Straight Line of the Day: With Every EBT Food Stamp Card, You Now Get…

Posted on December 11, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

With every EBT Food Stamp card, you now get…

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32 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: With Every EBT Food Stamp Card, You Now Get…”

  1. Genghis Khen says:

    … a “rich” person’s credit card number.

  2. rodney dill says:

    a ‘Wok Your Dog’ cookbook

  3. Richard B says:

    an Obamaphone

  4. Son of Bob says:

    …”preferred voter” status.

  5. Richard B says:

    Voter application for one dead person of their choice

  6. jw says:

    …the right to call those who paid for that card “racist”.

  7. Richard B says:

    a free round of golf lessons, taught by The One.

  8. rodney dill says:

    Eric Holder’s Fasting and Furious book of inspirational quotes…

  9. rodney dill says:

    A copy of “Chicken Soup for the Soul,” ’cause your belly ain’t gettin’ any.

  10. rodney dill says:

    A “You didn’t eat that!” commemorative wall plaque.

  11. Conservatarian says:

    …your grandchild’s paycheck.

  12. DamnCat says:

    …an Obama-phone and an international phone card so you can tell all your relatives about this great country!

  13. g says:

    … Union dues automatically deducted from said card.

  14. rodney dill says:

    A puffy woman appointee of the Obama Administration trading card — Collect them all, trade them with your friends.

  15. Mxymaster says:

    …another idiot to vote for you, Mr. Democrat!

  16. rodney dill says:

    …another day older, and deeper in debt.

  17. Apostic says:

    A cookbook by Michelle Obama. (Your tax dollars at work for someone’s royalty checks….)

  18. John says:

    A free toaster and a gay wedding.

  19. James says:

    Double stamps on Wednesday (you have to be old enough to know what I am talking about).

  20. Jimmy says:

    …a lifetime supply of one-size-fits-all condoms.

  21. rodney dill says:

    …from Slick Willie’s Candy Factory, an Everlasting Jobstopper Gumdrop

  22. Dohtimes says:

    …to wait while a hologram of Obamanikita bows to you and says thank you in the language of your choice when you check out.

    …a 50-50 chance of having a home invasion robbery by local thugs or Michelle’s food police.

    …a fork lift to get you back and forth from store to sofa.

    …a two for one coupon on all mixed breed dogs not prepared in the deli section.

  23. tanstaafl says:

    a form to sign, giving absolute power-of-attorneyover your life to the democrat party, forever.

  24. McGonzo says:

    . . . a card that reads:

    “Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that using EBT cards is dangerous to the health of your descendants.”

  25. NoMoBama says:

    A thank you card for your vote from Barry and your next ballot, already filled out with a postage paid envelope.

  26. Writer says:

    A 15% discount on all Seafood priced $8.99/lb or higher

  27. 1Richard says:

    a car previously owned by Lindsey Lohan.

  28. arik says:

    “a digital photo printed on the card, which makes your EBT card an affordable photo ID suitable for showing at your local precinct when you want to vote.”

    Oh wait. That makes sense. It’s probably racist.








  29. RAML says:


  30. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …a bonus race card.

    …a note from Nancy Pelosi thanking you for helping the economy by buying stuff with government money.

  31. rodney dill says:

    … a free pass to blame the Republicans for not giving you more.

  32. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “With every EBT Food Stamp card, you now get…” […]

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