Frank J. 2016: Let’s Bring Back Starving to Death

Posted on January 22, 2013 1:00 pm

We need to really start thinking how we’re going to fix everything after Obama, so I once again am reminding you that I will be Constitutionally eligible to be president in 2016 (I will not release my birth certificate to prove this, though, as I don’t want it to be public knowledge that I was born in the People’s Republic of California).

So how am I going to turn things around? Here’s how: I’m not going to help you. It’s not the government’s job and certainly not mine as president. So I want to return to the idea that this is a free country — and part of liberty is that you are responsible for yourself. And to help with that, I want to bring back starving to death.

It’s hard to starve to death in this country. No matter how lazy you are, we will keep giving you food. No more. There will now finally be a cutoff. At some point if you continue to be lazy and a failure, we will no longer feed you. We will instead just watch you starve.

This is the only way to help a lot of people in this country: By not helping them. Starvation and its avoidance are great motivators to get people working and innovating, but we have removed starvation from much of America. If people think they can continue to subsist with no effort, then they will continue to give no effort. But I am going to insist on a least a little effort, or you die.

So next time people come for foodstamps, I will give the more compassionate thing: Nothing. Why? Because I believe in you. You’ll find a way not to starve. And if you don’t, as a representative of the federal government, I don’t care.

Frank J. 2016: Bringing back a government that doesn’t care.

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22 Responses to “Frank J. 2016: Let’s Bring Back Starving to Death”

  1. blarg says:

    Come on, Frank. Get with the times! You can’t just let people starve – that’s just messed up. Mabe 50 years ago that was acceptable, but not anymore.

    You have to make a reality TV show about people starving.

  2. Silverfiddle says:

    While this is funny, it contains a lot of truth. The prospect of starvation can be a great motivator.

    Unlike the war on poverty, Frank J’s plan would actually reduce poverty by motivating people to help themselves.

  3. Carpenter says:

    Starving?
    yeah but how would that affect the quality of the extracted proteins from the deceased? I’m not sure that lean meats would be correct method here.

    Its just a matter of time before we will be a fully Soylent (as in Green) Society that adds all re-useable organic material to a Protein Bank. Wouldn’t it be better to use re-cycled proteins from “fattened humans” like they do with grain fed cattle?

    And you know that Obama, Holder, Pelosi and the Clinton’s are planning to re-cycle us and to feed use to our children and to the poor. They will do the same with proteins extracted from aborted fetuses. Its just a matter of time!

  4. AwesometificAmerican says:

    I suggest that we also extend this to Foreign policy as well. As Ambassador to the UN under a Frank J administration I will make sure this policy is implemented across the world.

  5. Writer says:

    Here is true Compassionate Conservatism at work.

    The adage of “. . . you don’t work, you don’t eat . . .” has not been taught in History Courses in this country for at least thirty years. I recall discussing this with my son when he was a youth. The Left’s rewriting of history has been well done since at least the Carter Administration.

  6. Jimmy says:

    In Russia, the government starves YOU!

    Wait. So, we’ll be more like Russia?

  7. DamnCat says:

    While I’m not in favor of starving to death I am even less favorable toward forcing one person to pay for the feeding of another.

    If someone wants to help starving people, and many do, then good on them – they’ll be rewarded in their next life or after-life.

    But if someone doesn’t want to help starving people they should not be punished for it in this life.

    Helping the starving is a moral duty – not a governmental duty. Being left alone from self-serving government do-gooders should be listed among or God-given rights as human beings.

  8. DamnCat says:

    ahem…”Being left alone from self-serving government do-gooders should be listed among or God-given rights as human beings and cats.

    fixed it myself

  9. Harvey says:

    @8 – Huh… never seen a cat use the word “fixed” without flinching before.

  10. CTCompromise says:

    “Starvation and its avoidance are great motivators to get people working and innovating..”

    …and emigrating. The Irish would not have come to America if the Irish Government had provided food during the potato famine. Therefore, if we allow people to starve, they will go somewhere else.(and take their cats with them) …’Works for me!

  11. Jimmy says:

    Most don’t know the difference between “immigrating” and “emigrating.” However, what I don’t understand is why does one have two “m’s” and the other only one?

  12. Ogrrre says:

    “Helping the starving is a moral duty…” Not necessarily. I would say helping those who cannot work, or who worked, but no longer can work is a moral duty. It is also your moral duty to work if you can. I believe in “If a man (or woman) does not want to work, neither let him (or her) eat.” There is a big difference between flaming lazy, and unable. When I was able to work, I did, and I even helped some who could not, or were also working, but having a rough patch. I never felt obligated to the lazy or the stupid or the incompetent, and resented like hell having money extorted from me by the government to “help” these people.
    I believe there to be three main reasons for there being poor people (at least in a normal economy): laziness, stupidity, and bad luck or misfortune. None of these groups are ENTITLED to assistance from any sort, and people who are in poverty because they are lazy or stupid do not even DESERVE help.

  13. Son of Bob says:

    There are a lot of inner city gang members that should starve to death. Instead, I’m paying for them to have a cell phone.

  14. NoMoBama says:

    The fat load leech next door to me would need a good 6 months to starve to death.

  15. CTCompromise says:

    “To emigrate is to leave your country to reside elsewhere.”

  16. Ernie Loco says:

    While I assume Frank is being a little over the top, I would wholeheartedly subscribe to his purported governing philosophy.

    Heck, I just wish some candidate for office would say this stuff, just to watch all the exploding heads among the left and the MSM (but I repeat myself).

  17. DontPlayRockyTop says:

    In a country where the greatest health risk faced by many poor people is morbid obesity, this is a heartwarming compassionate proposal. I’m all choked up.

  18. Hunter says:

    I think Frank’s got it right. I mean at some point there has to be a line drawn where we say “you know what, __(whatever it is someone wants subsidized)___ just isn’t worth taking money from our people at the point of a gun to pay for”.

    I’m thinking that a good starting point (but only a starting point) is if the answer to the question “Is the government purchasing goods and/or services with this money?” is NO… well, there’s really no point in belaboring the obvious by finishing this thought, is there?

  19. macko says:

    worked well at plymouth
    and.. libs like abortion because they feel that it potentially eliminates the neeed for them to have to feed nonproductive welfare types. Now we know that nobody can tell whether or not a baby will grow up to be a nonproductive welfare type so we tell the libs to let the babies grow up and then starve the nonproductive ones like poets and hippies.

  20. Jimmy says:

    Bring back starving to death?

    Sure, why not? But let’s add:

    * Walking the plank.
    * Jumping in the lake.
    * Shooting yourself in the foot.
    * Cutting-off your nose despite your face.

    All of those would apply to Congress.

  21. NoMoBama says:

    As long as we have that annoying *&%# from The Christian Childrens Fund, what’s a few million more mouths to feed?

  22. Uncle Kevvie, That's Who says:

    To alleviate ‘the energy crisis’ how about we put all the ‘potential starvers’ on hamster wheels and “tease the juice” out of them.
    Hang a well-done steak and baked potato in view and inch them along, toward same.
    What energy crisis? Now we’ll have a Heifer/Angus crisis………

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