Straight Line of the Day: Asked Why Middle Class Taxes Went Up, Obama…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…

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  1. …. pulled out a silver thingy with a red penlight and flashed it in the reporter’s face, thus erasing his memory.

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  2. …. explained that his “balanced approach” meant balancing most of the weight on the middle, literally.

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  3. …looked straight into the camera, shook his finger and said, “I did not have sex with that woman”.

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  4. said, “It’s really going down adjusting for obfuscation and deception inherent to the system.”

    said, “It’s really going down adjusting for the Mayan apocalypse reversal of gravity thingy.”

    said, “I know… let’s stand you on your head… now its going down.”

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  5. winked at the reporter and said, “we cut taxes for 98% of the amerikan people. Taxes only went up for the rich”. The reporter changed the story to accept his explanation.

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  6. said “let me be perfectly clear, I did not raise taxes on the middle class. It was those evel Republicans in the House of Representatives and anyone that says otherwise is racist.”

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  7. “What? There’s a middle class left? According to my plan they should’ve been all lower class by now… it’s those meddling kids and dog’s fault.”

    said, “Malarky.”

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  8. Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…replied, “I said I would raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans, but I never said I would raise taxes on ONLY the wealthiest Americans.”

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  9. Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…stepped behind a curtain and a booming voice rang out: “Who dares question the Almighty Obama??”

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  10. Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…turned the question over to Biden, who just chuckled alot.

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  11. Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…explained that he was just trying to make them entitlement eligable sooner.

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  12. …said, “Taxes only look higher because I lowered the oceans so much”.

    …pointed to his Muslim outreach astronauts and asked the reporter if he knew how many RPGs it took to launch a terrorist into space.

    …sighed and explained that paper costs money and when our money is not worth the paper it’s printed on we have to get free paper from the middle class in the form of money so we can write us up some new tax hikes on the rich.

    …said, “Cuz people is ignorant and stupid and I don’t know no better”.

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  13. … said “it was does wascawwy wepubwicans, heheheheh”.

    …said that taxes on the middle class actually went down, and the chocolate ration went up!

    … pointed at the questioner and laughed for twenty minutes.

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  14. … said, “Because the seething, white-hot knot of twisted, unresolved resentment and anger at the core of my being stemming from my sense of abandonment and inadequacy causes me to lash out at anyone I perceive to be healthy, happy and well adjusted. Next question?”

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  15. …in his best Urkel voice said “Did I do that?”

    …asked if he could finish his waffle first.

    …said “I won the election, I can be flexible now!”

    …said “I altered the bargain. Pray I don’t alter it further.”

    …raised his middle finger up.

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  16. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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