Straight Line of the Day: The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…

Posted on November 27, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…

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71 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…”

  1. Scott says:

    …is that Obama DIDN’T actually pull the trigger.

  2. Mike in OH says:

    …is that “Zero Dark Thirty” was actually Osama bin Laden’s pet nickname for Obama.

  3. rodney dill says:

    The ‘Zero’ in the title actually refers to Joe Biden.

  4. rodney dill says:

    When they asked Hillary Clinton to come to the situation room to ‘watch the SEAL show,’ she initially thought they were watching Animal Planet.

  5. rodney dill says:

    Obama said, “I should get 2 and 1/2 hours more sleep…. I thought these calls came at 3:00 AM.”

  6. zzyzx says:

    …is that it still was able to reveal some secrets about the operation that hadn’t already been leaked to, and published in, the NY Times.

  7. rodney dill says:

    The SEAL Team’s first landing site was actually a mock-up of the town of Rock Ridge.

  8. rodney dill says:

    They’d forgotten to bring the manual to the ‘Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.’

  9. rodney dill says:

    “Zero Dark Thirty” is actually a racist code word.

  10. rodney dill says:

    The SEAL team all shouting “LEEEROY JENKINS!!!” as they ran into the compound.

  11. rodney dill says:

    It was going to be called ‘Zero Dark Eleven’ until Nigel Tufnel decided he wanted the knob to go all the way to 30.

  12. rodney dill says:

    Osama had actually been hiding in David Koresh old compound in Waco, not Pakistan.

  13. rodney dill says:

    Al Qaeda is still alive and GM is still dying.

  14. rodney dill says:

    None of the SEAL team actually remembered to be inside the giant wood rabbit.

  15. g says:

    … that they showed trailers for “The Path to 9/11 part 2″ in the coming attractions.

  16. DamnCat says:

    The Obama “HOPE” poster on the wall of Osama’s bedroom.

  17. artvol11 says:

    …was the fight to the death between GM and BL (Bin Ladin)

  18. Son of Bob says:

    …the shot of Paul Krugman running out the back door as the SEALs ran in.

  19. Matt Musson says:

    Rodney Dill did not write the screenplay…

    because he was too busy posting on IMAO and rewriting
    the stage version of Camelot.

  20. rodney dill says:

    Osama’s guards at his compound were all wearing red Star Trek tunics.

  21. rodney dill says:

    @Matt Musson: ;)

  22. t-dog says:

    …was seeing Obama greet his brother Osama before killing him.

  23. Scott says:

    Osama and Obama are NOT the same person.

  24. rodney dill says:

    Osama’s compound turned out to just be the local Abbottabad 7-Eleven.

  25. rodney dill says:

    Osama’s last utterance, ‘Rosebud.’

  26. spacemonkey says:

    The town was actually in the 21st century and only appeared to be in the 8th.

  27. spacemonkey says:

    Osama turned out to be Sylar.

  28. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Bin Laden is depicted as a Christian in order to not offend Muslims.

  29. rodney dill says:

    …when batman took of his mask and said, “220, 221, whatever it takes.”

    (I think my Mixed-Meme-mometer just exploded)

  30. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was how easily the SEaLs could distinguish the hippies from the terrorists. Note to U.S. Navy: They’re ALL terrorists!!

  31. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’… were the credits at the end where Obama’s director friend thanks Al Qaeda for its support and unfettered access.

  32. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing Obama look up from his putt when SEaL Team 6 reports Bin Laden is dead.

  33. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing Morgan Freeman and Jamie Foxx playing Bin Laden’s wives.

  34. Haiku Guy says:

    Osama is one
    Of the Final Five Cylons…
    I mean, What the Frack!

  35. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing the actor playing Matt Bissonnette kill Bin Laden, then look at the camera, wink and say, “Gutsy call, Mr. President. We couldn’t have found him without you and Uncle Joe leading us.”

  36. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was at the end of the movie where the “Indiana Jones”-style plane trip map that shows SEaL Team 6’s helicopter landing in Gaza.

  37. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that all the U.S. military personnel portrayed were wearing North Korean and Chi-Com uniforms.

  38. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that the U.S. flags on the SEaL team’s uniforms were upside down.

  39. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was hearing “Strutter” by KISS play in the background every time the actress playing Secretary of State Clinton entered a room.

