Oh How I Wish This Were Satire

Posted on January 12, 2013 8:00 pm

[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

From the New York Times:
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Part of the appeal of heating buildings with body heat is the delicious simplicity of finding a new way to use old technology (just pipes, pumps and water). Hands down, it’s my favorite form of renewable energy.

What could be cozier than keeping friends and strangers warm? Or knowing that by walking briskly or mousing around the shops, you’re stoking a furnace to heat someone’s chilly kitchen?

How about the reciprocity of a whole society, everyone keeping each other warm?

Widening their vision to embrace neighborhoods, engineers from Jernhusen, the [Swedish] state-owned railroad station developer, are hoping to find a way to capture excess body heat on a scale large enough to warm homes and office buildings in a perpetual cycle of mutual generosity. Heat generated by people at home at night would be piped to office buildings first thing in the morning, and then heat shed in the offices during the day would flow to the residences in the late afternoon. Nature is full of life-giving cycles; why not add this human one?
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Or… or… we could just plug people into a giant computer simulation while we harvest the electricity from their bodies!

Anyway, I’ll point out the obvious flaw in this ditz’s plan:

Liberals. Hate. Pipelines.

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14 Responses to “Oh How I Wish This Were Satire”

  1. 4of7 says:

    How will they recycle the heat rising from peoples bodies without also passing along the odors?

  2. Grand Larsen E. says:

    While they’re at it, why don’t they harness the warmth from the steaming pile of sh!t that is the NYT?

  3. Zeke says:

    C’mon, Harvey, this idea isn’t so bad. Body heat is just floating around. What’s more conservative than using a resource instead of letting it go to waste?

  4. Terry_Jim says:

    As soon as they make body heat a practical source,
    the enviro nazis will realize that the human heat sources emit
    the deadly greenhouse gases- CO2 and water vapor,
    and have them systematically shut down…

  5. Terry_Jim says:

    Whales are huge mammals, let’s use them as heat sources!

  6. zzyzx says:

    I like that idea, burn a whale…save a planet.

  7. Harvey says:

    Body heat = huddled masses.

    You know… the ones the Statue of Liberty invited here so they wouldn’t have to huddle for warmth in their craphole 3rd-world countries anymore?

  8. Choey says:

    This has to be either satire or blatant stupidity. Buildings are already heated by our body heat. In fact you can’t stop it from happening. Unfortunately we don’t really produce all that much heat. Try shutting off your furnace on a cold day and see how much your body heats your home.

  9. Harvey says:

    @8 – Like most fantastical leftist fantasies, this only has relevance in big cities where people are packed together like cattle. In more dispersed-population areas, the notion is positively insipid.

    All in all, though, it fails as a concept for the same reason as liberal promises to make government “more efficient” by “eliminating waste”. To eliminate waste, there is a cost to impose a system to accomplish that task, whose price may or may not outweigh the savings.

    When liberals make such crazy promises, the assumption is ALWAYS that waste-elimination can be done for free. Which is never true.

    Proof that they are insane.

  10. FredKey says:

    Why does this strike me as the premise for the worst Seth Macfarlane movie ever?

  11. blarg says:

    I wonder if they have any designs involving collecting flatulence from pigs…

  12. Bill says:

    Don’t the greenies complain about cow farts causing global warming.let’s pipe it to their houses. That way I can eat tasty beef and their houses can stay warm and smelly.

  13. NoMoBama says:

    Hey geniuses, people already heat buildings as stated above, which is why when you calculate the heat GAIN for the A I R C O N D I T I O N I N G, you include the number of people normally in the space and in large spaces, that’s a lot.
    1 person passive = 150 watts = .04 ton = 512 btu, aprox: every 23.44 people in a space means an additional 12,000 btus in air conditioning
    1 person active = 250 watts = .07 ton = 850 btu, aprox: every 14.1 people = 12,000 btu (1 ton)

    So all that ‘effort’ to use body heat in the winter, you lose in the cost to remove that heat in the summer. A/C is far less efficient than heat.

    Good old fashioned light bulbs also warm your house in the winter so guess what you liberal idiots, using CFL bulbs means you burn MORE gas/oil, therefore increasing GLOBAL WARMING!!!!!

    1 KW (20 50 watt bulbs)= 3413 btu that your furnace doesn’t have to produce. Until the government says you can’t buy them.

    Conclusion: liberals are stupid.

  14. 4of7 says:

    “Our house was too cold so I brought in these goats and pigs to help raise the temperature!”
    “What about the smell?”
    ‘They’ll just have to get used to it!”

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