Straight Line of the Day: 30 States Have Submitted Petitions to Secede. The New Country Will Be Called…

Posted on November 15, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

30 states have submitted petitions to secede. The new country will be called…

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83 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: 30 States Have Submitted Petitions to Secede. The New Country Will Be Called…”

  1. Cathy says:


  2. rodney dill says:


  3. rodney dill says:


  4. rodney dill says:


  5. Genghis Khen says:

    Awesome States of America

  6. Genghis Khen says:


  7. Kevin Maloy says:

    The Country Formerly known as the United States of America. Or, Galtia.

  8. g says:

    … No Trespassing

  9. Kerkat says:

    Freedom Utopia. “Where are you from?” “I’m from F.U.”

  10. jw says:

    @9 Kerkat

    i can’t top that. won’t even try.

  11. g says:

    … the new country will be called the United states of America, the old country will be called New Kenya.

  12. FormerHostage says:

    Seceded Territories Forever United (STFU).

  13. FormerHostage says:

    Teenage Wasteland.

  14. FormerHostage says:

    The United States of Awsome!

  15. Marc says:

    … the new country will be called the United states of America, the old country will be called New Kenya Zombieland.

    …The Plains Nation or the Georgia Federation? Definately not the Monroe Republic…or the Obama Republic…or Obamaland.

    … The Confederate States of America.

  16. Apostic says:

    And coming soon, “How To Fix Everything in Freedom Utopia Forever” by Frank J. Fleming. Reserve your copy of “F.U. Forever” now!

  17. McGonzo says:

    The Free States of America!

  18. Kerkat says:

    @ FormerHostage
    Well played sir…..

  19. FormerHostage says:


    National Motto: Guns, God, Guts and Bacon.

  20. tomg51 says:


    Because the remnants will so be asking “Please Sir, I want some more?”

  21. rodney dill says:


  22. rodney dill says:

    #12: Excellent

  23. T-dog says:

    The kingdom Fleming

  24. NoMoBama says:

    The new country will be called…racist, obviously.

    oooh you mean what will the people there call it?

    “Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last.”

    Is that too long?

  25. NoMoBama says:

    Land of Liberty (LOL)

  26. Toadroller says:

    I’m reminded of the Monty Python skit, “What shall we call the Belgians?”

    “Miserable, fat, belgian bastards!”

    “Let’s not call them anything!”

  27. plentyobailouts says:





  28. Toadroller says:

    Welcome, my friends, to Paradise Island.

  29. John says:


  30. tomg51 says:


    They would speak Flemish?

  31. Manolo says:

    …”The Republic of Bacon.”

  32. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Independent Magnificent American Offshoot (IMAO)

    West America


    A Better Place (so when the people in the old USA try to come over, they have to say they’re leaving for ‘a better place’)

  33. Manolo says:


  34. Manolo says:

    ….either “North Mexico” or “South Canada.”

  35. Manolo says:

    …a republic again.

  36. NoMoBama says:


    That has a nice ring to it.

  37. NoMoBama says:

    Republic Of The Free Legitimate Mighty American Opportunity


  38. FormerHostage says:

    See what you started?!?!?!!

  39. zzyzx says:

    Call it Mu-Mu Land, and make this it’s national anthem…

  40. FormerHostage says:

    New States Fighting Welfare (NSFW)

  41. rodney dill says:


    That has a nice ring to it.

    I actually thought of your moniker when I typed that in and almost put NoMoBamaland, but that sounded too much like plagiarism, not that that has stopped me before.

  42. rodney dill says:

    @FormerHostage #40, but they would be SFWing

  43. rodney dill says:

    @Manolo #33, So nice they named it twice. 😉

  44. rodney dill says:

    Motto: We didn’t secede, we suceeded.

  45. NoMoBama says:

    Mighty Immigrants Long Forgotten


  46. NoMoBama says:

    America Sane And Prosperous


  47. rodney dill says:

    Motto: We didn’t secede, we succeeded.

  48. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …The United States of Non Dog Eaters.

  49. Kerkat says:

    Motherland Of Freedom (and) Opportunity [MOFO]

    And yes, technically it’s mofao but I’m sure that means something in some weird foreign language. I’m just trying to appeal to those out side the conservative base.

    And I realize its a pg13 site so I apologize for what I started.

  50. Kerkat says:

    So I’m gonna stop before Frank J or Harvey bans me

  51. Writer says:

    The State of Being
    (as opposed to the State of Non-Being, or Zombieland)

  52. HokieGomer says:

    The REAL United States of America

  53. tanstaafl says:

    plymouth plantation

  54. Dohtimes says:

    …Intruders Will Be Shot, if you go by the signs posted at the borders.

    …Ireland, but just to keep too many Brits from wanting to visit, or stay too long.

    …The Republic of We Will Hunt You Down And Shoot You In The Face.

    …Thermopylae Was A Picnic, Punk.

  55. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…We the People. Then we would have a President of We the People, the Supreme Court of We the people, etc..It might just remind them who serves whom.

  56. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…Bacon Greece (Do we get to march 2nd in Olympic ceromonies?)

  57. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…Old America

  58. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…The Reality Czech Republic

  59. Son of Bob says:

    Bacon…because Muslims won’t come anywhere near Bacon.

  60. Smock says:

    TANSTAFL (There Ain’t No Such Thing As a Free Lunch)

  61. john1v6 says:


    (Quite frankly, I don’t care what we name it, as long as my home is there)

  62. Ira says:

    Anything we Goddamn want to call it!

  63. phreshone says:

    New Original America…

  64. phreshone says:

    Flyoverlandia… if you dare

  65. phreshone says:


  66. Tau Dades says:

    The People’s Republic of America… but they might confuse it for Lefty Land (old America)

  67. CaptMidnight says:

    The Confederate States of America.

  68. CaptMidnight says:

    The Conservative Republic of American People. CRAP

  69. Doug says:

    … the new country will be called, “The New Country”.

  70. Harvey says:


  71. Lynk says:

    mental midgets….what did they call Georgia or Tajikistan when they Seceded from the USSR? …..

  72. Lynk says:

    States ARE their own Sovereign if the TV Internet or Iphone doesn’t tell you no matter your education you completely don’t know huh?

  73. Canuck Mike says:

    The Republic of Doug

    (Obama’s America) New Albania
    (Obama’s America) The Great Wasteland
    (Obama’s America) Canada’s Vassal State

  74. rodney dill says:

    “I’ll have a Coke” land

  75. Stephen says:

    The new country will be called The United States of America.

    “No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.” -Michael Bolton (Office Space)-

  76. Iowa Jim says:


  77. DamnCat says:


  78. Ira says:

    Hail! Hail Freedonia, land of the brave… and… free..!
    If you think the country’s bad off now, just wait till I get through with it!
    (both shamelessly taken from the Marx Brothers’ “Duck Soup”)

  79. Steve says:

    The newly formed country to retain the name United States of America. Judging by the landmass and where it is, the new territories will be called simply, hungry.

  80. Ogrrre says:

    The Independent States of America.
    Even Better: The Constitutional States of America (or Conservative States of America). The initials CSA should drive the libs crazier.

  81. Stephen M. St. Onge says:

    We Escaped.

  82. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “30 states have submitted petitions to secede. The new country will be called…” […]

  83. Jay says:

    Well armed.

    Oh wait, you meant a name?

    I don’t know. Something with “Sovereign” or “Klerostocratic” in it.

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