Did You Get YOUR Stimulus Package?
[High Praise! to VW (via email)]
Just wanted to let you know – today I received my 2013 Social Security Stimulus Package. It contained two tomato seeds, cornbread mix, two discount coupons to KFC, an “Obama Hope & Change” bumper sticker, a prayer rug, a machine to blow smoke up my ass and a “Blame it on Bush” poster for the front yard. The directions were in Spanish. Yours should arrive soon.
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(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
December 12th, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Harvey, You didn’t get the memo. Michelle has disallowed the KFC coupon, but she’d like you to send it back so she can use it. She’ll be sending you a new coupon for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Tofu.
December 12th, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Nope. Haven’t gotten it yet. But I know what she looks like: about 5’5″, 120 lbs, green eyes, reddish-brown hair, IQ of 140+, a Conservative and with a smile that melts brick.
December 12th, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Yep, by the time I get my Obamacare-mandated colonoscopy I should have colon cancer from all the smoke blown up there by these people.
December 12th, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Fried chicken, cornbread, and tomatoes? Wow that’s racist.
Black people eat tomatoes, right?
December 13th, 2012 at 12:54 pm
I eat fried chicken and cornbread.