Straight Line of the Day: The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…

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The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…

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  1. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was how easily the SEaLs could distinguish the hippies from the terrorists. Note to U.S. Navy: They’re ALL terrorists!!

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  2. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’… were the credits at the end where Obama’s director friend thanks Al Qaeda for its support and unfettered access.

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  3. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing the actor playing Matt Bissonnette kill Bin Laden, then look at the camera, wink and say, “Gutsy call, Mr. President. We couldn’t have found him without you and Uncle Joe leading us.”

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  4. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was at the end of the movie where the “Indiana Jones”-style plane trip map that shows SEaL Team 6’s helicopter landing in Gaza.

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  5. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was hearing “Strutter” by KISS play in the background every time the actress playing Secretary of State Clinton entered a room.

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  6. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…were the cutaway shots of President Obama personally writing condolence letters every time a terrorist was shot by a SEaL.

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  7. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when Obama led the frightened SEaL team through the compound while yelling, “C’mon, you S.O.Bs! You want to live forever!!”

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  8. …was that they found a Marty Feldman lookalike to play Obama, that was not the real Obama!

    …was all the time Michelle apparently spends scrapbooking articles about Michelle.

    …is that the location of the compound was learned by waterboarding a duck.

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  9. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is when Obama and Biden change into their Superhero costumes while sliding down their poles into the Bat Cave…er, War Room.

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  10. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    …was when the credits claimed Obama as Director and Producer with the United State as the Financiers.

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  11. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the careful product placement throughout it, like the Colt M-4s, the Beretta 92’s, the ITT Gen4 night vision goggles, the Point Blank Body Armor, Inc. body armor, the Danner combat boots, the….

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  12. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when the SEaLs burst in on Bin Laden and catch him on the toilet with Newsweek’s Obama centerfold and a bottle of hand lotion.

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  13. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is that any time one of the actors utters the words “President Obama” the soundtrack punctuates it with audio of Chris Matthews having an orgasm.

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  14. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is the scene where he opens his mail and there’s an invitation from Debbie Wasserman Schultz for him to introduce Obama at the Democratic National Convention.

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  15. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when they searched Bin Laden’s room they found his Katz’s Deli frequent buyer card, four still-warm bagels with whitefish and schmear, and a half-eaten jar of gefilte fish.

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  16. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the police report of Candy Crawley being arrested at a theatre under the “Pee Wee Herman” statute. (‘Gotta’ love equality!)

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  17. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’
    …the Seal Team doesn’t spend the entire trip to Osama’s compound raving and high-fiveing each other about what a ‘Gutsy Call’ Obama made.

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