Random Thoughts: Star Trek + Star Wars

Posted on January 25, 2013 9:30 am

You can’t have the Star Trek guy doing the Star Wars movie. That’s just… I can’t explain why but it is very wrong.

One person can’t run both Star Trek and Star Wars franchises. The government needs to come in break up that nerd monopoly.

So the eternal question: a star destroyer versus the Enterprise – who wins?

Buttercup and her green “kitty” she loves.

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31 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Star Trek + Star Wars”

  1. Just Some Guy says:

    The Enterprise hold significantly more protagonists than any Star Destroyer, so the Enterprise wins easily.

    Unless you evacuated all the main characters and just left the red shirts. Then my money’s on the Star Destroyer.

  2. DamnCat says:

    Whatever you do, don’t try giving that kitty a bath!

  3. John S says:

    A star destroyer has no shields… just beam a photon torpedo onto its bridge and watch with amusement as they try to disarm it.

  4. newshutz says:

    No contest, Star Trek has warp speed weapons, shields and transporters.

    More interesting question, Shadows vs Enterprise? (Not Vorlons, hyperspace jump gives too much warning and probably is disruptable with some kind of multi-phasic technobabel)

  5. rodney dill says:

    The Enterprise actual navigates, manuveurs, and fires while in warp drive, Star Wars ships only ‘jump’ without any apparent hyperspace agility. The Enterprise is a far superior design.

  6. rodney dill says:

    …and Star Trek can retain the legal services of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt to sue the crap outta Star Wars.

  7. Basil says:

    The Star Destroyer wins. Heck, have you forgotten that Reverend Jim from Taxi blew up the Enterprise?

  8. hwuu says:

    look like Buttercup goes for the bad boys.

    Death Stars and Star destroyers are the past, The enterprise is the future. They would never meet up. Ok theoretically if Kirk can go back in time and save the whales, he can go back in time to fight the empire. My money is on the Empire in that situation. Dark side of the force plus tech beats tech alone.

    But Star trek dilemmas are not usually solved by tech. Usually the are solved by being lucky and clever, to allow for snarky comments about whatever strawman issues are being raised. The empire is not lucky or clever, the death star is the prime evidence of that. That thing is the Washington Generals of Space weapons.

    Then again the enterprise gets destroyed about 3/4 of the time in the movies so it is plausible that the empire might get a chance to cause some drama.

    Of course Kirk could just give Darth Vader a tribble.

  9. CiDhed says:

    Even the NX-01 is superior in technology to anything Star Wars has to offer.

    Hell, a little ship like the Defiant could take on a whole fleet from Star Wars.

  10. FormerHostage says:

    Honor Harrington could kick all their arses!

  11. rodney dill says:

    The premise being Enterprise against Star Destroyer, as stated, and the Enterprise wins.
    Add a Jedi Master or Sith lord on the Star Destroyer and that changes the mix.

  12. Jimmy says:

    If Buttercup gets any cuter, you’ll have to stop posting pictures of her.

  13. John S says:

    The Enterprise will never be build, the USSA still will be paying interest on Obama administration debt. Maybe we should be arguing about stone versus bronze tools?

  14. blastit says:

    in order to have an apples to apples comparison, you cant be considering the D ver of enterprise. original or A version and then you’d have an apples to apples concept. in which case…

    I dunno, we were never much treated to the extent of a star destroyer’s capabilities. But the death star’s weapons seem to be vastly more powerful than anything the federation ever dreamed of.

  15. DamnCat says:

    @blastit – yes but Death Stars are as easy to kill as womp rats on Tatooine.

  16. nabqrules says:

    What would happen if one launched a genesis torpedo at the death star?

  17. Ernie Loco says:

    Who thought it would be a good idea to give a young child a gremlin doll? Better question, who thought it would be a good idea to market a line of oversized, plush gremlin dolls?

  18. Son of Bob says:

    “Buttercup and her green “kitty” she loves.”

    No buttercup!! Don’t feed the kitty after midnight!!

  19. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Buttercup and her green “kitty” she loves.

    Let’s see – deep gouges on my knee from when the cat fell asleep and started to slide off, then desperately tried to stop the fall; scratches on my shoulder from when the two kittens used me as a launch pad for reaching higher furniture during their game of chase; scratches on my belly, chest and arms from when one of the kitties climbed me like a tree to say hello; bite marks on my toes ’cause I moved ‘em under the blanket and hey, that looked like prey to a no-longer-sleepy kitty – yep, that’s a kitty she’s holding, all right.

  20. Andrew Felsher says:

    The Star Destroyer wins for two reasons:

    1) A Star Destroyer would never have to fight the Enterprise, because if you consider a Star Destroyer to be a fighter jet, then the Enterprise would have roughly the speed of a snail. Imperial ships such as Star Destroyers are known to be able to cross the galaxy in – at most – a couple of months. The Enterprise would require generations at their fastest speeds.

