[High Praise! to Gunslinger's Journal]
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If the loudly self-proclaimed “progressives” were capable of fact-oriented research and rational analysis, they’d have admitted decades ago the combination of representative government, property and othe rights for all, and open economic markets invariably enables by far the greatest number of people to create and and most widely distribute the greatest quantities of material wealth and individual freedom.

Leftist governments have consistently delivered privation and poverty and even mass starvation for the many and wealth reserved for the very few, along with ideological censorship and prisons and murder, rigid social stratification, genocide and class-based mass murder, unvarying autocracy, and immeasurable human misery.

The insane stupidity of disarming law-abiding American citizens in the name of “public safety” is nowhere more blatantly obvious than in the most murderous, violent cities of Chicago, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C.

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[High Praise! to Gotta Get Drunk First]

Ironically, not available as a window cling.

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[High Praise! to DoublePlusUndead]

That door a criminal breaks down? Yeah, that was there to protect him from my Beretta.

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Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “After Trenton, NJ ran out of cash for its gun buyback program…”

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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[High Praise! to After Math]

[full size pic]

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[High Praise! to Mr. Conservative]

Letter From Veteran Harold Estes To Obama

More about Harold Estes here.

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Scientists say they’ve developed the ability to store music and books using human DNA. So… they’ve invented the librarian? #tcot

— Fred Thompson (@fredthompson) January 30, 2013

I refuse to allow women to be left defenseless to rapists b/c coastal lib metrosexuals are scared of guns & their defense duties as citizens

— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) January 30, 2013

Sometimes in the heat of passion I can no longer tell where I end and the burrito begins.

— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) January 30, 2013

I’m no sell out, but every man has a price. And my current price is “Any.”

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 30, 2013

Why is six afraid of seven?Because seven is a registered sex offender.

— anti joke apple (@antijokeapple) January 30, 2013

uh your baby isn’t going to get any exercise if you keep it in that stroller

— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 30, 2013

“You catch more flies with honey!” is Grandma for “Lying to people makes them easier to destroy.”

— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) January 30, 2013

Pretty cool of George McFly to hire the guy that tried to rape his wife to do chores for his daughter.

— Will Kane (@3rdand10) January 30, 2013

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4of7 [High Praise!] sent me a couple of his drawings. Good stuff – they’ll keep your brain busy for a while:

Click to enlarge:

If you look closely at the bottom picture, you’ll notice he included “IMAO” in the design near the top (and also upside down near the bottom, since the image is symmetrical).

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I received some really cool art made by reader and frequenter commenter 4of7. Here’s what I guess is his visualization of IMAO:

I really think he captured the eclectic insanity of the site.

And here is what sort of looks like an Angry Bird being fired out of a rail gun (which would be a better option than the stupid slingshot):

Pretty cool. And now IMAO is support the arts. I want a government grant.

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[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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Cats are murder machines. They kill billions of small animals a year. Is this news to anyone? Ever really stare deeply into one of their sociopathic expressions? They obviously think about nothing but murder all their waking hours. If a dog ever kills anything, that’s horrifying, but for a cat, that’s just a cat being a cat. As I’ve said before, dogs were domesticated and cats were just made smaller. If you had a cat the size of a pit bull, you’d basically have a monster people would run screaming from.

The only thing keeping cats from killing you is that they’re too small to do it. But that’s doesn’t mean they don’t fantasize about it every day. Never turn your back on a cat.

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Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After sending a monkey into space, Iran…

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Have you seen this economic contraction we’re having? It’s awesome! According to chief U.S. economist for Capital Economics Paul Ashworth, it’s “the best-looking contraction in U.S. GDP you’ll ever see.”

It’s weird then Obama isn’t taking credit for it. Instead, he’s saying it’s all because of the Republicans. While other presidents have had profound effects on our country, Obama, after four years, is still way too impotent too affect anything and thus everything bad is someone else’s fault. He’s just a useless little twerp — that’s his words, not mine. Might as well even stop paying attention to him at all.

Of course, Obama can do things, but he can only effectively do bad things. I was thinking of my analogy yesterday of comparing Obama to a toddler, and that’s a really good way of explaining his affect on the economy. Let’s say you’re at your desk ready to do some important work, but there’s also a toddler standing on the desk ready to knock away your papers and scribble over them with crayon or pour juice on your laptop. How much work are you going to try doing knowing that the toddler could ruin it at any moment?

And that’s the problem businesses face today. They don’t want to do much right now knowing that any second the stupid toddler Obama could ruin it with new Obamacare regulation or something (and Obamacare is basically the equivalent of a bunch of dumb toddlers scribbling on a bill with crayon). Businesses are going to wait to do a lot of work until that toddler is in the corner occupied on an iPad or something. I don’t know what the equivalent would be with Obama; I guess distracting him with his favorite thing in the whole wide world: skeet shooting. Businesses can start to get to work when Obama is occupied skeet shooting all day.

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[Source: Mike Lester - GoComics]

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My dad never did do a background check on me before he gave me some of his guns.

If every law abiding man and woman carried a gun, would reduce crime and there would be no mass shooting. The freedom, i.e. scary, solution.

Freedom is scary, but like many things, it’s worth pushing through the fear to pursue.

Not enough blame is placed on the people whose policies enable mass shooting by making one evil man with a gun so powerful.

You can’t give me rights or take them away. You can only get in my way when I exercise them.

Great idea from Iowahawk: Any checks that apply to gun ownership should also apply to being able to vote. If we wouldn’t trust someone with a gun, why in the world would we want that guy voting which could do even more harm?

Now that I’m going to have two kids, I feel like I should have a crest and a motto for my family name.

How many people have a family motto? I don’t see why that isn’t more popular.

Guns are a good test; if the idea of your fellow man carrying a gun is too horrible for you to contemplate, then liberty isn’t for you.

Oh yeah, I know my family motto: “Contunde Diem,” i.e., “pwn the day.”

Writing the exciting conclusion of my next novel and its hard to put down. I want to see how it ends!

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Star Spangled Spatula

If you’re not flipping your burgers with this, you’re a commie.

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[High Praise! to Very Demotivational]

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[High Praise! to Irritable Pundit]

Posted with my sincere apologies to crazy people with shopping carts for the demeaning comparison.

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Researchers say comparisons with ancient DNA suggests humans living 40,000 years ago are related to present-day people.

So… which DNA sample was Nancy Pelosi’s?

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Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “When Obama goes skeet shooting…”

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Send to Kindle