Straight Line of the Day: GM’s Rolling Out a New Electric Car…

Posted on November 28, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

GM’s rolling out a new electric car…

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45 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: GM’s Rolling Out a New Electric Car…”

  1. McGonzo says:

    . . . that is powered by gasoline in cars owned by rich people around you.

  2. TedWade73 says:

    It couldn’t be helped, all the ramps were set up downhill.

  3. Son of Bob says:

    …because it doesn’t run under its own power.

  4. SOYLENT GREEN says:

    Called the El Fuego, it has a copper frame–that way even the flames are green.

  5. g says:

    … but it would be more efficient to cut out the middle man and just power them off of fire extinguishers.

  6. Dohtimes says:

    …after you use the door key you tie it to the kite.

  7. DamnCat says:

    …attendees of the unveiling will be provided with long sticks and marshmallows.

  8. a guy named Rob says:

    which solves the battery life problem, and comes with a 5 mile extension cord, and additional cords are available for a fee, on back order. Only warrantied if you return home the exact same way you left.

  9. Dohtimes says:

    …that runs on the same gauge track that Biden’s choo-choo train runs on.

  10. DamnCat says:

    Unfortunately, due to the impending budget sequestration, The U.S. Coast Guard will only be ordering 4,000 of them.

  11. DamnCat says:

    @Dohtimes – Biden’s choo-choo went off the tracks long ago.

  12. silverfiddle says:

    … Called the Obummer. It runs on BS and flatulence and can carry one set of golf clubs in its trunk.

  13. Eric Praline says:

    …it comes in original, hickory, or mesquite.

  14. gsmtiger says:

    . . . that blames its problems on its predecessors.

  15. Writer says:

    GM’s rolling out a new electric car…and it has a ninrty-foot Lightning Rod for refueling. It can only travel across country during a hurricane.

  16. rodney dill says:

    In honor of Mr. President, GM announces the new DOLT.

  17. Dohtimes says:

    …and now Rita the meter maid works for Con Edison.

  18. rodney dill says:

    that uses fewer D-cells than Michelle’s pleasure toys.

  19. rodney dill says:

    That Obama bought for all his Chicago friends, until he found out is really was electric and not eclectic.

  20. rodney dill says:

    …batteries not included.

  21. calcpa says:

    It comes with a free charger.
    Plymouth says to drive the Charger. It’s a better car.

  22. rodney dill says:

    Which was immensely popular, as with only 1.21 Gigawatts of power it could travel to a time when Obama wasn’t/isn’t President.

  23. rodney dill says:

    Doesn’t it run on 220?
    220, 221, whatever it takes.

  24. tomg51 says:

    ..because they can’t make Volts fast enough to keep up with demand….

  25. tomg51 says:

    …because “we won”

    … because they couldn’t think of anything worse to do with your money…

  26. tomg51 says:

    ….when they could of had a V8

  27. tomg51 says:

    could have had

  28. Solo4357 says:

    It has an amazing range of (insert your electric cord length here).

  29. Alucard says:

    …driven by consumer demand. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!

  30. slapout says:

    Runs on AA batteries! Only 1 foot long! Get one for your kids for Christmas (remote control sold separately).

  31. Marc says:

    It is made of material that, when it bursts into flames, only gives off half of the green house gas of a Chevy Volt.

    Comes with new options such as an on-board fire suppression system.

  32. DamnCat says:

    …it will only come in pink and will be named “O-Barbie’s Dream Car”.

  33. rodney dill says:

    …where 47% of the battery doesn’t work at all.

  34. hwy93 says:

    This is tough “GM’s rolling out a new electric car…” is both the straight line AND the punchline.

  35. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . and those in the market for a new automobile are rolling it right back to GM.

  36. hwy93 says:

    … instead of having it’s power output measured in horse power, It will be measured in the more eco friendly hamster power.
    … Which employs Dyson Ball technology to allow it to suck more than the Volt
    … Available in economy, coupe, and skateboard

  37. hwy93 says:

    … Comes standard with cards in the spokes for that “real car” sound.

  38. Conservatarian says:

    …that doesn’t explode upon impact.

  39. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …GM loses $100,000 per car sold, but expects to make up the difference in volume bailouts.

  40. Dohtimes says:

    …your miles per ton of coal burned to charge the battery may vary.

    …the low rider version has the Obama Jesus statue and NaggingWookie alarm whether you want them or not.

    …it only comes with an automatic transmission but every time you make a left turn Chris Matthews gets asked if that’s a gear shift in his pocket or is he just glad to see your new car.

  41. rodney dill says:

    GM’s rolling out a new electric car… because it won’t start.

  42. rodney dill says:

    …The Trunk Monkey gets a cattle prod instead of a tire iron.

  43. Manolo says:

    GM’s rolling out a new electric car…but 17.5 percent of it doesn’t do anything but bitch about how bad management is, moan about how “those damn Japs ruined the American auto industry,” and remind the driver that it gets a 15-minute coffee break every hour.

  44. Bad Science says:

    GM’s Rolling Out a New Electric Car…
    Which is charged by Al Gore’s coal burning jet chair –
    http://ryskindsketchbook.wordpress.com/2008/07/19/coal-burning-jet-chair/

  45. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “GM’s rolling out a new electric car…” […]

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