    Side note: Star Destroyers do have shields.

    2) Star Destroyers are vastly superior in terms of sheer power output, among other characteristics. It has been scientifically calculated that only one or two turbolaser blasts would be necessary to destroy a Enterprise-like ship, shields or no. Heck, it wouldn’t even take a Star Destroyer. Even an Acclamator troop transport (the kind-of Star Destroyer-looking ships in the prequels) or the Slave I (the Fetts’ ship) would be a David vs Goliath scenario.

    On the flip side, the Enterprise’s phasers or torpedoes would be about as effective against a Star Destroyer as a tree against an AT-ST… okay, bad example, but you get the idea.

  21. CiDhed says:

    @blastit, The death star would never be able to hit a Star Trek ship, targeting and charging takes forever. All they would have to do is use the Picard Maneuver to avoid it and beam a photon torpedo into it. The Genesis Device is just as powerful as the Death Star if not more powerful.

    I still say the Defiant could take on every ship in the Star Wars universe at the same time by itself.

  22. RealityCheck says:

    Star Trek loses, hard. Canonically the Enterprise— the flagship of the fleet— has less than one percent firepower of Boba Fett’s Slave 1. And that’s whether you go by the information in the books, ( http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2012/09/03/technological-superiority-star-wars-vs-star-trek-infographic/ for the stats.) or do a rough calculation based on what’s shown in the movies (Slave 1 blew up asteroids; the Enterprise couldn’t even move one out of its path.) The raw power disparity— number of ships, size, firepower, shield power, etc. makes it a complete curb stomp.

    (And yes, they use “turbolasers” instead of phasers. One: whether lasers or particle beams or Make-Shit-Upitons, 64,000 gigawatts is 64,000 gigawatts. Two: Both canons still call long guns “rifles” despite not having rifled barrels on their weaponry. Again, names mean little, gigawatts mean everything.)

    And finally, the Star Wars franchise isn’t made up of french socialist pacifist wussies.

  23. Jimmy says:

    Star Wars needs to stay in movie theaters, far, far away.

    Talk about S T U P I D.

  24. Ernie Loco says:

    And finally, the Star Wars franchise isn’t made up of french socialist pacifist wussies.

    This, FTW!

  25. Andrew Felsher says:

    Everything RealityCheck said is spot-on, although he’s being rather generous in saying “64,000 gigawatts is 64,000 gigawatts.” Typically, the numbers involved when talking about the shields and weapons of the Empire are far larger. Slave I is remarkable only for its uniqueness and perhaps the fact that it is privately owned and operated. It is utterly unremarkable in terms of firepower when compared to Star Destroyers and Mon Cal cruisers.

    300 million gigawatts is 300 million gigawatts. And that’s assuming the Enterprise is lucky enough to go up against some of the lighter ships in the Old Republic‘s military.

  26. Andrew Felsher says:

    @CiDhed. You may be right about targeting with the Death Star, but it doesn’t matter. Why use a trash compactor to crack a walnut when you have a perfectly good sledgehammer sitting right there? The weapons Acclamator transports (far inferior to Star Destroyers) can yield roughly 80 million times the energy of the Enterprise’s.

  27. Keln says:

    The ball-looking things on an imperial star destroyer are shield generators. They most certainly have shields. They are also 1.6 KM long…that is roughly a mile long. The Enterprise “E” is only 600 meters long…tiny in comparison.

    If you look at the (albeit fictitious) technical specifications of Imperial ships and those of Star Fleet ships, the difference is monstrous. Just by numbers alone, only a diehard trekkie would think the Enterprise would win in this scenario. But then, the Star Wars universe is tens of thousands of years old, whereas Star Fleet is only a few centuries of space warfare. So it’s like comparing a Roman trireme to a modern day warship. The level of technology isn’t even in the same realm.

  28. 4of7 says:

    Are there any women on star destroyers?
    If so, Kirk just have to give them ‘one of those looks’ and they’ll be throwing monkey wrenches into the main computer core for his sake before the 3rd commercial break.

  29. Harvey says:

    @28 – “Are there any women on star destroyers?”

    No.

    The Empire isn’t stupid enough to use women in combat.

  30. Oppo says:

    1. Worlds are colliding. If Independent Star Wars meets Star Trek Star Wars, Jerry, it will kill Independent Start Wars!

    2. Positing an interaction between Star Trek and Star Wars makes hard-core geeks SF geeks resemble that robot from ‘Lost In Space’ with smoke coming out of its head, going “Does not compute . . . Does not compute.”

    3. Was the question of who would win, The Thing or The Hulk, ever resolved?

  31. teh dude says:

    NERDS!!!

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