Comments on: Straight Line of the Day: If Chosen As Secretary of State, John Kerry…

By: Beagle

Beagle — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 01:51:09 +0000

Will finally be eligible to get hims a huntin’ license.

By: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 00:49:56 +0000

[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “If chosen as Secretary of State, John Kerry…” [...]

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 23:02:17 +0000

…will get ridden Gangnam style and put away wet.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 17:41:52 +0000

…it means Obama took the advice of picking someone who could work it like a government mule only on his appearance. And the braying noises when his feed bag is empty.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 16:11:49 +0000

Indian Princess Elizabeth Warren will lose her ride.

By: tanstaafl

tanstaafl — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 16:04:58 +0000

will make us all want to “find ourselves another country to be part of.”

(pace phil ochs)

By: Bob in Feenicks

Bob in Feenicks — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 05:47:50 +0000

…will request he be paid in oats.

By: JimmyRock

JimmyRock — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 05:43:30 +0000

won’t be Secretary of Defense. So at least there’s that.

By: Kent

Kent — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 05:13:26 +0000

… will dump the ketchup queen for Jane Fonda.

By: zzyzx

zzyzx — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 04:41:16 +0000

…will recommend to Obama that Jane Fonda be placed in nomination to be the new Sec/Def….Obama will agree.

By: RAML

RAML — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 03:14:07 +0000

… will get out of someday being prosecuted, along with buddy jane fonda, for treason.

By: Writer

Writer — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 23:59:42 +0000

…will work very hard at still not remembering where his original DD-214 is.

By: Joel

Joel — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 22:50:25 +0000

Will finally be allowed to negotiate with foreign governments, including our enemies, legally. Unlike what he did in the 70′s.

By: Bob in Feenicks

Bob in Feenicks — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 22:04:08 +0000

…has heard that John Edwards is available to be Deputy Secretary of State.

By: DamnCat

DamnCat — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 21:01:34 +0000

…will be admonished by the Chinese for disparaging Genghis Kahn.

…will be admonished by the Genghis Kehn for not disparaging the Chinese.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:29:31 +0000

…will no longer have served in Vietnam, having sailed his boat into a madrasa for the duration of his service.

By: blarg

blarg — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:22:42 +0000

…will prove once and for all that Charlie DOES surf.

By: hwy93

hwy93 — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:12:45 +0000

… Will windserf up the Patomac to accept the appointment
… Will have to get a little walking around money from Tereeaaza to hold him over until his Bank of American Taxpayer card shows up in the mail.
… will still be wondering where he can get “one of them huntin permits round here.”

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:06:10 +0000

…will no longer have to push the legacy of Ted Kennedy, much as Sisyphus pushed his rock.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:04:57 +0000

If Chosen As Secretary of State, John Kerry… will ensure that Hillary is really, really missed.

By: rodney dill

rodney dill — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:03:52 +0000

…will wear a baby blue NASA clean suit as he carries out his duties

By: plentyobailouts

plentyobailouts — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:01:13 +0000

will actually make the pant suit look more ridiculous.

will be mistaken for the butler.

will get dukakis out of his tank.

will still be an inept fool

By: artvol11

artvol11 — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 19:59:45 +0000

I was going to right one but then I read #24 and I felt shamed to even try and think of something funnier.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 19:33:36 +0000

…will expand his definition of flyover country by 8000 percent.

…must first have image of Hillary removed from where it was seared, SEARED!!! into the eyes of tyrants the world over.

…will confer with Gen. Petraeus about world’s hot-spots.

By: blarg

blarg — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 19:33:01 +0000

…won’t have to rely on marrying rich widows for spending money anymore.