Straight Line of the Day: Asked Why Middle Class Taxes Went Up, Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…
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January 8th, 2013 at 12:00 pm
blamed Bush
January 8th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
said…. “golf vacations are getting really expensive.”
January 8th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
….said he preferred a society that like himself, has no class.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
….said, “There’s a very good reason for that…. OH! look! Shiny!”
January 8th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
… replied “I told you i would have more flexibility after the election”.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
said its because he had the taxpayers on Double Secret Probation.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
…flipped the bird at the reporter.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…. pulled out a silver thingy with a red penlight and flashed it in the reporter’s face, thus erasing his memory.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
…. explained that his “balanced approach” meant balancing most of the weight on the middle, literally.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:18 pm
…looked straight into the camera, shook his finger and said, “I did not have sex with that woman”.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:19 pm
“Taxes must go up to offset the rise in green fees.”
January 8th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
To offset the drop in revenues caused by raising taxes on Wealthy Americans.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
…responded “I won”.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
…replied “I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it any further.”
January 8th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
…lied.
January 8th, 2013 at 12:38 pm
said, “All your tax base are belong to us.”
January 8th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
said, “RACIST!!!!”
January 8th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
said, “It’s really going down adjusting for obfuscation and deception inherent to the system.”
said, “It’s really going down adjusting for the Mayan apocalypse reversal of gravity thingy.”
said, “I know… let’s stand you on your head… now its going down.”
January 8th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
. . . said, “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for” and walked away.
January 8th, 2013 at 1:26 pm
said, “define ‘Middle’.”
January 8th, 2013 at 1:30 pm
said, “Who let Fox News in?”
January 8th, 2013 at 1:38 pm
…said “I’ll fix that in my 3rd term”
January 8th, 2013 at 1:38 pm
“Compared to my people in africa, you are ALL rich; pay up.”
January 8th, 2013 at 2:05 pm
cackled gleefully, threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared!
January 8th, 2013 at 2:21 pm
…said, “It’s only gone up for the middle class part of those terrible Rich White People.”
January 8th, 2013 at 2:48 pm
said “because I’m not in the middle class.”
January 8th, 2013 at 3:02 pm
winked at the reporter and said, “we cut taxes for 98% of the amerikan people. Taxes only went up for the rich”. The reporter changed the story to accept his explanation.
January 8th, 2013 at 3:04 pm
killing bin Laden was expensive.
January 8th, 2013 at 3:06 pm
said “let me be perfectly clear, I did not raise taxes on the middle class. It was those evel Republicans in the House of Representatives and anyone that says otherwise is racist.”
January 8th, 2013 at 3:11 pm
“What? There’s a middle class left? According to my plan they should’ve been all lower class by now… it’s those meddling kids and dog’s fault.”
said, “Malarky.”
January 8th, 2013 at 4:10 pm
Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…replied, “I said I would raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans, but I never said I would raise taxes on ONLY the wealthiest Americans.”
January 8th, 2013 at 4:21 pm
Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…stepped behind a curtain and a booming voice rang out: “Who dares question the Almighty Obama??”
January 8th, 2013 at 4:25 pm
said, “up is the new down.”
January 8th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…turned the question over to Biden, who just chuckled alot.
January 8th, 2013 at 4:47 pm
Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama…explained that he was just trying to make them entitlement eligable sooner.
January 8th, 2013 at 5:56 pm
…I do not answer questions during my interviews that were not pre-approved.
January 8th, 2013 at 6:13 pm
Said “Shut up and eat your gruel! And your taxes still aren’t high enough!”
January 8th, 2013 at 6:30 pm
Asked why middle class taxes went up, Obama said “it’s communism, stupid!”
January 8th, 2013 at 8:02 pm
…said, “Taxes only look higher because I lowered the oceans so much”.
…pointed to his Muslim outreach astronauts and asked the reporter if he knew how many RPGs it took to launch a terrorist into space.
…sighed and explained that paper costs money and when our money is not worth the paper it’s printed on we have to get free paper from the middle class in the form of money so we can write us up some new tax hikes on the rich.
…said, “Cuz people is ignorant and stupid and I don’t know no better”.
January 8th, 2013 at 9:17 pm
LIED
January 8th, 2013 at 10:36 pm
laughed maniacally
January 9th, 2013 at 12:28 am
… said “it was does wascawwy wepubwicans, heheheheh”.
…said that taxes on the middle class actually went down, and the chocolate ration went up!
… pointed at the questioner and laughed for twenty minutes.
January 9th, 2013 at 2:19 am
… said, “Because the seething, white-hot knot of twisted, unresolved resentment and anger at the core of my being stemming from my sense of abandonment and inadequacy causes me to lash out at anyone I perceive to be healthy, happy and well adjusted. Next question?”
January 9th, 2013 at 2:55 am
…in his best Urkel voice said “Did I do that?”
…asked if he could finish his waffle first.
…said “I won the election, I can be flexible now!”
…said “I altered the bargain. Pray I don’t alter it further.”
…raised his middle finger up.
January 9th, 2013 at 6:10 am
said, “I’ve upped the taxes for the rich, so now up yours.”
January 9th, 2013 at 2:25 pm
…took credit, because if ROMNEY had been elected, taxes would have gone up even MORE!
January 9th, 2013 at 6:07 pm
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