Straight Line of the Day: Why Did Hillary Faint Last Week?

Posted on December 18, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Why did Hillary faint last week?

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50 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Why Did Hillary Faint Last Week?”

  1. Bob Andweave says:

    That is just what old people do; other than eating dinner at 2:30 in the afternoon.

  2. Genghis Khen says:

    She was listening to one of Obama’s speeches on her iPod.

  3. Apostic says:

    She saw Michael Moore in a speedo.

  4. nightfly says:

    “Wait, I’m actually gonna skate on Benghazi? Scot-free??? Headrush….”

  5. Son of Bob says:

    …that image is even more frightening when it’s looking back at you in a mirror.

  6. DamnCat says:

    She came home one night and found Bill alone in their bed.

  7. tomg51 says:

    She did up the top button on a last years pantsuit.

  8. Jaimo says:

    She’s pregnant.

  9. tomg51 says:

    Bill had already sucked all the oxygen out of the room.

  10. Dohtimes says:

    The camel she was making suck face with turned out to be a male.

    Accidentally drank some truth serum and CIA was ordered to beat the truth out of her.

  11. rodney dill says:

    Obama had the Marine Band play ‘Hail to the Chief’ as Hillary entered the Whitehouse.

  12. Dohtimes says:

    The vacuum created when she showed up at the nude beach.

  13. rodney dill says:

    Obama told her of his secret plan to cut taxes.

    Obama told her of the plan to offer the Obamagun, free, to citizens that couldn’t afford their own gun.

  14. rodney dill says:

    …when Obama said, Ya know, I do sorta miss Bush.

  15. Javelina Bomb says:

    The sheer magnificence that is the Obama presidency is just so overwhelming.

  16. Javelina Bomb says:

    I’d faint too if I thought it could get me out of murder charges.

  17. rodney dill says:

    Joe Biden asked her to pull his finger….. and she did.

  18. rodney dill says:

    Holder announced new evidence in the murder of Vince Foster.

  19. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …somebody forgot to warn her Michelle ate that extra large bean burrito for lunch.

  20. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …the ground she was walking on turned out to be consecrated.

  21. blastit says:

    Pf, we all know she did nothing of the sort. All that really happened was that she ran out of any semblance of an excuse NOT to testify, and being honest basically blows their whole plan to smithereens.

  22. HokieGomer says:

    All the blood rushed to her cankles.

  23. blarg says:

    …she’s so slippery Death couldn’t hang on…but he gave her quite a scare

    …Al Gore blamed it on the altitude

    …she was just one of the folks that fainted when Obama starts talking

    …just realized that when she was having dinner with Obama with our new Chinese overlords she ordered shih tzu instad of mu shu

    …because Obama found her lack of faith disturbing

  24. Isophorone says:

    Jim Moran says it was an accident!

  25. Isophorone says:

    Her broomstick flew at too high of an altitude.

  26. Iowa Jim says:

    She was completely overwhelmed by the thought of Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr making love with each other.

  27. Dohtimes says:

    What Obama said only rhymed with tax the rich.

    Head that big, of course Frank J mistook it for the moon.

    “Fainted, schmainted, old white woman got between me and a tamale”: (Anonymous witness in FBI report)

  28. rodney dill says:

    She had a global hot flash

  29. rodney dill says:

    She thought she was sitting down in an empty chair, but ended up in Obama’s lap.

  30. HokieGomer says:

    She realized if she were still in the Senate, she would have been exempt from Obamacare.

  31. Jimmy says:

    She got her head stuck between her thunder thighs.

  32. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    She found out that Obama arranged for Weatherwax Kennels to cater her farewell dinner.

  33. blarg says:

    … She was told Obama plans to tax real estate investments and lucky stock picks

    … 2 words – canckle tax

  34. tomg51 says:

    Her hypnotist has programed her to faint whenever someone says Benghazi so she cannot testify.

  35. Rayfan87 says:

    She came down with a bad case of Benghazi-itis.

  36. Writer says:

    They told her she would have to testify under oath, and she is as allergic to oaths all other Demons.

  37. rodney dill says:

    Bill stopped trying to have affairs with other women and started trying to reconcile with her.

  38. blarg says:

    … Because being Secretary of State is hard!

  39. CTCompromise says:

    “She had been scheduled to testify before a pair of congressional panels looking into the Sept. 11 attack against a diplomatic outpost in Benghazi, Libya.”

  40. CTCompromise says:

    …Because the Clinton’s have used up their “Get Out of Perjury” cards.

  41. CTCompromise says:

    …apparently “crocodile tears” can cause dehydration.

  42. CTCompromise says:

    She was able to sign in to Bill’s e-mail accounts.

  43. CTCompromise says:

    2 words…”Memory Loss”.

  44. CTCompromise says:

    She saw how much more she and Bill are going to be paying in taxes.

  45. tanstaafl says:

    that’s how the maroons escape reality

  46. RAML says:

    accidentally told the truth, and no one noticed.

  47. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …she sensed millions of voices crying out in terror then suddenly silenced… and the pleasure was more than she could handle.

  48. rodney dill says:

    When she looked in a mirror she saw Jabba the Hut staring back at her.

  49. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Why did Hillary faint last week?” […]

  50. big al says:

    No. 26 aka Iowa Jim is indeed a sick and twisted person, Funny ,though.

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