Our Kids Are Doomed. Give Them a Twinkie

In my new PJ Media column, I argue we need to stop worrying so much about our future, since there is none.

And that’s why we need to stop worrying about the future: There is none. We have already destroyed it. The future our children can expect is one where global warming-caused super hurricanes slam them every other day while they’re too broke to even afford a tarp to cover themselves from the rain. And maybe they’ll also get nuked by Iran. That’s why Michelle Obama’s crusade for children’s health is so horrible. If you look at the facts, our children are basically the walking dead — or with the obesity epidemic, the waddling dead — so the least we can do is give them some frickin’ candy.

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10 Comments

  1. our children are basically the walking dead — or with the obesity epidemic, the waddling dead — so the least we can do is give them some frickin’ candy.

    Used to be it was a bad thing for politicians to steal candy from a baby. Now they get re-elected for it. We really are doomed.

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  2. FYI, folks…Hostess (who produced Twinkies) also owns Drake’s and Dolly Madison.

    That’s right, Devil Dogs are in jeopardy. Yodels and Ring-Dings too.

    [balls up fist, shakes same at sky] D@mn you, Health Nazis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Plant fruit trees.
    You may never see a harvest, but your children may.
    The not knowing the outcome, but planting anyway, is a tonic against despair.
    And with diligence, you may be able to make your own d*mn fruit-pies someday!

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  4. It isn’t Moochelle’s fault, everybody just tuned out her annoying foghorn.
    But the Bakers’ union decided they were tired of working and unwilling to allow others the option of employment.
    Remember what happened to the Coal Miners’ Union in the 1930s. They still have never fully recovered from their demands for $30/hr wages in the Depression.
    Speaking of Depression, when does this get re-classified as a Depression so that DemoCraps can take the blame.

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