Comments on: Straight Line of the Day: GM’s Rolling Out a New Electric Car…

By: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 00:14:22 +0000

[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “GM’s rolling out a new electric car…” [...]

By: Bad Science

Bad Science — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 02:56:49 +0000

GM’s Rolling Out a New Electric Car…
Which is charged by Al Gore’s coal burning jet chair -
http://ryskindsketchbook.wordpress.com/2008/07/19/coal-burning-jet-chair/

By: Manolo

Manolo — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 00:00:28 +0000

GM’s rolling out a new electric car…but 17.5 percent of it doesn’t do anything but bitch about how bad management is, moan about how “those damn Japs ruined the American auto industry,” and remind the driver that it gets a 15-minute coffee break every hour.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 23:19:17 +0000

…The Trunk Monkey gets a cattle prod instead of a tire iron.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:53:01 +0000

GM’s rolling out a new electric car… because it won’t start.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:32:58 +0000

…your miles per ton of coal burned to charge the battery may vary.

…the low rider version has the Obama Jesus statue and NaggingWookie alarm whether you want them or not.

…it only comes with an automatic transmission but every time you make a left turn Chris Matthews gets asked if that’s a gear shift in his pocket or is he just glad to see your new car.

By: Bob in Feenicks

Bob in Feenicks — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 21:53:11 +0000

…GM loses $100,000 per car sold, but expects to make up the difference in ~~volume~~ bailouts.

By: Conservatarian

Conservatarian — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 21:20:16 +0000

…that doesn’t explode upon impact.

By: hwy93

hwy93 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:58:31 +0000

… Comes standard with cards in the spokes for that “real car” sound.

By: hwy93

hwy93 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:47:04 +0000

… instead of having it’s power output measured in horse power, It will be measured in the more eco friendly hamster power.
… Which employs Dyson Ball technology to allow it to suck more than the Volt
… Available in economy, coupe, and skateboard

By: Iowa Jim

Iowa Jim — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:37:35 +0000

. . . and those in the market for a new automobile are rolling it right back to GM.

By: hwy93

hwy93 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:37:08 +0000

This is tough “GM’s rolling out a new electric car…” is both the straight line AND the punchline.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:16:45 +0000

…where 47% of the battery doesn’t work at all.

By: DamnCat

DamnCat — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:01:52 +0000

…it will only come in pink and will be named “O-Barbie’s Dream Car”.

By: Marc

Marc — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:14:26 +0000

It is made of material that, when it bursts into flames, only gives off half of the green house gas of a Chevy Volt.

Comes with new options such as an on-board fire suppression system.

By: slapout

slapout — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:39:53 +0000

Runs on AA batteries! Only 1 foot long! Get one for your kids for Christmas (remote control sold separately).

By: Alucard

Alucard — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:35:40 +0000

…driven by consumer demand. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!

By: Solo4357

Solo4357 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:32:06 +0000

It has an amazing range of (insert your electric cord length here).

By: tomg51

tomg51 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:25:25 +0000

could have had

By: tomg51

tomg51 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:22:25 +0000

….when they could of had a V8

By: tomg51

tomg51 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:17:59 +0000

…because “we won”

… because they couldn’t think of anything worse to do with your money…

By: tomg51

tomg51 — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:11:59 +0000

..because they can’t make Volts fast enough to keep up with demand….

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:10:00 +0000

Doesn’t it run on 220?
220, 221, whatever it takes.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:07:17 +0000

Which was immensely popular, as with only 1.21 Gigawatts of power it could travel to a time when Obama wasn’t/isn’t President.

By: calcpa

calcpa — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:06:34 +0000

It comes with a free charger.
Plymouth says to drive the Charger. It’s a better car.