Video Games: What’s the Wii U?

So Michelle Obama was told about the Wii U by a kid and had no idea what it was. And while I like to make fun of Michelle Obama because she’s an awful person married to a doof, I really can’t blame her here. I mean, I got pretty much every Nintendo console since the NES right when it came out, but I just don’t get why I would want this Wii U.

First off, the name is stupid. I mean, Wii was stupid, but you at least understood that was a new Nintendo console. This one just sounds like it’s an educational game for the Wii. And from the ads, you might even just think it’s a new gamepad with a screen on it you buy for the Wii rather than a whole new console. So Michelle Obama’s confusion isn’t just because she’s stupid and I hate her.

Second, instead of being nextgen, it looks like it may have just finally caught Nintendo up with current gen… if that. For a while, I bought Nintendo’s “gameplay over graphics” argument about the Wii, but at some point not having HD output started seeming archaic (and it didn’t even support 5.1 surround sound — what is that, like a thirty cent chip now?). So now we’ve got an HD Wii, but how will it compare to the nextgen of Sony and Microsoft? And I saw for the new Madden game, there’s this new physics engine in the XBox 360 and PS3 versions, but it’s missing from the Wii U. Was it not powerful enough to pull it off versus current gen? And that’s not just a graphics thing; less computation power for physics could affect gameplay in other games. Anyway, I’m just afraid that the Wii U will be left far behind when the other companies get out their nextgen and once again I’ll see all the big new games not available or in a really scaled down version for Nintendo.

Thirdly, there’s no worthwhile games out for it. New side scrolling Mario games just seem… well… “cute” to me, but not something I want to run out and get. And much of the other games premiering for the Wii U are just games that were already out for a while on the other systems. Eventually they’ll put out a new Zelda game and then I’ll probably finally buy the stupid thing (unless, for the first time ever, Nintendo screws up a Zelda game — well maybe second time since Zelda II), but there’s just nothing compelling to get for it right now.

So, I’m in a wait and see attitude on the Wii U. Plus, overall I think I’m just less compelled to buy an expensive console and pay $60 a game when I can just snatch up good deals on Steam for my PC and buy $3 games for my iPad.

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  1. Thus far, The Wii U is mainly ports of older games, a stupid controller, a stupid name, and cutesy first-party Nintendo franchises like Mario. I’ll pass.


  2. Is it just me? Whenever I hear “Wii U”, I picture a Japanese university where Nintendo programmers go to learn how to code.



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