When Turkeys Attack!

Residents of Brookline, Massachusetts are reporting increasing incidents of wild turkey attacks.

Well, obviously someone must’ve posted “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” on YouTube.

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  1. Is this a sign of A Coming Apocalypse?
    Are wild turkeys The Harbingers Of Doom?
    Are they The BeComeDeath, Destroyer of Worlds?
    Have they too, seen the Mayan Calendar and said to themselves : ” Yo’, Why the Eff not “?
    …or do they just find MassHoles that friggen’ attractive compared to what they already mate with, and they’re just trying to ‘get them some strange’……Could this just be a Wild Turkey mating dance and we don’t know the steps?
    So many questions and so little understanding. Who knows how to ‘talk turkey’…?


  2. It stems from all the now well-to-do old-Hippie/neo-Hippie/eco-nutter types with their compost/garbage heaps that they’ve set up in the side yards that draws all manner of flea-bit woodland critters.

    Joe Perry (yeah, that Joe Perry) who lives down the road in Chestnut Hill, when he’s not off making noise, likes to shoot them with a crossbow. He used to take potshots with his handguns, but officers from the BPD, reeking of patchouli, made the shame, shame finger-scrape in his general direction from the bottom of his lengthy driveway and told him, over his intercom, Joe, guns are bad, m’kay?

    So Joe switched to archery for the urban wildfowl, and saves his hollowpoints for troublemakers who try to scale the fence around his property.



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