Straight Line of the Day: The White House Released a New iPhone App…

Posted on November 29, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The White House released a new iPhone app…

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

43 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The White House Released a New iPhone App…”

  1. FormerHostage says:

    …that will require 128GB.

  2. Mxymaster says:

    …that directly funnels money from your bank accounts to the federal government.

  3. rodney dill says:

    Increase taxes, don’t cut spending? There’s an app for that.

  4. rodney dill says:

    The White House Released a New iPhone App… to make Boehner cry.

  5. Chris Graham says:

    …that helps the user locate the nearest condom distributor.

  6. rodney dill says:

    The White House Released a New iPhone App…that sends minutes in your plan to people with Obamaphones.

  7. SOYLENT GREEN says:

    iSwipe: deposits your paycheck directly with the IRS, eliminating that pesky banking middleman.

  8. Chris Graham says:

    …that progressively increases your phone bill each month until you’re forced to drop your plan and buy an Obama Phone.

  9. rodney dill says:

    The White House Released a New iPhone App…that provides directions to the nearest dog pounds, dog parks and pet stores… and cooking directions.

  10. DamnCat says:

    It’s the Joe Biden Quote Generator! It assembles random sentences from a stored list of offensive and/or bizarre words & phrases – just like Joe does!

  11. rodney dill says:

    The White House Released a New iPhone App… the iRule.

  12. Eric Praline says:

    …every time you do something wrong, it automatically sends Susan Rice out to lie to everyone about it.

  13. Eric Praline says:

    …called Jay Carney Games.

  14. g says:

    … It identifies different breeds of dogs and recommends proper wine to accompany them.

  15. tedwade73 says:

    … that notifies you when any given promise of the president’s reaches its expiration date.

  16. Seanmom says:

    That lets you send a text to your Congressman and Senators 5x a day reminding them to face Mecca and pray. Basic for free. Premium includes alert tone of prettiest sound on earth–the Muslim call to prayer.

  17. g says:

    no one has ripped off the simpsons yet so i may as well:

    … It consists of a single button labeled SUBMIT

  18. Professor Hale says:

    It gives th user a direct line to send complaints, compliments, and good ideas to an unmonitored inbox where it can be properly ignored.

  19. Soggy says:

    Gives voice directions to the nearest abortion provider, and a two for the price of one coupon.

  20. Marc says:

    Takes your unused minutes are redistributes them to others that have squandered their own.

  21. tomg51 says:

    …that alerts you if you hold the phone upside down.

  22. rodney dill says:

    …it gives you a false Native American lineage and name… (e.g. Dances with wookies.)

  23. rodney dill says:

    …Provides you information on correctly using all the racist code words.

  24. rodney dill says:

    …has a proximity detector and alarm for whenever Joe Biden is approaching. (MALARKY MALARKY MALARKY!)

  25. rodney dill says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app… that blames Bush.

  26. rodney dill says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app… that makes the Obama Administration totally transparent… the bugs are expected to be worked out in the next version available early 2017.

  27. rodney dill says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app… the iPhoney

  28. Scott says:

    It works in four different languages; English, Spanish, Wookie and Klingon.

  29. Scott says:

    It requires you to buy a larger SD card, because it calculates the national debt in real time, and 32GB is the minimum required to display a number that large.

  30. CTCompromise says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app…to replace the old mapping app. Unfortunately, it just keeps telling you to go left.

  31. CTCompromise says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app…unfortunately, since it was a government program, the app was designed in China, built in Canada, cost millions of dollars to develop, and is not compatible with Apple products.

  32. Dohtimes says:

    …that does nothing but calculate how much the app is costing taxpayers.

    …which helps you distinguish a black hole 17 billion times larger than the sun from Michelle’s big Bertha Butt Bootay.

    …that lets you make a charitable donation to the IRS in lieu of flowers for the funeral services being held for The United States Of America preceding Obama’s second inauguration.

  33. Dohtimes says:

    #11 Rodney, does that one update the iWon?

  34. askmeificare says:

    The White House Released a New iPhone App… It costs way too much, is inefficient and no one wants it.

  35. Writer says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app…
    that offers quotes from Marx and Chaiman Mao every time it rings.

  36. 1Richard says:

    requires minimum 16 bit but only works on 32.

  37. Writer says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app…
    that balances your checkbook using the Proprietary Obama Budget transferring all valuables to the Federal Government.
    that reports every mutter of Obama’s name to the thought police.
    that causes the Calculater App to malfunction.
    that balways points to Mecca.
    that explains all Welfare Options for the individual.

  38. Bad Science says:

    The White House released a new iPhone app… the I-Waffle!
    If Obama is off prompter, it synchs up everybody’s iPhone to dramatic, but pointless news story videos that play automatically at full volume. It is like a cloaking device for Obama’s inability to form even a single thought into words in public.
    Oh, wait, the commercial news media already does that. Never mind.

  39. Special Ed says:

    You can download it on Google play.

  40. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …when you dial 911, it automatically sends out a press release saying your emergency is a result of you doing something that insulted Islam.

  41. CarolyntheMommy says:

    …. Angry Dems

    …. Angry Chicks

    …. Hippie Punching With Friends

    …. Whack a Fluk

  42. rodney dill says:

    …but you still can’t use it on the Tarmac… sorry Alec.

  43. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The White House released a new iPhone App…” […]

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>