I’ll Leave the Monty Python References to You Guys

Posted on January 28, 2013 8:00 pm

Despite horrible sales in 2012, General Motors Co. North America chief Mark Reuss said “the electric car is not dead.”

Maybe, but if it were a patient, an Obamacare panel would vote to pull the plug.

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27 Responses to “I’ll Leave the Monty Python References to You Guys”

  1. Harvey says:

    The fjords – the electric car is pining for them.

  2. Terry_Jim says:

    The Volt isn’t dead, but the only color it will come in is
    ‘Norweigan Blue’
    http://shirt.woot.com/derby/entry/12389/norwegian-blue-pining-for-the-fjords

  3. alexchris says:

    Death to the electric cars, give me a gas guzzler any day!!!

  4. Les says:

    Joined the car invisible.

  5. FredKey says:

    If we hadn’t nailed its tires down, it would have muscled up to the bars…

  6. Son of Bob says:

    People love the electric car…the same way they love plans to take away their guns, amnesty, open borders, gay marriage, etc.

    Liberalism is a mental disease.

  7. DamnCat says:

    “Well, it was coughing up blood last night.”

  8. Carpenter says:

    actually Cow flatulence is more damaging to the environment than emissions from automobiles. Serioiusly! Maybe they should focus on Electric Cows

  9. Les says:

    Do Chevy Volts dream of electric cows?

  10. seanmahair says:

    I was thinking something along the lines of Carinstein or Autacula. Especially after they put the bite on the American public.

  11. Basil says:

    Obamacare Death Panel: Here’s one.
    Bailout Czar: Here’s nine billion.
    Chevy Volt: I’m not dead.
    Bailout Czar: What?
    Obamacare Death Panel: Nothing.
    Chevy Volt: I’m not dead.
    Bailout Czar: ‘Ere, it says it’s not dead.
    Obamacare Death Panel: Yes it is.
    Chevy Volt: I’m not.
    Bailout Czar: It isn’t.
    Obamacare Death Panel: Well, it will be soon, it’s very ill.
    Chevy Volt: I’m getting better.
    Obamacare Death Panel: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
    Bailout Czar: Well, I can’t take it like that. It’s against regulations.
    Chevy Volt: I don’t want to go on the cart.
    Obamacare Death Panel: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
    Bailout Czar: I can’t take it.
    Chevy Volt: I feel fine.
    Obamacare Death Panel: Oh, do me a favor.
    Bailout Czar: I can’t.
    Obamacare Death Panel: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? It won’t be long.
    Bailout Czar: I promised I’d be at Chrysler. They’ve lost nine today.
    Obamacare Death Panel: Well, when’s your next round?
    Bailout Czar: Thursday.
    Chevy Volt: I think I’ll go for a walk.
    Obamacare Death Panel: You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Isn’t there anything you could do?
    Chevy Volt: I feel happy. I feel happy.
    *THWONK*
    Obamacare Death Panel: Ah, thank you very much.
    Bailout Czar: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
    Obamacare Death Panel: Right.

  12. Jimmy says:

    No, but it’s certainly on life support. I say, give it to Boeing!

    You can’t give it an enema. The thing doesn’t even have a tailpipe.

  13. Keln says:

    I’ll bite…

    Consumer: Hello there, I’d like to issue a complaint.

    Chevy Dealer: Sorry, we’re closin’ for lunch!

    Consumer: Never mind that my lad. I wish to complain about this Volt what I purchased not ‘alf an hour ago from this very dealership.

    Chevy Dealer: Ah yes, the Norwegian Blue one. What’s wrong with it?

    Consumer: I’ll tell you whats wrong with it my lad. It’s dead, that’s whats wrong with it.

    Chevy Dealer: No, no, eh, it’s resting.

    Consumer: Look matey, I know a dead car when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.

    Chevy Dealer: No, it’s not dead! It’s restin’!

    Consumer: Restin’?

    Chevy Dealer: Yes, restin! Remarkable car, the Volt, isn’t it? Beautiful paint job!

    Consumer: Alright then, if it’s restin’, I’ll start it up. “‘Ello Volt! Chevy Volt! I’ve a nice pint of oil for you if you wake up!” *Volt catches on fire…again*

    Chevy Dealer: There! It moved!

    Consumer: No it didn’t! That was merely the explosion of the battery that made it shake!

    Chevy Dealer: No it wasn’t!

    Consumer: ‘Ello Volt! ‘Ello ‘ello there Volt! Wake up! This is your alarm call!”

    Consumer: Now that is what I call a dead car.

    Chevy Dealer: No, it’s just stunned.

    Consumer: Stunned?

    Chevy Dealer: Yes, well, you probably startled it. It’s probably pining for the Fords.

    Consumer: Pinin’ for the Fords? What kind of talk is that? Look lad, it practically fell flat on its back when I got it home.

