Did You Get YOUR Stimulus Package?

Posted on December 12, 2012 2:00 pm

[High Praise! to VW (via email)]

Just wanted to let you know – today I received my 2013 Social Security Stimulus Package. It contained two tomato seeds, cornbread mix, two discount coupons to KFC, an “Obama Hope & Change” bumper sticker, a prayer rug, a machine to blow smoke up my ass and a “Blame it on Bush” poster for the front yard. The directions were in Spanish. Yours should arrive soon.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

5 Responses to “Did You Get YOUR Stimulus Package?”

  1. Son of Bob says:

    Harvey, You didn’t get the memo. Michelle has disallowed the KFC coupon, but she’d like you to send it back so she can use it. She’ll be sending you a new coupon for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Tofu.

  2. Jimmy says:

    Nope. Haven’t gotten it yet. But I know what she looks like: about 5’5″, 120 lbs, green eyes, reddish-brown hair, IQ of 140+, a Conservative and with a smile that melts brick.

  3. Mxymaster says:

    Yep, by the time I get my Obamacare-mandated colonoscopy I should have colon cancer from all the smoke blown up there by these people.

  4. Westing1992 says:

    Fried chicken, cornbread, and tomatoes? Wow that’s racist.

    Black people eat tomatoes, right?

  5. Basil says:

    I eat fried chicken and cornbread.

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>