Since Piers Morgan Likes to See Things Amended

Posted on January 2, 2013 8:00 am

[High Praise! to Laughing Conservative]

Piers Morgan has recently suggested the Bible needs to be amended to allow for gay marriage. LC responds:

Laughing Conservative is proposing an amendment to the appearance of Lord Smugly of Conceit, a.k.a. Piers Morgan, who thinks it’s OK, while one is a guest in another country, to be thoroughly rude to one’s hosts. Our proposed amendment to the loathsome windbag’s appearance is simple: it would involve a nightclub bouncer, a fist and simpering Smugly’s nose.

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11 Responses to “Since Piers Morgan Likes to See Things Amended”

  1. JAGernaut says:

    The first vision that popped into my head was the bouncer holding Morgan’s arms and smacking him with his own fists while repeating “Stop hitting yourself!”

    How about we just amend his legal residency documents?

    First we stamp them “deport immediately,” then add him to the “no fly” list once he’s gone.

  2. chip says:

    The nice Mr Morgan is a bit of dilemma….

    He is very simply an enemy of this country and is trying to destroy it from within its borders. Since he is not a citizen we can’t execute him immediately (darnit!) so he should be sent back to whatever country threw him out in the first place.

    But!

    He is very easy to hold up as the ‘bad example.’ You can tell your children that if they don’t eat their vegetables they will grow up just like him. You can frighten your children by telling them if they don’t read their history they will grow up and be a right royal douche hated by all. He can be the one our mothers warned us about.

  3. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Morgan, the poster-boy for toffey-nosed sods within and without the UK, clearly is ignorant about matters biblical. Perhaps tossing aside his negligible C of E indoctrination, or proudly swanning about with his atheist’s flag unfurled…either way, one cannot “amend” the Word of God in order to become more politically correct.

    Sorry Piers, sorry Harvey.

    The Infinite Mind does not consult with minds which are finite in their capability to apprehend.

    The Infinite Mind didn’t consult with Moses…um, Mose, whaddaya think about 14 commandments? Think it should be pared down to ten? No, He told Moses what the laws were. Period.

    Piers seems to want to presume upon God’s turf. That is a no-no. Big time.

    Wouldn’t want to get into a cab or walk down the street with the guy any time soon.

  4. Harvey says:

    @4 – Bunker, no need to apologize to me. I *like* the Bible as-written. It’s helped a lot of people, and I also appreciate the quotable, near-poetic style of the King James Version.

    Wouldn’t amend it for the world. Heck, I don’t even like the changes they made for the New International Version.

  5. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    I *like* the Bible as-written. It’s helped a lot of people

    Yet, as a self-declared atheist, you disdain or deny the Ultimate Author of it while having dipped into its history for inspiration for some prior snarks.

    Kinda like being that guy at the party who has no problem helping himself to three or four slices of just-delivered pizza and a couple of long-necks without feeling the need to kick in a sawbuck or two, knowing full well that the other folks at the bash aren’t the types to call him out on his actions. Just letting they guy plant himself in the Lazy Boy as he, smirkingly, noshes the slices and knocks back the beer. Maybe even letting him comandeer the remote and switch from the Pats to the Giants, ’cause they’re nice that way.

    Perhaps that’s the problem…Atheism….it’s so akin to Liberalism: denial of Truth in the face of overwhelming evidence, wanting the privileges without paying the dues-or just presuming upon the payment of the debt by another with neither acknowledgement nor gratitude expressed.

  6. 4of7 says:

    As someone else here once pointed out, a-theist means ‘without God’ but not anti-theist which would mean ‘against God’.
    Harvey is one of nature’s gentlemen – an atheist, not an a$$hole, and he can help himself to as much pizza and beer as he likes as far as I’m concerned – metaphorically speaking.
    (We won’t run out – Jesus had a way with loaves, fishes and wine; pizza and beer? not a problem.)

  7. Harvey says:

    4of7 – Thank you for the kind words.

  8. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    @#6:

    Nobody’s slamming down the lid of the pizza box or beer cooler here…Christians are a generous lot…and, as you’ve said, and has been taught to us who believe, Jesus has paid the tab and there’s more than enough for everybody. And always, since the Miracle of the Wedding Feast at Cana, top-quality offerings.

    Quoting meself: Atheism….it’s so akin to Liberalism: denial of Truth in the face of overwhelming evidence, wanting the privileges without paying the dues-or just presuming upon the payment of the debt by another with neither acknowledgement nor gratitude expressed.

    A-theism is a denial of God, and, by extension, His Son. (The Son who’s picking up the tab, remember?)

    No belief in God, nor Jesus in his role as the Son, no need to acknowledge or say “thanks”. (Just reach a paw into the box, grab a slice, and chow down.)

    Harvey is one of nature’s gentlemen…

    That’s as may be, and he may smile warmly and, minding his manners, say “excuse me” as he makes his reaches (and Harvey’s turning of the cheeks during this not-quite-seventy-times-seven philosophical pelting may underscore this…that, or being damned by silence)…but there’s still the denial of the Creator of the very nature which brought forth said gentleman.

    The Creator who sent His Son. The Son who paid the tab.

    A-theism. Without God. Nature’s Uncaused First Cause.

    Ite, Missa Est.

  9. 4of7 says:

    You’re welcome, Harvey.
    (I’m glad to have you on the inside pi$$ing out, rather on the outside pi$$ing in!)

  10. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    @ #9:

    I’m glad to have you on the inside pi$$ing out, rather on the outside pi$$ing in!

    Who’s saying he’s on the inside? Lots of biblical references is some of his last posts…now either he’s inclined towards an acceptance of God and his constructs, or he isn’t and the bible is just another easy source for cheap snarks and chuckles. At a minimum it’s insincerity, at most it’s being a hypocrite. Like drinking ginger ale from a Glenfiddich bottle and doing an inebriate’s panto.

    That’s wetting the tent from the outside, pal.

    What’s next, a post from Harvey talking about how he’s sporting payess and tefillin along with doing the thrice-daily daven to show he’s down with the struggle in Israel?

  11. 4of7 says:

    I was speaking as a conservative, not as a Christian.
    But speaking as a Christian, I guess that by this time Harvey has heard all the “Repent, or you’re gonna go to hell!” speeches he needs to hear.
    I’m working more on the “They will know you are my disciples by the love you have for one another.” angle.

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
    ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

    “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”
    ― C.S. Lewis

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