Santa Claus Conquers the Martians II

It’s S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S
Hooray for Santy Claus!

Kimar, the children are acting strangely again.

Yes, Momar, I noticed that. It reminds me of that situation years ago when we brought Santa Claus to Mars. Dropo has done an excellent job as the Martian Santa Claus. Whatever could the problem be?

I don’t know, Kimar. It can’t be Christmas. That was just a few weeks ago. Perhaps we should simply ask the children.

Bomar? Gimar? I have a question for you.

. . .

Children! I have a question!

Yes, Father.

Why are you just sitting around doing nothing? We give you an education. We offer you plenty of opportunities. Plus you have a childhood filled with no worries and lots of fun. Is this not enough?

We want stuff.

But, we give you everything you need: food, shelter, love, education, opportunity…

I want an Obamaphone.

And I want free contraception.

I want to live in your basement until I’m 26.

And food stamps. Lots and lots of food stamps for all my children.

All your children? But what about the free contraception?



We see the TV from Earth. We want everything Obama promises. And if you won’t give it to us, you’re a racist! That’s what the TV says.

I told you we should have subscribed to Fox News!

Children, this is totally unacceptable. You have to learn to be independent and to fend for yourselves. If we simply gave you…


What will you do, Kimar?

What I should have done a long time ago.

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  1. Everyone might want to take a trek over to ListVerse. They’ve got a new article 10 Reasons Why Communism Sucks. It’s apparently in response to one a month or so ago by another writer Why Capitalism Sucks. Of course, leftist idiots are overrunning the comments explaining why none of this really applies because we haven’t really seen Communism implemented, and besides, any problems Commie governments have experienced are really the fault of the e-e-e-evil capitalist U.S.

    Jump on over, enjoy the article, (rhetorically) smack a few leftist hippies around. You can find me in the discussion, by the way, as Shawn Smith.


  2. Jeez, when a Martian kid wants to stay in the basement until he’s 26, that means his folks will be stuck with him for about 49 Earth years. Then again, those slugs in Mom’s basement now probably don’t have any plans to actually get out at 26 either.


  3. Kimar, the King of Mars (as established in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) is responding to Earth’s beaming of TV images and speeches of Obama to Mars (and children succumbing to him) by sending a fleet to destroy the Earth (those devices were established as Martian war machines in War of the Worlds).

    In his place, what would you do?


  4. I think DamnCat may be right. While it lacks the connection to Mars, it’s unambiguous about what’s being destroyed, and Obama does seem to be the bad guy through most of the piece, and thus a better symbolic target.


  5. If I were to destroy that one building, how would I know I had succeeded? I would also have to destroy all the golf courses and Hollywood fundraising venues. No, silly humans, only a complete annihilation of your planet would be sufficient.



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