Straight Line of the Day: With Every EBT Food Stamp Card, You Now Get…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
With every EBT Food Stamp card, you now get…
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December 11th, 2012 at 12:04 pm
… a “rich” person’s credit card number.
December 11th, 2012 at 12:05 pm
a ‘Wok Your Dog’ cookbook
December 11th, 2012 at 12:06 pm
an Obamaphone
December 11th, 2012 at 12:06 pm
…”preferred voter” status.
December 11th, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Voter application for one dead person of their choice
December 11th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
…the right to call those who paid for that card “racist”.
December 11th, 2012 at 12:17 pm
a free round of golf lessons, taught by The One.
December 11th, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Eric Holder’s Fasting and Furious book of inspirational quotes…
December 11th, 2012 at 12:28 pm
A copy of “Chicken Soup for the Soul,” ’cause your belly ain’t gettin’ any.
December 11th, 2012 at 12:29 pm
A “You didn’t eat that!” commemorative wall plaque.
December 11th, 2012 at 12:43 pm
…your grandchild’s paycheck.
December 11th, 2012 at 12:45 pm
…an Obama-phone and an international phone card so you can tell all your relatives about this great country!
December 11th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
… Union dues automatically deducted from said card.
December 11th, 2012 at 1:19 pm
A puffy woman appointee of the Obama Administration trading card — Collect them all, trade them with your friends.
December 11th, 2012 at 1:51 pm
…another idiot to vote for you, Mr. Democrat!
December 11th, 2012 at 1:53 pm
…another day older, and deeper in debt.
December 11th, 2012 at 2:00 pm
A cookbook by Michelle Obama. (Your tax dollars at work for someone’s royalty checks….)
December 11th, 2012 at 2:00 pm
A free toaster and a gay wedding.
December 11th, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Double stamps on Wednesday (you have to be old enough to know what I am talking about).
December 11th, 2012 at 2:47 pm
…a lifetime supply of one-size-fits-all condoms.
December 11th, 2012 at 3:24 pm
…from Slick Willie’s Candy Factory, an Everlasting Jobstopper Gumdrop
December 11th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
…to wait while a hologram of Obamanikita bows to you and says thank you in the language of your choice when you check out.
…a 50-50 chance of having a home invasion robbery by local thugs or Michelle’s food police.
…a fork lift to get you back and forth from store to sofa.
…a two for one coupon on all mixed breed dogs not prepared in the deli section.
December 11th, 2012 at 3:46 pm
a form to sign, giving absolute power-of-attorneyover your life to the democrat party, forever.
December 11th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
. . . a card that reads:
“Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that using EBT cards is dangerous to the health of your descendants.”
December 11th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
A thank you card for your vote from Barry and your next ballot, already filled out with a postage paid envelope.
December 11th, 2012 at 7:40 pm
A 15% discount on all Seafood priced $8.99/lb or higher
December 11th, 2012 at 7:41 pm
a car previously owned by Lindsey Lohan.
December 11th, 2012 at 9:19 pm
“a digital photo printed on the card, which makes your EBT card an affordable photo ID suitable for showing at your local precinct when you want to vote.”
Oh wait. That makes sense. It’s probably racist.
Must.
Purge.
Racist.
Thoughts.
From.
Brain.
AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
December 11th, 2012 at 9:43 pm
Indigestion.
December 12th, 2012 at 3:23 am
…a bonus race card.
…a note from Nancy Pelosi thanking you for helping the economy by buying stuff with government money.
December 12th, 2012 at 6:06 am
… a free pass to blame the Republicans for not giving you more.
December 12th, 2012 at 7:26 pm
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