Straight Line of the Day: Obama Proposes 6,125 New Regulations. The Craziest One…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Obama proposes 6,125 new regulations. The craziest one…
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
November 13th, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Obama proposes 6,125 new regulations. The craziest one mandates that everyone visiting Graceland must step on Elvis’ blue suede shoes twice: once upon entering and once upon leaving.
-ls
November 13th, 2012 at 12:06 pm
CEOs of companies making more than 1 million / year must wear a top hat and monocle
November 13th, 2012 at 12:18 pm
…shouldn’t really be a surprise: “all half black two-term presidents receive right of first refusal as to a third and fourth term”.
…”says you have to make my bunk. if we were in germany I’d have to make your bunk, but we’re in italy so you have to make mine. it’s regulations.”
…mandates the creation of the half-black panthers.
…blames bush for benghazi.
…requires registering your imao handle in the fbi database.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:25 pm
…involves a rubber chicken, a can of Crisco and Richard Trumka’s mustache.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:30 pm
…creates the “Barrack H. Obama Presidential Library, featuring the Vice President Joe Biden Children’s Reading Room.”
November 13th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
…is a regulation for more regulations.
…requires all voters not to have ID.
…is a troop surge in the War on Women.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:38 pm
… Instead of a little read book citizens must at all times carry an i-pod full of 0bama’s speeches.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:38 pm
…prohibits companies from firing employees or reducing their hours or pay.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Manolo at #4 has it so far. That’s just sick, Manolo … keep it up!
November 13th, 2012 at 12:40 pm
…mandates a chicken in every pot.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Badges? We don’t need not stinkin’ badges.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
The honey badger has to care
November 13th, 2012 at 12:50 pm
@tim #2 LOL
November 13th, 2012 at 12:58 pm
Let the Wookie win…
November 13th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
…still don’t know what it is, but Chief Elizabeth Warren claims she can ride it.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
…says ‘All your base are belong to us.’
November 13th, 2012 at 1:04 pm
…bans ROUS’s like Chris Christie…
(Republicans Of Unusual Size)
November 13th, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Bans Bacon
November 13th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
changes the pledge of allegiance to — “Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptangya Ziiinnggggggg Ni!”
November 13th, 2012 at 1:14 pm
All coins will now have the phrase “In Zod We Trust”
November 13th, 2012 at 1:15 pm
the office of President will now be changed to furor….
November 13th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
requires you to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring then fines you for deforestation.
authorizesrequires the IRS to tax all tax refunds.November 13th, 2012 at 1:22 pm
refuses to approve the Keystone Pipeline but autorizes the Vogons to build a hyperspace bypass.
November 13th, 2012 at 1:33 pm
specifies that non-citizens will only need to answer, “What is your favorite color?” to legally gain entry to the United States.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Straight Line of the Day: Obama Proposes 6,125 New Regulations. The Craziest One requires a young priest and an old priest.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
$10million to buy ZF-1′s to arm the Mexican cartels.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:12 pm
If you want your bread ration, you must first do the Truffle Shuffle.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
#24, how dare you force immigrants to be able to see color in order to gain lawful entry?! That’s suppression!
November 13th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
After the President finishes speaking everyone present will need to give him a “Harumph!”
November 13th, 2012 at 2:22 pm
You will be allowed to play “Words with Friends” on the tarmac.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
…requires k-y jelly, a gerbil and a tube of superglue.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:33 pm
is going to be passed so you can find out what’s in it.
November 13th, 2012 at 2:38 pm
…says the Senate must abide by them! Crazy! Insane! it’ll never work!
November 13th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
…NASA will design new spacesuits to be Muslim compliant and come with artificial gravity enabled prayer rugs.
…requires Yankee Doodle to arrive via high speed rail.
…imposes a fine on anyone who serves him a cooked canine when he says “Yo, Dawg”.
…is that any of his future sons look like him or have a passable resemblance to Trayvon, or be shot.
November 13th, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Obama proposes 6,125 new regulations. The craziest one…requires that for the next 4 years all male children born in the U.S.A. must be given the middle name Hussein.
November 13th, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Obama proposes 6,125 new regulations. The craziest one…requires that the Gideons must place a quran alongside every bible they place in hotel rooms.
November 13th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
…requires hillary pull up her hair and put on some makeup.
…requires bill clinton’s black book of autobiographers be cross-referenced with petraeus’ for overlap, then given to him in a brown envelope. history won’t write itself!
…instructs the press to start talking about michelle’s fantastic arms again.
…declares smoking good for you…but only menthols.
November 13th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Obama proposes 6,125 new regulations. The craziest one…requires straight married couples be automatically divorced after twenty-five years. that
November 13th, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Obama proposes 6,125 new regulations. The craziest one…requires that all reporters who dare to question him be deported.
November 13th, 2012 at 5:11 pm
…requires frankfurters to contain at least 20% real dog to be called hot dogs.
November 13th, 2012 at 6:04 pm
placed a tax on every hour saved during daylight savings time.
November 13th, 2012 at 6:09 pm
requires all americans to have their iq’s surgically reduced to the average of all those who voted for obama
November 13th, 2012 at 6:14 pm
The Crimson Tide will chant, “ROLL OBAMA ROLL!” at every game.
November 13th, 2012 at 8:02 pm
W.H. Petition Calls for Stripping Citizenship and Exile for Anyone Who Signs Petition to Secede
(nevermind, this one’s true.)
November 13th, 2012 at 11:14 pm
Orders the tide to recede.
When it doesn’t, blames King Canute.
November 14th, 2012 at 3:39 am
…specifies that everything bad that happened pre-2001 be Bush’s fault, too.
November 14th, 2012 at 3:44 am
…limits the total number of federal regulations to 6,124 (effective 12/21/2012), thus creating the paradox that will bring about the end of times.
November 14th, 2012 at 3:48 pm
…outlaws the use of toilet paper because it violates the just passed Endangered Feces Act.
November 14th, 2012 at 6:58 pm
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