Straight Line of the Day: The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…

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The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…

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  1. …is that it still was able to reveal some secrets about the operation that hadn’t already been leaked to, and published in, the NY Times.

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  2. Rodney Dill did not write the screenplay…

    because he was too busy posting on IMAO and rewriting
    the stage version of Camelot.

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  3. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was how easily the SEaLs could distinguish the hippies from the terrorists. Note to U.S. Navy: They’re ALL terrorists!!

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  4. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’… were the credits at the end where Obama’s director friend thanks Al Qaeda for its support and unfettered access.

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  5. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing Obama look up from his putt when SEaL Team 6 reports Bin Laden is dead.

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  6. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing Morgan Freeman and Jamie Foxx playing Bin Laden’s wives.

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  7. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing the actor playing Matt Bissonnette kill Bin Laden, then look at the camera, wink and say, “Gutsy call, Mr. President. We couldn’t have found him without you and Uncle Joe leading us.”

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  8. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was at the end of the movie where the “Indiana Jones”-style plane trip map that shows SEaL Team 6’s helicopter landing in Gaza.

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  9. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that all the U.S. military personnel portrayed were wearing North Korean and Chi-Com uniforms.

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  10. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that the U.S. flags on the SEaL team’s uniforms were upside down.

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  11. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was hearing “Strutter” by KISS play in the background every time the actress playing Secretary of State Clinton entered a room.

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  12. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…were the cutaway shots of President Obama personally writing condolence letters every time a terrorist was shot by a SEaL.

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  13. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when Obama led the frightened SEaL team through the compound while yelling, “C’mon, you S.O.Bs! You want to live forever!!”

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  14. …that Seal Team Six is actually a group of humanoid avatars that Obama and staff entered to kill Bin Laden.

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  15. …was the final scene where the SEALs are standing over OBL’s body and pull his mask off to find out it’s really Old Man Withers.

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  16. … That they were able to find someone in the middle east that Obama hasn’t bowed to…Or awkwardly groped if you include Burma

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  17. …was that they found a Marty Feldman lookalike to play Obama, that was not the real Obama!

    …was all the time Michelle apparently spends scrapbooking articles about Michelle.

    …is that the location of the compound was learned by waterboarding a duck.

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  18. …was the secret plan hatched to get Obama off the golf course by telling him the raid was the one planned for the ranch outside Crawford Texas.

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  19. “The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that it was financed entirely by George Soros P.A.C. money

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  20. “The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the disclaimer at the end that “No animals were hurt in the filming of this movie”.

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  21. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that all the weapons used were donated through the Fast & Furious program.

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  22. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is when Obama and Biden change into their Superhero costumes while sliding down their poles into the Bat Cave…er, War Room.

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  23. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    …was when the credits claimed Obama as Director and Producer with the United State as the Financiers.

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  24. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the careful product placement throughout it, like the Colt M-4s, the Beretta 92’s, the ITT Gen4 night vision goggles, the Point Blank Body Armor, Inc. body armor, the Danner combat boots, the….

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  25. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when the SEaLs burst in on Bin Laden and catch him on the toilet with Newsweek’s Obama centerfold and a bottle of hand lotion.

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  26. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is that any time one of the actors utters the words “President Obama” the soundtrack punctuates it with audio of Chris Matthews having an orgasm.

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  27. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is that the actors actually keep straight faces.

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  28. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is the scene where he opens his mail and there’s an invitation from Debbie Wasserman Schultz for him to introduce Obama at the Democratic National Convention.

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  29. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is the bedroom scene where Bin Laden’s wife drops her burkha and it’s Candy Crowley.

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  30. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when they searched Bin Laden’s room they found his Katz’s Deli frequent buyer card, four still-warm bagels with whitefish and schmear, and a half-eaten jar of gefilte fish.

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  31. “The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that somehow Joe Biden was not even a cameo appearance.”

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  32. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the police report of Candy Crawley being arrested at a theatre under the “Pee Wee Herman” statute. (‘Gotta’ love equality!)

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  33. The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’
    …the Seal Team doesn’t spend the entire trip to Osama’s compound raving and high-fiveing each other about what a ‘Gutsy Call’ Obama made.

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  34. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    Tim Conway was great as the shuffling old man guarding the compound.

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  35. The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
    some of Osama’s wives WEREN’T goats.

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  36. When the leader of SEAL Team 6 closed his transmission to the White House with the words, “You’re next.”

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  37. …the scene in the Situation Room where before Obama stands up he grabs a roll of single ply toilet paper and nobody gets fired when his butt gets chafed.

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  38. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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