  40. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…were the cutaway shots of President Obama personally writing condolence letters every time a terrorist was shot by a SEaL.

  41. Manolo says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when Obama led the frightened SEaL team through the compound while yelling, “C’mon, you S.O.Bs! You want to live forever!!”

  42. John B says:

    …that Seal Team Six is actually a group of humanoid avatars that Obama and staff entered to kill Bin Laden.

  43. HokieGomer says:

    …was the final scene where the SEALs are standing over OBL’s body and pull his mask off to find out it’s really Old Man Withers.

  44. hwy93 says:

    … That they were able to find someone in the middle east that Obama hasn’t bowed to…Or awkwardly groped if you include Burma

  45. rodney dill says:

    … Stewie following around fat people with a tuba.

  46. rodney dill says:

    When R. Lee Ermey tells Obama to ‘Go back to Mamby-Pamby land, ya Jack wagon.’

  47. Dohtimes says:

    …was that they found a Marty Feldman lookalike to play Obama, that was not the real Obama!

    …was all the time Michelle apparently spends scrapbooking articles about Michelle.

    …is that the location of the compound was learned by waterboarding a duck.

  48. Dohtimes says:

    …was the secret plan hatched to get Obama off the golf course by telling him the raid was the one planned for the ranch outside Crawford Texas.

  49. Dohtimes says:

    …was using Obama’s name in the title, not sure who Dark and Thirty are though.

  50. CTCompromise says:

    “The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that it was financed entirely by George Soros P.A.C. money

  51. CTCompromise says:

    “The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the disclaimer at the end that “No animals were hurt in the filming of this movie”.

  52. CTCompromise says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that all the weapons used were donated through the Fast & Furious program.

  53. CTCompromise says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is when Obama and Biden change into their Superhero costumes while sliding down their poles into the Bat Cave…er, War Room.

  54. Manolo says:

    @52: That was good… Oh so gooooooddd….

  55. Writer says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    …was when the credits claimed Obama as Director and Producer with the United State as the Financiers.

  56. Manolo says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the careful product placement throughout it, like the Colt M-4s, the Beretta 92’s, the ITT Gen4 night vision goggles, the Point Blank Body Armor, Inc. body armor, the Danner combat boots, the….

  57. Manolo says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when the SEaLs burst in on Bin Laden and catch him on the toilet with Newsweek’s Obama centerfold and a bottle of hand lotion.

  58. Manolo says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is that any time one of the actors utters the words “President Obama” the soundtrack punctuates it with audio of Chris Matthews having an orgasm.

  59. Manolo says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is that the actors actually keep straight faces.

  60. Manolo says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is the scene where he opens his mail and there’s an invitation from Debbie Wasserman Schultz for him to introduce Obama at the Democratic National Convention.

  61. Manolo says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is the bedroom scene where Bin Laden’s wife drops her burkha and it’s Candy Crowley.

  62. Manolo says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when they searched Bin Laden’s room they found his Katz’s Deli frequent buyer card, four still-warm bagels with whitefish and schmear, and a half-eaten jar of gefilte fish.

  63. CTCompromise says:

    “The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that somehow Joe Biden was not even a cameo appearance.”

  64. CTCompromise says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the police report of Candy Crawley being arrested at a theatre under the “Pee Wee Herman” statute. (‘Gotta’ love equality!)

  65. Terry_Jim says:

    The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’
    …the Seal Team doesn’t spend the entire trip to Osama’s compound raving and high-fiveing each other about what a ‘Gutsy Call’ Obama made.

  66. Terry_Jim says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    the seal team stopped for a Mango Squishee at the Abbotabad Qwikee Mart
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/31355566@N06/4068901892/sizes/l/in/photostream/
    and carried Osama’s corpse in ‘Weekend At Bernie’s ‘ style.

  67. Terry_Jim says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    Tim Conway was great as the shuffling old man guarding the compound.

  68. Terry_Jim says:

    The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    some of Osama’s wives WEREN’T goats.

  69. Matt Musson says:

    When the leader of SEAL Team 6 closed his transmission to the White House with the words, “You’re next.”

  70. Dohtimes says:

    …the scene in the Situation Room where before Obama stands up he grabs a roll of single ply toilet paper and nobody gets fired when his butt gets chafed.

  71. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    [...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty”…” [...]

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