Comments on: I Turn 35 in 2014 So…

By: Slapout

Slapout — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 05:23:28 +0000

“- have a teleprompter handy at all times”

If you’re budget is low, you can probably just use a teleprompter app for the iPad.

By: Penultimatum

Penultimatum — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 03:06:23 +0000

I’m in. Frnak J in 2016!

By: walkingdead

walkingdead — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 02:34:46 +0000

I was gonna announce my candidacy next week. maybe we should have a blogger debate primary.

By: Bunkerhillbilly

Bunkerhillbilly — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 00:24:39 +0000

Due to your history of Celtiphobic sentiments, Frank, you’re going to have to work doubly hard to secure my vote.

Perhaps humble entreaties to Paul Ryan and Bishop D’Arcy. Accompanying photos being released, by your campaign flacks, showing you prostrating yourself before the altar of a Catholic cathedral, might serve as a start.

Given as you will need the support of the Irish, who are renowned for their skills at mirthfully undermining and destroying with panache.

You might want to change your name slightly as well…tell the press that when you were young your dad went back to his native land…hmmm…not Kenya-you’re too WASPy for that…Aberstwyth, Wales will do…and that you once took the surname of your step-dad Barretson Koffey. So, among childhood friends you were Frank J. Fleming-Koffey.

That way, when you’re out on the campaign hustings the crowds can chant: ” F-J-F-K…F-J-F-K!”

By: Iowa Jim

Iowa Jim — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 22:04:00 +0000

Not sure how one formally starts a campaign, but we can all get working on this now.

- make sure that nobody can see your college transcript, SAT scores, or anything like that
- have everybody gush about how brilliant you are, because you’ve discovered seven additional states or something like that
- select a human whoopee cushion as your VP candidate
- have a job history consisting of titles like community organizer, chief marketing officer, human resources manager, or typical pencil guster
- have a teleprompter handy at all times

It seems to work.

Bacon to the first person who recognizes the “typical pencil guster” reference.

By: tim

tim — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 21:30:20 +0000

Soon you’ll have people campaigning:
“Impeach President … uh … Jack Flemish! … No that can’t be right.”

By: tomg51

tomg51 — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 20:06:00 +0000

Vote FrankJ !

Get a classic photo remake of Buttercup under the Resolute Desk!

By: Vaktatunnen

Vaktatunnen — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:48:34 +0000

Destruction as a creative act. You’ll get all the artistes voting for you. And the Joker, too.

By: Marcopohlo

Marcopohlo — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:36:28 +0000

It’s a nice fantasy, but my personal experience is that a sufficiently large bureaucracy effectively isolates those who threaten it, and then expels them. Or else co-opts them.

And then they end up on the lecture circuit. It isn’t pretty.

By: artvol11

artvol11 — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:34:23 +0000

The Moon will be nuked in 2016!!!! I’m all in!! Finally some good news after last night.

By: Ernie Loco

Ernie Loco — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:45:44 +0000

Funny, I was just thinking about doing something like that myself, Frank. Not running for President, but becoming part of the government in an effort to take it down from the inside.

Although, if you were purposely trying to make the government more inefficient, worthless, and unable to do anything useful, what would you do different from what they’re doing now?

By: Brutus

Brutus — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:38:31 +0000

You will need signatures to get on the ballot. Maybe practice writing yours 20,000 different ways.

Oh, yeah. Money. Other peoples, from overseas. Have you tried to save a Congolese prince from bankruptcy? That always works to raise money.

If you are tres smart you might even learn how to set up a website. Have you ever thought to write a book? So people can get to know you.

Eating a dog is also en vogue. Or become an Indian. But I think you have to be 37 to make that jump.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:30:41 +0000

“A car in every garage and a gun in every potheads junk”.

By: Rock Throwing Peasant

Rock Throwing Peasant — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:26:46 +0000

“I’m Buttercup’s dad and I approve this message.”

By: Genghis Khen

Genghis Khen — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:19:44 +0000

I already approve of your foreign policy.

By: KristenS

KristenS — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:18:33 +0000

Name your campaign “The Ron Swanson Presidency”. Everyone will vote for you.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:06:27 +0000

You got my vote!!!