    Chevy Dealer: Look gov, it would have woken up by now if you hadn’t startled it and been off, VROOM!

    Consumer: VROOM? Look matey, this car wouldn’t VROOM if you put ten thousand volts through it! It’s bleedin’ demised!

    Chevy Dealer: No it’s not, it’s pinin’!

    Consumer: It isn’t pinin’. It’s passed on! This car is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late car! It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn’t put a 9 volt in it, it would be pushing up the daisies! Its electromechanical processes are of interest only to historians! It’s hopped the road! It’s shuffled off this mortal coil! It’s run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This…. is an EX-CAR!

    Chevy Dealer: Well then you should have gotten a Ford.

  14. CTCompromise says:

    “It’s not dead..It’s just resting”

  15. CTCompromise says:

    It wouldn’t VROOM if it had 10,000 pounds of dynomite in it.

  16. seanmahair says:

    My apologies to Monty and his Python:

    “It’s not dead it’s pining. Pining for the fjords.

    Look mate this car couldn’t ‘voom’ if you put four thousands volts through it. It’s bleeding demised. This car is no more! It’s ceased to be! it’s an late vehicle! It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in pieces! It’s metabolic processes are of interest only to junk yard traders! It’s hopped the lane! It’s shuffled off this mechanical coil. It’s run down the battery and joined the choir invisible! This is an ex-auto.

  17. Oppo says:

    Always look on the bribe side of life.

  18. NoMoBama says:

    It’s pushing up the daises

  19. Oppo says:

    I have one word for the electric car: “Albatross!”

  20. Oppo says:

    I came in here for an argument, not abuse….

    “in November 2010, the Renault-Nissan CEO Carlos Ghosn assured reporters that his auto alliance would sell half a million electric vehicles a year by the end of 2013.”*
    –No he didn’t.

    “In 2011, it sold just short of 10,000 electrics,”
    –Not at all.

    “but in April 2012 Ghosn still claimed that the 2012 sales would double to 20,000.”
    –He never!

    “On November 15, he had to give up and admit that, after selling less than 7,000 vehicles, the 2012 target cannot be reached.”
    –No, no, no, not a bit of it!

    “Chevrolet’s plan was to build 10,000 Volts in 2011, but actual sales that year were 7,671; in March 2012, poor sales forced the company to idle Volt production for five weeks. Sales then picked up and reached a record of 2,500 units in August (a strong month for all car sales), but by September 17 weak sales forced the company to shut down its Volt assembly plant in Detroit-Hamtramck for the second time in 2012 (for four weeks). After a strong October, the total for 2012 will surpass 20,000 vehicles — less than half of the targeted total of 45,000 cars set by GM and still only about 0.15 percent of the total estimated12.8 million vehicles sold in 2012.

    “And it is all rather expensive —”
    –No it isn’t.

    “. . . energy consultants estimate that GM’s costs for designing, tooling, and production (but excluding all marketing) are about $80,000 for a vehicle that sells, after a rebate of $7,500, for about $32,000. Costs per vehicle will fall as the production volume goes up, but GM may face years of losses before it starts making any money on a car that was to be a game-changer.”
    — It was a pun . ..

    “the high-end Fisker Karma has fared much worse. Consumer Reports found the $107,000 car, developed with a $529 million loan from the U.S. government and built in Finland, is full of design flaws and did not recommend its purchase. The car’s battery failed during the Consumer Reports test drive and Fisker subsequently replaced all of its 2012 Karma batteries. Then, on October 16, the manufacturer of the substandard lithium-ion battery used in the Karma, A123 Systems, (recipient of a U.S. federal grant worth $249 million in 2009) filed for bankruptcy.”
    –Splunge!

    [*Quotes are from: "Far from Electrifying: Electric car hopes never die — but electric realities keep intervening." -- The American | November 26, 2012 | Vaclav Smil ]

  21. rodney dill says:

    …it’s not dead, it’s only mostly dead… it just needs Miracle Tax… er Max…

    Pi iesu domine, (ZAP) donne ies requiem. (ZAP)

    (I’ve driven a Volt and I actually think they’re a pretty good car. I would consider one other than the cost needs to come down)

  22. rodney dill says:

    … I don’t beleef dey exist.

  23. Joel says:

    Rodney, that’s the problem: a lot of people won’t buy the car until the price comes down. The price won’t come down until a lot of people buy the car.

  24. CCO says:

    FYI, A123 may be bought by a Chinese firm or the government may block the sale.

  25. CCO says:

    Joel, that’s sort of like the F-22; if the government bought 1,000 of them (instead of 187), the cost per unit wouldn’t be too bad–”and nothing can stop the US Air Force!” And you can put 1,000 planes in more places (Okinawa and Alaska, for example) than 187.

  26. FredKey says:

    Stop this thread! Too silly! I thought this was going to be a nice little thread about teeth!

  27. CCO says:

    Guess not.

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