I Don’t Have a Made Up Girlfriend

So I assume everyone has heard about the Notre Dame football player and the made up girlfriend. I’m afraid that’s going to increase suspicions about made up girlfriends everywhere. Luckily, I have nothing to worry about. As I’ve told you before, I had a t-shirt babe contest on my blog, and the winner, the hottest one of the contestants, ended up dating me and we totally hit it off and got married. And now we have a little daughter named Buttercup. What about that sounds made up? So I don’t know why anyone would doubt me on the story and keep asking for evidence which I keep telling you I’ll produce any day now.

Anyway, Harvey met her and can back me up on this. And Harvey is totally real too and the only reason you’ve never seen a picture of him is he’s a little camera shy.

I’m not on trial here! No further questions!

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  1. So, Harvey is real, but camera shy. And he met “her” – this so called “Sarah K” date person. Did she take a picture of him?

    And btw, “Buttercup” sounds like a virtual name. Or and e-name, or something.

    Sure. Frank. Sure. Check your medicine cabinet. You must be out of Goofacil.

  2. Oh dear; if you’re delusional, is your mental health provider (the person you have to see to get the medicine to stop being delusional) *allowed* to turn you in to the ATF, the FBI, the CDC, HHS, DeptAg, or other federal or state agencies, or is your mental health provider (perhaps including your pharmacist) *required* to turn your name (which I hope isn’t spelled close to mine) over to aforesaid?

    Oh, if you’re paranoid about this, your mental health provider may be required (under current laws and good practices) to have you locked up for 72 hours for observation to see if you have reason to be nervous or if you’re crazy and need to stay longer than 72 hours. Your revenge is that they may no be allowed to retire lest you shoot someone. (No joke, that’s pretty much how I read the outcome of a lawsuit when somebody’s doctor retired, and the guy walked down the street with an M-1 rifle (a semi-automatic, please note) shooting people.)

  3. There is something a little fishy. The only person here I ever get an email from is Harvey. Frank J. emailed me once and it was a form letter signed with an autopen that referred to me as “Keln Lastname” and “Mr/Mrs Lastname”.

  4. Yah sure. The pix you’ve posted of the “alleged” Buttercup were too cute to be a REAL baby. I’ll bet you’re still in your parent’s basement, downloading pictures of Sarah Michelle Geller…

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