“This is Shaniqua. Shaniqua lives in a project in Chicago. Last week one of Shaniqua’s boyfriends threw her iPhone through the screen of her 47inch plasma screen TV in a fit of rage. Tragically Shaniqua’s six children have no way to play their XBox and are forced to play their Nintendo DS systems while she worries how she is going to be able to text all her friends. With your generous and forced donation you can help get Shaniqua the necessities of life. Manicures, free healthcare, better food than you, constant entertainment and help enable her next boyfriend to sit on his ass all day playing Grand Theft Auto. Act now, our agents are standing by to confiscate your money now.”