Frank J. 2016: No Taxes

Posted on November 14, 2012 3:00 pm

Taxes are a horrible idea. It’s an idea left over from when monarchs thought they owned the people and their stuff. Who knows what was going through the Founding Fathers’ heads when they allowed taxation, but it makes me want to smack the powdered wigs off them.

Of course, the government needs money. But if it’s doing useful stuff, it should be able to go door to door explaining what it’s trying to do and how much money it needs and we can decide for ourselves whether the government deserves our money. If it’s doing important stuff as it claims, I’ll open my checkbook because I’m a generous guy. If it starts to pitch some ponzi Social Security scheme to me, I will punch that government representative in the face and send him on his way.

So as president, I will work to eliminate all taxes and put it in the Constitution the government has no right to our money. If the government wants money, it needs to explain to us nicely what it wants to do and we’ll decide ourselves whether that’s an idiotic waste of cash or not.

Frank J. 2016: The government should have to beg for our money.

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8 Responses to “Frank J. 2016: No Taxes”

  1. Linda Denno says:

    I would vote for you in a heartbeat! I do think a (slightly) more attainable tax policy would be to eliminate withholding. Taxes should be due the day before election day! But we have to do it quick before too few are paying taxes. I don’t think we can wait until you are elected president in 2016. Maybe Obama will be impeached, you can be chosen as Biden’s vice president, and succeed to the presidency when his head explodes!

  2. Razor says:

    The Founding Fathers thought taxes were cool because the Founders only allowed stakeholders to vote. Somewhere along the way, that all changed. Now people who don’t pay a nickel in taxes can vote. Better yet, we now give people other taxpayers’ money. Best of all, people can receive tax money, pay none AND can vote themselves more. Brilliant!

    And these Founders were supposedly so smart. Ha. Why didn’t those powdered wig dudes think of our current, awesome solution?

  3. hwuu says:

    It is doable. If we run a small enough government it should be able to manage off of import duties. no personal or corporate taxes at all.

  4. Jimmy says:

    Send me an invoice for services rendered. I always pay my bills.

    WOLVERINE!

  5. Fly says:

    Ok, I take it back, Frank: this form of government has never been tried before.

    hwuu raises a good point. Does “No taxes” also mean no taxes on imports, Frank? And no sales tax?

  6. Houston says:

    How much to nuke the moon? I’ll get my checkbook!

  7. 4of7 says:

    Cafeteria government. “I’ll take some immigration control, treaty enforcement, and a double helping of national defense. NPR and National Endowment for the Arts? No thanks, that stuff gives me gas!”

  8. Bill54 says:

    The original constitution had no income tax. The federal government ran off excise taxes. FDR was a crook who wanted only to rule forever only he died first. Is Obama any better? We’ll see.

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