Straight Line of the Day: The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
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(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
November 27th, 2012 at 12:07 pm
…is that Obama DIDN’T actually pull the trigger.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
…is that “Zero Dark Thirty” was actually Osama bin Laden’s pet nickname for Obama.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:13 pm
The ‘Zero’ in the title actually refers to Joe Biden.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
When they asked Hillary Clinton to come to the situation room to ‘watch the SEAL show,’ she initially thought they were watching Animal Planet.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Obama said, “I should get 2 and 1/2 hours more sleep…. I thought these calls came at 3:00 AM.”
November 27th, 2012 at 12:17 pm
…is that it still was able to reveal some secrets about the operation that hadn’t already been leaked to, and published in, the NY Times.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:17 pm
The SEAL Team’s first landing site was actually a mock-up of the town of Rock Ridge.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:19 pm
They’d forgotten to bring the manual to the ‘Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.’
November 27th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
“Zero Dark Thirty” is actually a racist code word.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
The SEAL team all shouting “LEEEROY JENKINS!!!” as they ran into the compound.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
It was going to be called ‘Zero Dark Eleven’ until Nigel Tufnel decided he wanted the knob to go all the way to 30.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Osama had actually been hiding in David Koresh old compound in Waco, not Pakistan.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Al Qaeda is still alive and GM is still dying.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:28 pm
None of the SEAL team actually remembered to be inside the giant wood rabbit.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
… that they showed trailers for “The Path to 9/11 part 2″ in the coming attractions.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
The Obama “HOPE” poster on the wall of Osama’s bedroom.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:38 pm
…was the fight to the death between GM and BL (Bin Ladin)
November 27th, 2012 at 12:38 pm
…the shot of Paul Krugman running out the back door as the SEALs ran in.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Rodney Dill did not write the screenplay…
because he was too busy posting on IMAO and rewriting
the stage version of Camelot.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Osama’s guards at his compound were all wearing red Star Trek tunics.
November 27th, 2012 at 12:56 pm
@Matt Musson:
November 27th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
…was seeing Obama greet his brother Osama before killing him.
November 27th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Osama and Obama are NOT the same person.
November 27th, 2012 at 1:14 pm
Osama’s compound turned out to just be the local Abbottabad 7-Eleven.
November 27th, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Osama’s last utterance, ‘Rosebud.’
November 27th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
The town was actually in the 21st century and only appeared to be in the 8th.
November 27th, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Osama turned out to be Sylar.
November 27th, 2012 at 2:23 pm
…Bin Laden is depicted as a Christian in order to not offend Muslims.
November 27th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
…when batman took of his mask and said, “220, 221, whatever it takes.”
(I think my Mixed-Meme-mometer just exploded)
November 27th, 2012 at 3:33 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was how easily the SEaLs could distinguish the hippies from the terrorists. Note to U.S. Navy: They’re ALL terrorists!!
November 27th, 2012 at 3:35 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’… were the credits at the end where Obama’s director friend thanks Al Qaeda for its support and unfettered access.
November 27th, 2012 at 3:38 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing Obama look up from his putt when SEaL Team 6 reports Bin Laden is dead.
November 27th, 2012 at 3:42 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing Morgan Freeman and Jamie Foxx playing Bin Laden’s wives.
November 27th, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Osama is one
Of the Final Five Cylons…
I mean, What the Frack!
November 27th, 2012 at 3:52 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was seeing the actor playing Matt Bissonnette kill Bin Laden, then look at the camera, wink and say, “Gutsy call, Mr. President. We couldn’t have found him without you and Uncle Joe leading us.”
November 27th, 2012 at 3:55 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was at the end of the movie where the “Indiana Jones”-style plane trip map that shows SEaL Team 6′s helicopter landing in Gaza.
November 27th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that all the U.S. military personnel portrayed were wearing North Korean and Chi-Com uniforms.
November 27th, 2012 at 3:59 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that the U.S. flags on the SEaL team’s uniforms were upside down.
November 27th, 2012 at 4:01 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was hearing “Strutter” by KISS play in the background every time the actress playing Secretary of State Clinton entered a room.
November 27th, 2012 at 4:03 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…were the cutaway shots of President Obama personally writing condolence letters every time a terrorist was shot by a SEaL.
November 27th, 2012 at 4:07 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when Obama led the frightened SEaL team through the compound while yelling, “C’mon, you S.O.Bs! You want to live forever!!”
