Comments on: When Turkeys Attack!

By: Bunkerhillbilly

Bunkerhillbilly — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 01:46:28 +0000

It stems from all the now well-to-do old-Hippie/neo-Hippie/eco-nutter types with their compost/garbage heaps that they've set up in the side yards that draws all manner of flea-bit woodland critters. Joe Perry (yeah, that Joe Perry) who lives down the road in Chestnut Hill, when he's not off making noise, likes to shoot them with a crossbow. He used to take potshots with his handguns, but officers from the BPD, reeking of patchouli, made the shame, shame finger-scrape in his general direction from the bottom of his lengthy driveway and told him, over his intercom, Joe, guns are bad, m'kay? So Joe switched to archery for the urban wildfowl, and saves his hollowpoints for troublemakers who try to scale the fence around his property.

By: zzyzx

zzyzx — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 21:41:32 +0000

I would think the people of Massachusetts would be used to these attacks, being as their state is pretty much run by turkeys.

By: apostic

apostic — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:01:29 +0000

As I said when the Drudge picked up the story a week ago: “Misters Carlson and Tarkek, you’re needed.”

By: FormerHostage

FormerHostage — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:24:19 +0000

…as God is my witness…

By: Uncle Kevvie, That's Who

Uncle Kevvie, That's Who — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:16:31 +0000

Is this a sign of A Coming Apocalypse?
Are wild turkeys The Harbingers Of Doom?
Are they The BeComeDeath, Destroyer of Worlds?
Have they too, seen the Mayan Calendar and said to themselves : ” Yo’, Why the Eff not “?
…or do they just find MassHoles that friggen’ attractive compared to what they already mate with, and they’re just trying to ‘get them some strange’……Could this just be a Wild Turkey mating dance and we don’t know the steps?
So many questions and so little understanding. Who knows how to ‘talk turkey’…?

By: CarolyntheMommy

CarolyntheMommy — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 04:49:38 +0000

Man oh man – even the turkeys are revolting over Warren.

By: CarolyntheMommy

CarolyntheMommy — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 04:48:53 +0000

And as we New Englanders say (real New Englanders – west of Hartford doesn’t count):

Gahbble, Gahbble!

By: 4of7

4of7 — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 04:12:19 +0000

Shades of South Park!
“Every Turkey dies, not every Turkey truly lives!” – Chef.