Our Kids Are Doomed. Give Them a Twinkie

Posted on November 17, 2012 11:02 am

In my new PJ Media column, I argue we need to stop worrying so much about our future, since there is none.

And that’s why we need to stop worrying about the future: There is none. We have already destroyed it. The future our children can expect is one where global warming-caused super hurricanes slam them every other day while they’re too broke to even afford a tarp to cover themselves from the rain. And maybe they’ll also get nuked by Iran. That’s why Michelle Obama’s crusade for children’s health is so horrible. If you look at the facts, our children are basically the walking dead — or with the obesity epidemic, the waddling dead — so the least we can do is give them some frickin’ candy.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

10 Responses to “Our Kids Are Doomed. Give Them a Twinkie”

  1. Mxymaster says:

    Might as well give them candy. We zombies are supposed to have bad teeth.

  2. Buttercup says:

    our children are basically the walking dead — or with the obesity epidemic, the waddling dead — so the least we can do is give them some frickin’ candy.

    Used to be it was a bad thing for politicians to steal candy from a baby. Now they get re-elected for it. We really are doomed.

  3. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    FYI, folks…Hostess (who produced Twinkies) also owns Drake’s and Dolly Madison.

    That’s right, Devil Dogs are in jeopardy. Yodels and Ring-Dings too.

    [balls up fist, shakes same at sky] D@mn you, Health Nazis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. zzyzx says:

    Twinkies are dead, get over it. ~ The International Brotherhood of Bakers and Business Destroyers .

  5. 4of7 says:

    Plant fruit trees.
    You may never see a harvest, but your children may.
    The not knowing the outcome, but planting anyway, is a tonic against despair.
    And with diligence, you may be able to make your own d*mn fruit-pies someday!

  6. victore says:

    If Obama nationalized Hostess would he order them build a Twinkie that bursts into flames just as you put it in your mouth?

  7. Writer says:

    It isn’t Moochelle’s fault, everybody just tuned out her annoying foghorn.
    But the Bakers’ union decided they were tired of working and unwilling to allow others the option of employment.
    Remember what happened to the Coal Miners’ Union in the 1930s. They still have never fully recovered from their demands for $30/hr wages in the Depression.
    Speaking of Depression, when does this get re-classified as a Depression so that DemoCraps can take the blame.

  8. NoMoBama says:

    I bought up my stores entire Ring Ding inventory, I can use them fend off the 300 lb leech next door when her Obama bucks run out and she wants to eat me. Then I make good my escape.

  9. Denise says:

    I’m mostly gonna miss the raspberry Zingers. Betcha Lil Debbie is gonna make a fortune over this.

  10. Harvey says:

    I’ll miss Suzy Q’s – the only Hostess dessert that actually had ENOUGH creme filling.

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>