We need to really start thinking how we’re going to fix everything after Obama, so I once again am reminding you that I will be Constitutionally eligible to be president in 2016 (I will not release my birth certificate to prove this, though, as I don’t want it to be public knowledge that I was born in the People’s Republic of California).
So how am I going to turn things around? Here’s how: I’m not going to help you. It’s not the government’s job and certainly not mine as president. So I want to return to the idea that this is a free country — and part of liberty is that you are responsible for yourself. And to help with that, I want to bring back starving to death.
It’s hard to starve to death in this country. No matter how lazy you are, we will keep giving you food. No more. There will now finally be a cutoff. At some point if you continue to be lazy and a failure, we will no longer feed you. We will instead just watch you starve.
This is the only way to help a lot of people in this country: By not helping them. Starvation and its avoidance are great motivators to get people working and innovating, but we have removed starvation from much of America. If people think they can continue to subsist with no effort, then they will continue to give no effort. But I am going to insist on a least a little effort, or you die.
So next time people come for foodstamps, I will give the more compassionate thing: Nothing. Why? Because I believe in you. You’ll find a way not to starve. And if you don’t, as a representative of the federal government, I don’t care.
Frank J. 2016: Bringing back a government that doesn’t care.