Should’ve built a B-Ark

Posted on December 20, 2012 9:00 am

Just in case you hadn’t heard, the world is ending tomorrow.

No, really. I read it on the Internet somewhere, so it’s true. And, so have a lot of other people, it seems.

NASA is getting a bunch of calls from people who want to know about the world ending. It’s taking up so much of NASA’s time that they can’t go about their primary mission of Muslim outreach. Well, that, and not being able to send people into space anymore.

NASA has even made a movie to help stop the calls. It’s titled “Why the world didn’t end yesterday” and is supposed to be shown on Saturday. Which really doesn’t stop the calls leading up to Friday. Maybe that backwards line of thinking is why they can’t go into space. Of course, it should help with Muslim outreach. At least, with Muslims in other countries. The ones in this country kinda shake their head at other countries, too.

Anyway, NASA is answering the phone and telling people that it’s all okay and the world won’t end. I think that’s a mistake. They should tell them that the world is going to end.

Caller: “Hello, NASA? I saw that the world will end Friday. Is that right?”

NASA: “Yes, ma’am, that’s correct. We’re doomed. That’s why we’re not sending people into space anymore. There’s no reason. We’re just sitting back, waiting for the world to end. Have a nice day.”

Or

Caller: “Hey, what’s the truth about the Mayan apocalypse?

NASA: “Yes, sir. The planets are all going to line up with the stars and that will cause the earth to capsize just like Guam did. A lot of people will fall off. The lucky ones will land on Mars or the moon, but most of us will just fall away into space. Thank you for calling.”

See what fun that could be? All the stupid people will panic and, oh, I don’t know, do something stupid, but if we all just kinda let them, we’ll weed out all the idiots, and the rest of us will be able to make a go of things.

If only the Mayans had predicted this would happen before the November election.

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8 Responses to “Should’ve built a B-Ark”

  1. Apostic says:

    Heh. “B” Ark. Yeah, it was a missed opportunity.

  2. Jimmy says:

    Caller: “My kids are scared. What should I tell them?”

    NASA: “The Earth is going flip over during a dreaded “pole shift” and dump all the little people into space. So, hold on tight!”

  3. Kevin B says:

    NASA is smart making a film to show on Saturday to explain that the world didn’t end on Friday.

    If they showed a movie on Thursday explaining that the world won’t end tomorrow and it did, then people would sue and then they couldn’t afford to reach out to space or muslims or whoever.

  4. Marc says:

    This myth that NASA ever had anything to do with putting people into space is just racist! Let me be clear, their mission is, and always has been, Muslim outreach.

  5. Grand Larsen E. says:

    Who the hell is the guy in the tub? Is that Tenille’s Captain?

  6. Basil says:

    Grand:

    You don’t recognize the Golgafrincham captain? From The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Oh, well. Don’t panic. Grab your towel and things will all work out.

  7. Grand Larsen E. says:

    Thanks. I am enlightened.

  8. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Are you sure that guy in the photo isn’t that whiney poove, Richard Simmons, doing his Mincing To The Oldies Norwegian Cruise thing?

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