Comments on: Let’s send a B-Ark

By: 4of7

4of7 — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 05:13:10 +0000

Tell them only the smartest, most caring, most articulate people will be allowed on board.
Their own egos will force them to claw their way to a spot in the ship.
It’d be the easiest scam since “The Emperors New Clothes”.
In a way, it’d be a reverse-rapture; the proud would be taken, the humble would remain.

By: RAML

RAML — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 01:56:23 +0000

Send the whole gov with them

By: TiminAL

TiminAL — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 00:43:05 +0000

Interesting how closely B-ark and B-rak are. Tell them they can get a free ride, free phones and a ride along with the Choomster to the new Earth 2.0 and they’ll likely line up for miles, or kilometers I suppose.

By: FredKey

FredKey — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 23:56:09 +0000

Fake story in the Times:

NASA Discovers Patchouli Planet
No hippie-punchers visible

By: Mr_Write

Mr_Write — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 21:56:49 +0000

We’ll definitely need a theme song for this. I suggest modifying one that is already popular with lefties with lyrics along these lines:

“Imagine no rightwingers
I wonder if you can
No need for guns or freedom
A brotherhood of man, woman, GLBT, etc.
Imagine all the people
Sharing B-Ark2″

By: nightfly

nightfly — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 20:43:47 +0000

Hey – we just discovered an Earth-like planet where nobody regulates anything and everyone is super-happy! They need your help to run their lives! All aboard!!!

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:38:52 +0000

It’s a cookbook!

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:33:36 +0000

We Eat The People

By: Crabby Old Bat

Crabby Old Bat — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:18:44 +0000

Free condoms, free abortions for those who don’t like to use condoms, all the choom they can smoke, and tell them it was Barry’s idea so that anyone who doesn’t want to go is RAAAACIST!!1!1

By: alexchris

alexchris — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:31:54 +0000

I am all for sending the libs to a new world, but let us not forget to include with them, all those useless politicians we have in D.C.

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:31:48 +0000

Well, one thing’s for sure: they’ll be aborting their babies along the way and probably eating them.

By: NO_MO_BAMA

NO_MO_BAMA — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:29:24 +0000

…its average temperature is 872° F

Venal Warming!!!!

I bet before they got SUVs it was only like 871.5

By: Mecahawk

Mecahawk — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:56:10 +0000

I don’t understand the logic. Why do we have to send liberals to a “habitable” planet?

By: Hammy

Hammy — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:41:30 +0000

Remember the rest of the story Basil and allow the phone sanitizers to remain on Earth.

By: Vaktatunnen

Vaktatunnen — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:51:57 +0000

In space no one can hear you whine.

By: Chip

Chip — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:45:10 +0000

We could tell the Libs that the the SCOTUS ruled that the Constitution and Bill of Rights only apply to Earth leaving the new Earth, which we will call Earth 2.1, completely free of any limitation on Government. As such, Earth 2.1 is in dire need of a group of people who can tell each other what size soda is good for them and how much salt is healthy.

By: Matt Musson

Matt Musson — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:38:36 +0000

Ever wonder if that is how we got here to Earth?

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:38:25 +0000

Since it will take 40,000 years to get there, we'll give them a little, red, 'longevity pill' before they board that will put them in 'stasis' for the voyage. Of course, we don't tell them that the ship's initial trajectory is a collision path with the Sun.

By: FormerHostage

FormerHostage — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:37:14 +0000

We've discovered a planet at the edge of the galaxy populated by unicorns and a race of ~~aliens~~ undocumented inhabitants who's main cultural activity is to displense birth control, have gay sex, work for nothing as long as it's for the greater good and have not invented ~~black~~ powder of color.

By: Iowa Jim

Iowa Jim — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:29:18 +0000

Just think of a world without liberals, lawyers, salesmen, human resources weenies, professors of women’s studies . . . what a wonderful world it would be!!

By: Harvey

Harvey — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:18:10 +0000

Simple. We just tell them we’ve finally realized they were right about global warming and it’s time for immediate action.

They won’t be able to get their smug little faces on the ship fast enough.

By: James

James — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:14:05 +0000

How about “Only the B-Ark will be free of guns and religion”