what the GOP will need to do to win in the future. I will also talk about that. Here are my ideas for the GOP to modernize itself and win more elections:
NEW IDEAS FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY
* Replace the ‘o’ in GOP with a zero so it’s more like l33t speak.
* Adopt that blase attitude about everything that’s so popular these days, so next election just run a few ads where the candidates sarcastically say, “Reelect me because I’m a loser who only cares about getting elected and stuff. Like whatever.”
* Start to sucking up to robots so GOP will get all the robot votes when one day robots are allowed to vote (the 30th Amendment). Use shotgun wielding cyborg Dick Cheney as an ambassador.
* Come up with a new dance craze, “GOP Style,” where you dance by miming riding an elephant.
* Calm fears about the new Star Wars movies by making coming up with another creature like Jar Jar Binks a crime punishable by severe fines and imprisonment.
* Take the current GOP logo, and add racing stripes.
* Instead of pandering to the races the Democrats are already working on, go after Orcs and Night Elves in World of Warcraft.
* Make CSPAN more interesting by having all Republican speakers use autotune.
* UFC is popular; make Congress more like that. In the least, install an Octagon. “We’ll settle this… in the Octagon!”
* Mustaches now mandatory for all men in the GOP.