Elizabeth Warren Diaries Leaked

Pendog [High Praise!] sent me this, claiming it’s from the diary that he personally snagged from Warren’s wigwam. I can neither confirm nor deny the accuracy of his story. As with the Hitler diaries, this could be a clever forgery. Caveat lector:

Excerpt from the very private diary of E. Warren

Dear Diary:

I’m so full of excitement and at the same time apprehension today. Only two more days to go before I claim my birthright and fulfill another chapter in my destiny. As a proud member of the Cherokee Nation, I know right down to my moccasins that I am going to prevail in this race and demonstrate to the entire country that an Indian gal can overcome all odds thru sheer force of will and generous application of campaign funds funneled to the proper union operatives. My campaign manager tells me all I have to do is hunker down on my sinewy Native American haunches and keep my forked tongue still as a reporter for the NYT covering Benghazi. Thank
the Great Spirit they are on our side.

I think I will spend the next few hours perusing the treasured pictures of my undeniable Indian heritage. The one I drew of myself leading a charge at the battle of Little Big Horn is still one of my favorites. Paw-Paw said at the time that he was so proud of his warrior princess and that he wished he could send me to Harvard but didn’t know how he could pay for it. Somehow I knew even then that Spirit in the Sky would show me what box to check, er, I mean put an x in, when I filled out my application to Harvard.

Well Diary, I need to go now, I just remembered a delicious Cherokee recipe for choke-cherries and Rocky Mountain oysters that I want to share on my Facebook page. As much as I would like to post some more of my heritage pictures there, I feel it would not be appropriate to rub my opponent’s face in the glory of my past (even tho the one of me in a full head-dress would totally convince any doubters of my shady claims to be Native American).

I will write with more later, until then, I am…

Liz-Red-On-the-Inside Warren.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

One Comment

Comments are closed.