November 27th, 2012 at 4:16 pm
…that Seal Team Six is actually a group of humanoid avatars that Obama and staff entered to kill Bin Laden.
November 27th, 2012 at 4:48 pm
…was the final scene where the SEALs are standing over OBL’s body and pull his mask off to find out it’s really Old Man Withers.
November 27th, 2012 at 5:38 pm
… That they were able to find someone in the middle east that Obama hasn’t bowed to…Or awkwardly groped if you include Burma
November 27th, 2012 at 6:18 pm
… Stewie following around fat people with a tuba.
November 27th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
When R. Lee Ermey tells Obama to ‘Go back to Mamby-Pamby land, ya Jack wagon.’
November 27th, 2012 at 7:06 pm
…was that they found a Marty Feldman lookalike to play Obama, that was not the real Obama!
…was all the time Michelle apparently spends scrapbooking articles about Michelle.
…is that the location of the compound was learned by waterboarding a duck.
November 27th, 2012 at 7:10 pm
…was the secret plan hatched to get Obama off the golf course by telling him the raid was the one planned for the ranch outside Crawford Texas.
November 27th, 2012 at 7:16 pm
…was using Obama’s name in the title, not sure who Dark and Thirty are though.
November 27th, 2012 at 7:26 pm
“The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that it was financed entirely by George Soros P.A.C. money
November 27th, 2012 at 7:27 pm
“The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the disclaimer at the end that “No animals were hurt in the filming of this movie”.
November 27th, 2012 at 7:30 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that all the weapons used were donated through the Fast & Furious program.
November 27th, 2012 at 7:35 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is when Obama and Biden change into their Superhero costumes while sliding down their poles into the Bat Cave…er, War Room.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:00 pm
@52: That was good… Oh so gooooooddd….
November 27th, 2012 at 8:08 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
…was when the credits claimed Obama as Director and Producer with the United State as the Financiers.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the careful product placement throughout it, like the Colt M-4s, the Beretta 92′s, the ITT Gen4 night vision goggles, the Point Blank Body Armor, Inc. body armor, the Danner combat boots, the….
November 27th, 2012 at 8:12 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when the SEaLs burst in on Bin Laden and catch him on the toilet with Newsweek’s Obama centerfold and a bottle of hand lotion.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:20 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is that any time one of the actors utters the words “President Obama” the soundtrack punctuates it with audio of Chris Matthews having an orgasm.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:24 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is that the actors actually keep straight faces.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:28 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is the scene where he opens his mail and there’s an invitation from Debbie Wasserman Schultz for him to introduce Obama at the Democratic National Convention.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:30 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…is the bedroom scene where Bin Laden’s wife drops her burkha and it’s Candy Crowley.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:46 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was when they searched Bin Laden’s room they found his Katz’s Deli frequent buyer card, four still-warm bagels with whitefish and schmear, and a half-eaten jar of gefilte fish.
November 27th, 2012 at 9:13 pm
“The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was that somehow Joe Biden was not even a cameo appearance.”
November 27th, 2012 at 9:19 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…was the police report of Candy Crawley being arrested at a theatre under the “Pee Wee Herman” statute. (‘Gotta’ love equality!)
November 27th, 2012 at 9:58 pm
The most surprising thing in the Bin Laden movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’
…the Seal Team doesn’t spend the entire trip to Osama’s compound raving and high-fiveing each other about what a ‘Gutsy Call’ Obama made.
November 27th, 2012 at 10:02 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
the seal team stopped for a Mango Squishee at the Abbotabad Qwikee Mart
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31355566@N06/4068901892/sizes/l/in/photostream/
and carried Osama’s corpse in ‘Weekend At Bernie’s ‘ style.
November 27th, 2012 at 10:05 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
Tim Conway was great as the shuffling old man guarding the compound.
November 27th, 2012 at 10:13 pm
The Most Surprising Thing in the Bin Laden Movie ‘Zero Dark Thirty’…
some of Osama’s wives WEREN’T goats.
November 28th, 2012 at 8:50 am
When the leader of SEAL Team 6 closed his transmission to the White House with the words, “You’re next.”
November 28th, 2012 at 11:39 am
…the scene in the Situation Room where before Obama stands up he grabs a roll of single ply toilet paper and nobody gets fired when his butt gets chafed.
November 28th, 2012 at 9:06 pm
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