Frank J. 2016: My VP

Posted on December 6, 2012 1:00 pm

As I’m just starting to figure out my campaign for the presidency, it may seem early to think of a running mate, but I already have one in mind: Fire.

Yes, Fire will be my VP if I’m president, and its task will be to cut down the federal government. And thus I will unleash it on Washington D.C. and have it tear down government buildings as it feels necessary. If people don’t like all the government cuts it will be making, then don’t cry to me — tell it to Fire. Maybe it will listen to your whines and complaints.

And while Fire is doing it’s work in D.C., I’ll say out of its way. Instead of the White House, I’ll just stay at a Best Western somewhere in Virginia — nothing too fancy; we’re trying to cut government spending.

Frank J. 2016: Fire walk with me.

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17 Responses to “Frank J. 2016: My VP”

  1. Basil says:

    You’re serious about cutting spending, right, and not just blowing smoke?

  2. Silverfiddle says:

    Sorry Frank, but Fire For President!

  3. slapout says:

    I still think Awesomeness should be your VP.

  4. Pug Mahon says:

    Cue the Angelo Badalamenti music.

  5. Tim says:

    Burning the Obamacare law could be an eternal flame.

  6. tim3048 says:

    Luckily you won’t have to prove fire was born in the US, but you will have to deal with fire birthers

  7. Harvey says:

    @6 – “you will have to deal with fire birthers”

    I believe those are called “combustioners”

  8. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Let me interject a bit of unsolicited advice. I love the Frank J. for president stuff, and I understand the humor of it, but I really think that you should keep it on that edge of “Is this guy for real? I think he may very well be.” Fire for VP puts it fully into the category of Just Kidding. I think all of this works well if people really cant tell if you are serious or not.

    That is probably the first time I have ever posted anything here that did not attempt to be funny. No more Robitussin for me.

  9. Genghis Khen says:

    Will Beavis be your Whitehouse Correspondant?

  10. Jimmy says:

    “Frank J. 2016: Fire walk with me.”

    Walk with me, talk with me… burn with me!

    Hey, ouch! That’s HOT!

  11. La Longue Carabine says:

    Asteroid impact involves both fire and water and will clean out the “swamp” right now, right away, right on!

    Water? Aquaman. ‘Nuf said.

  12. Vaktatunnen says:

    Fire walk with me, huh? So does that mean you have room in your administration for a creepy dwarf who fidgets around and talks backwards? Because I think he’s already got a job as mayor of New York.

  13. Jimmy says:

    Frank’s plan is clearly consistent with the phrase that’s going around the Conservative blogosphere:

    “Let it burn.”

    That phrase is not to be confused with the 60’s hippie phrase, “Burn, baby, burn” which, of course, reflected how much hippies hated themselves (as babies) which lead to such things as Roe v. Wade, “The fire next time,” and “The Towering Inferno.”

    BTW, if Fire is your V.P., Frank, you need a WASP with a big stinger for Attorney General.

  14. Jimmy says:

    Also, Frank, while you’re at it, will you PLEASE burn all the phony “Federal Reserve Notes” and the FED, as well? Then you can institute a U.S. Treasury-controlled “United States Bank” that won’t print political money.

  15. Penultimatum says:

    Frank J. 2016: Let It Burn.

  16. CTCompromise says:

    What cabinet posts do the other 2 members of the band get?

  17. jw says:

    boy was i wrong. i guessed chuck norris for vp.

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