Straight Line of the Day: 30 States Have Submitted Petitions to Secede. The New Country Will Be Called…

Posted on November 15, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

30 states have submitted petitions to secede. The new country will be called…

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83 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: 30 States Have Submitted Petitions to Secede. The New Country Will Be Called…”

  1. Writer says:

    The State of Being
    (as opposed to the State of Non-Being, or Zombieland)

  2. HokieGomer says:

    The REAL United States of America

  3. tanstaafl says:

    plymouth plantation

  4. Dohtimes says:

    …Intruders Will Be Shot, if you go by the signs posted at the borders.

    …Ireland, but just to keep too many Brits from wanting to visit, or stay too long.

    …The Republic of We Will Hunt You Down And Shoot You In The Face.

    …Thermopylae Was A Picnic, Punk.

  5. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…We the People. Then we would have a President of We the People, the Supreme Court of We the people, etc..It might just remind them who serves whom.

  6. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…Bacon Greece (Do we get to march 2nd in Olympic ceromonies?)

  7. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…Old America

  8. CTCompromise says:

    The new country will be called…The Reality Czech Republic

  9. Son of Bob says:

    Bacon…because Muslims won’t come anywhere near Bacon.

  10. Smock says:

    TANSTAFL (There Ain’t No Such Thing As a Free Lunch)

  11. john1v6 says:


    (Quite frankly, I don’t care what we name it, as long as my home is there)

  12. Ira says:

    Anything we Goddamn want to call it!

  13. phreshone says:

    New Original America…

  14. phreshone says:

    Flyoverlandia… if you dare

  15. phreshone says:


  16. Tau Dades says:

    The People’s Republic of America… but they might confuse it for Lefty Land (old America)

  17. CaptMidnight says:

    The Confederate States of America.

  18. CaptMidnight says:

    The Conservative Republic of American People. CRAP

  19. Doug says:

    … the new country will be called, “The New Country”.

  20. Harvey says:


  21. Lynk says:

    mental midgets….what did they call Georgia or Tajikistan when they Seceded from the USSR? …..

  22. Lynk says:

    States ARE their own Sovereign if the TV Internet or Iphone doesn’t tell you no matter your education you completely don’t know huh?

  23. Canuck Mike says:

    The Republic of Doug

    (Obama’s America) New Albania
    (Obama’s America) The Great Wasteland
    (Obama’s America) Canada’s Vassal State

  24. rodney dill says:

    “I’ll have a Coke” land

  25. Stephen says:

    The new country will be called The United States of America.

    “No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.” -Michael Bolton (Office Space)-

  26. Iowa Jim says:


  27. DamnCat says:


  28. Ira says:

    Hail! Hail Freedonia, land of the brave… and… free..!
    If you think the country’s bad off now, just wait till I get through with it!
    (both shamelessly taken from the Marx Brothers’ “Duck Soup”)

  29. Steve says:

    The newly formed country to retain the name United States of America. Judging by the landmass and where it is, the new territories will be called simply, hungry.

  30. Ogrrre says:

    The Independent States of America.
    Even Better: The Constitutional States of America (or Conservative States of America). The initials CSA should drive the libs crazier.

  31. Stephen M. St. Onge says:

    We Escaped.

  32. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “30 states have submitted petitions to secede. The new country will be called…” […]

  33. Jay says:

    Well armed.

    Oh wait, you meant a name?

    I don’t know. Something with “Sovereign” or “Klerostocratic” in it.

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