Comments on: Straight Line of the Day: The White House Released a New iPhone App…

By: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 22:53:46 +0000

[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The White House released a new iPhone App…” [...]

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 14:15:36 +0000

…but you still can’t use it on the Tarmac… sorry Alec.

By: CarolyntheMommy

CarolyntheMommy — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 14:01:01 +0000

…. Angry Dems

…. Angry Chicks

…. Hippie Punching With Friends

…. Whack a Fluk

By: Bob in Feenicks

Bob in Feenicks — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 05:28:18 +0000

…when you dial 911, it automatically sends out a press release saying your emergency is a result of you doing something that insulted Islam.

By: Special Ed

Special Ed — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 02:17:08 +0000

You can download it on Google play.

By: Bad Science

Bad Science — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 01:18:24 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app… the I-Waffle!
If Obama is off prompter, it synchs up everybody’s iPhone to dramatic, but pointless news story videos that play automatically at full volume. It is like a cloaking device for Obama’s inability to form even a single thought into words in public.
Oh, wait, the commercial news media already does that. Never mind.

By: Writer

Writer — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 00:38:41 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app…
that balances your checkbook using the Proprietary Obama Budget transferring all valuables to the Federal Government.
that reports every mutter of Obama’s name to the thought police.
that causes the Calculater App to malfunction.
that balways points to Mecca.
that explains all Welfare Options for the individual.

By: 1Richard

1Richard — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 00:32:26 +0000

requires minimum 16 bit but only works on 32.

By: Writer

Writer — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 00:31:34 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app…
that offers quotes from Marx and Chaiman Mao every time it rings.

By: askmeificare

askmeificare — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 22:53:28 +0000

The White House Released a New iPhone App… It costs way too much, is inefficient and no one wants it.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 22:48:13 +0000

#11 Rodney, does that one update the iWon?

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 22:44:25 +0000

…that does nothing but calculate how much the app is costing taxpayers.

…which helps you distinguish a black hole 17 billion times larger than the sun from Michelle’s big Bertha Butt Bootay.

…that lets you make a charitable donation to the IRS in lieu of flowers for the funeral services being held for The United States Of America preceding Obama’s second inauguration.

By: CTCompromise

CTCompromise — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 21:48:29 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app…unfortunately, since it was a government program, the app was designed in China, built in Canada, cost millions of dollars to develop, and is not compatible with Apple products.

By: CTCompromise

CTCompromise — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 21:44:59 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app…to replace the old mapping app. Unfortunately, it just keeps telling you to go left.

By: Scott

Scott — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:38:46 +0000

It requires you to buy a larger SD card, because it calculates the national debt in real time, and 32GB is the minimum required to display a number that large.

By: Scott

Scott — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:36:55 +0000

It works in four different languages; English, Spanish, Wookie and Klingon.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:23:06 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app… the iPhoney

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:19:46 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app… that makes the Obama Administration totally transparent… the bugs are expected to be worked out in the next version available early 2017.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:18:33 +0000

The White House released a new iPhone app… that blames Bush.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:57:03 +0000

…has a proximity detector and alarm for whenever Joe Biden is approaching. (MALARKY MALARKY MALARKY!)

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:54:51 +0000

…Provides you information on correctly using all the racist code words.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:45:09 +0000

…it gives you a false Native American lineage and name… (e.g. Dances with wookies.)

By: tomg51

tomg51 — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:42:59 +0000

…that alerts you if you hold the phone upside down.

By: Marc

Marc — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:26:11 +0000

Takes your unused minutes are redistributes them to others that have squandered their own.

By: Soggy

Soggy — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:11:14 +0000

Gives voice directions to the nearest abortion provider, and a two for the price of one coupon.