“Iranian space monkey launch unconfirmed.”


What do we mean we don’t know if the Iranians have launched a monkey into space? First Hillary Clinton is a useless lump on Benghazi, and now her State Department can’t even determine whether the Iranians are filling our orbit with monkeys or not? Fire her now and get someone competent there who can tell us whether we have to worry about Iranian space monkeys dropping out of the sky and attacking us.

And what kind of locks are on the International Space Station? Are they secure enough to keep out Iranian space monkeys? Who is on this? If need be, hire me and I’ll take care of this. First step, I’m nuking the moon. In case there are Iranian space monkeys there.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)


  1. It might even be worse. You have to expect shoddy workmanship from a country that makes houses in an earthquake zone out of loose bricks, random stones, and cinder blocks. Which means the monkeys will be exposed to the cosmic rays, just like the Red Ghost’s apes!

    Iranian Supermonkey Invasion might sound like a great video game–but when they attack, bro, it will be no laughing matter! Good thing we’re all clinging to our guns!


  2. Hillary Clinton: “What difference does it make if Iran is launching monkeys into space?”

    I have no doubt that NASA is funding the Iranian space monkey project in the interest of “moslem outreach.” It’s actually a precursor to the “Jooz in Spase!” operation – “when pushing jews into the ocean just isn’t good enough, look to the stars!”



Leave a Reply