Random Thoughts: Thoughts From Before the Calamity

Please don’t announce on Twitter what happens in the election; I’m DVRing it to watch tomorrow.

Some people like liberty. Other people are like, “That sounds hard.” But we can all work together. Or one work for the other, at least.

I don’t see any scenario in which Romney wins unless he gets more votes than Obama in key states.

I’ve been engaging in the oldest and most reliable form of voter suppression: shoving people down wells.

Can’t you little Commies go buy your own “I Voted” sticker instead of making the government hand them out using my tax dollars?

I just realized that thing where you push a button and someone you don’t know dies but you get $1 million is a great govt spending metaphor.

Well, voting went horrible. I found out Raul Labrador isn’t my rep and I didn’t get to vote for him in his first reelection.

Oh, he was my rep, but they moved the district line and I now literally live just a couple yards into district 2.

Well, my day is ruined. Idaho district 2 sucks, and now I’m in it. Hope the day goes better for the rest of you.

The only competitive things in Idaho are these Props 1,2,and 3. Don’t know anything other than teachers’ unions oppose, so voted for them.

Aw man. I share my district with those Sun Valley snobs.

What? Congressman Mike Simpson has a blue check mark on Twitter and way less followers than me? Do you automatically get one if you’re elected to national office? So how hard is it to get elected to national office? I really want a blue check mark.

Didn’t know drawing the two districts in Idaho was contentious. If you want them to stay red, just make sure they include Idaho.

After the election is over, we need to replay it 1000 more times to test how accurate Nate Silver’s model was.

Buttercup demanded my “I Voted” sticker 🙁

If voting lines seem long, remember that Nate Silver says Obama has a 90% chance of winning so if you were voting for Obama, don’t bother.

Let’s all get to bed early and then wake up refreshed to find out who is president.

Keep a look out for musician and Hollywood actor endorsements if you want to know how people dumber and more arrogant than you are voting.

My best case scenario is a big Romney victory and then Obama throwing a huge tantrum in his concession speech.

Democrats best hope is a rerun (with parties reversed) of 2004, though some Republicans still hoping this is a 1980.

My inside sources are telling me it’s looking pretty certain Romney will carry Idaho.

I’m not really prepared for either outcome.

I wish Andrew Breitbart was around today to cause trouble 🙁

If Romney wins, he should consider it a mandate and have the military seize and imprison all Democrat politicians. He could put them in Gitmo which Obama conveniently kept open.

If Romney wins, I’m going to gloat so horribly. And if Obama wins, I’m going to act so blasé about it.

Exit polls consistently over-represent people who are exiting.

Exit polls tend to under-represent the right since they often burrow out of the voting booth.

Got word from an unnamed Republican that he has problems registering for lots of simple things due to lack of name.

Also, this unnamed Republican tells me he hates being just called, “Hey you!” but that aren’t a lot of other options.

“My parents may have neglected to give me a name, but I know one thing: I vote GOP.” -unnamed Republican

My dream is to one day vote for president and then never hear about the guy again until the next election.

“I’ll take a nap and let you solve your own damn problems.” -my vow for day one of my presidency

Oh yeah, the Supreme Court. If Obama wins, I hope all the conservative judges are okay with not dying for four more years.

I like that a lot of polling places are churches. People are less likely to vote Democrat if they think Jesus is watching.

I thought we were told the Republican Congress was record unpopular?

If it’s not a Romney landslide, I’m not interested. Had to be a major rebuke to Obama.

No matter who you’re rooting for, the new Bond movie is supposed to be good so it should be a decent week.

So Obama to continue on as he does, a Republican House to block him, and a Democrat Senate to not pass a budget. #StatusQuo

Man is the president in 2016 going to have a big mess he inherited to whine about.

New Hampshire called for Obama. I thought “Live Free or Die” had an obvious answer, but people surprise you.

“Live Free or Free Stuff”

Trying to think of where to go from “Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything” to title my next book…

Doesn’t the GOP have a great lineup for the 2016 presidential race? Makes you optimistic for the future!

Hopefully this will all be wrapped up tonight so Obama tomorrow can get right back to whining about Republicans blocking his plans.

People say the economy will eventually collapse if we keep heaping on debt, but there’s only way to really find that out.

I’m really tired of the party of Bill Clinton pretending they care about rape.

I despise Elizabeth Warren. Very few more dishonest than rich people who rant against rich people.

So, results seem to be that most Americans think we’re on the wrong path and want to keep everything basically the same.

Republicans seem to be keeping their House gains from 2010 if that’s much of prize.

Worst. President. Reelected. Ever.

My advice: Exercise and eat well every day. It will be the strong who get to rebuild things after the collapse.

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  1. Contact your representative today. Start the impeachment over Benghazi. It’ll never pass the Dem. senate, but at least we could get the word out of what a ****head this guy is.


  2. The good news is, you can still get 1000 rounds of 9mm ammo for around $200 and 1000 rounds of 5.56 AR-15 ammo for around $450-$500.

    I’m planning to convert my 401k to ammo for the next four years. I think that will be the best investment I can make. And thanks to the past four years of Obama’s economic policies, my 401k is now only worth a few thousand rounds – so I don’t need any special license to store it all.


  3. your next book: “B.O…worse than it smells.”

    “michelle o…the angriest bee-atch in the history of the presidency”



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