Straight Line of the Day: At His Inauguration, Instead of a Bible, Obama Will Put His Hand…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
At his inauguration, instead of a Bible, Obama will put his hand…
Send to Kindle
(No Ratings Yet)
January 14th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
on a ‘Dumb and Dumber’ DVD.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…on you wallet.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
(one of these days I’m gonna start proof reading my comments)
January 14th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
…a binder full of women (…that weren’t acceptable for his inner circle)
January 14th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
A CD copy of the Koran…. attendees will have a copy burned for them…
January 14th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
At the risk of sounding like I’m ripping off Apostic….
…in your pocket.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
bacon.
@Apostic – nothing quite kickstarts your internal spellchecker quite like hitting the ‘Submit Comment’ button.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
…on his crotch while saying “I got yer fiscal responsibility right here!’
January 14th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
Anything he can overreach
January 14th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…on Joe Bidens steaming pile of malarky.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
How to Become God by Michael Faust
January 14th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
… on his putter, a virtual hand will take the oath of office.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
… the ruins of the American economy, which looks suspiciously like a golf club.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
on the heads of his enemies
January 14th, 2013 at 12:18 pm
On Michelle’s butt
January 14th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
…we don’t know yet… he’ll take the oath on it, THEN we’ll get to read it.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
At His Inauguration, Instead of a Bible, Obama Will Put His Hand…in a Wookie puppet.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
a copy of Clifford The Big Red Dog.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
At his inauguration, instead of a Bible, Obama will put his hand…straight through the Constitution of the United States of America.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:32 pm
At his inauguration, instead of a Bible, Obama will put his hand…on two Bibles, because all REAL liars say they “will swear on a stack of Bibles”.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:37 pm
At his inauguration, instead of a Bible, Obama will put his hand…behind him with his fingers crossed, so the oath doesn’t “count”.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:44 pm
… on a copy of Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals.
January 14th, 2013 at 12:44 pm
Boehner’s testicles
January 14th, 2013 at 12:58 pm
…the Quran
…either a copy of “The Audacity of Hope” or “Dreams of My Father”
…Chris Matthew’s knee giving him a real tingle down his leg
January 14th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
Behind his back with his fingers crossed.
January 14th, 2013 at 1:03 pm
…on George Soros’ package. His package of inauguration contributions. (seesh, you people!)
January 14th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
…on an icepack. You see, the Bible burns his hand when he touches it.
January 14th, 2013 at 1:29 pm
…in the air to see which way the wind is blowing.
January 14th, 2013 at 1:37 pm
…up his butt to scratch his nose.
January 14th, 2013 at 1:38 pm
on his forehead and say, “Wow, I coulda had a V-8.”
January 14th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
On the souls of the unborn dead.
January 14th, 2013 at 2:17 pm
…somewhere. We don’t know where that hand has been – or will go.
January 14th, 2013 at 2:25 pm
Wherever the teleprompter tells him to.
January 14th, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Up the country’s ass without a drop of KY.
January 14th, 2013 at 2:29 pm
well seeing how Obama is a “Divine Judgement” for America’s abandonment of GOD in favor of the Un-Biblical Humanistic Liberal-Commie-Homosexual Agenda, he just might go with the Bible! Why shouldn’t he?
Barack Hussein Obama is the literal Biblical fulfillment of Gods Wrath by Abandonment. He is the instrument of Providence. We (the people) have been given over to Moral Depravity and Perversion. God has lifted his protective Grace on America and Obama is the result.
Romans 1:24 NIV
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
January 14th, 2013 at 2:50 pm
One hand on the bible, one hand behind his back . . finger’s crossed.
There will be copies of any and all religious texts he can find, bible, quoran, torah, the works of Confucius, FSM doctrine, Alistair Crowley autobiography, a few fortune cookies . . . . all placed across, so nonoe coudl bee seen as superior.
January 14th, 2013 at 3:00 pm
…on my wallet
January 14th, 2013 at 3:05 pm
@CarolyntheMommy – that would be a neat trick, as I don’t think they exist
January 14th, 2013 at 3:06 pm
…on *a* bible, just the one written by Anton LeVey.
January 14th, 2013 at 3:14 pm
…on the back of the next one he’ll throw under the bus.
January 14th, 2013 at 3:21 pm
Well, Apostic and FormerHostage grabbed the easy win I was hoping for, so I’m going to say;
“…over the wrong side of his chest to cover his heart. With the wrong hand. Again.”
January 14th, 2013 at 3:27 pm
…in his pocket, and yours and mine and heck, he will even put one hand in Alanis Morrisette’s pocket while flicking a cigarette, and then he will put it on the phone when his Imam calls to see if he has permission to continue the Jihad.
…up to block the camera following Michelle around that’s filming the documentary “The Wookie Goes To Washington”.
…on a faded Obama poster and “swear to that guy to uphold or hold up the Constitution”.
…a copy of How to Make Friends and Influence People With Bus Wheels.
January 14th, 2013 at 3:33 pm
On a first edition “How to wok your dog” cookbook.
January 14th, 2013 at 4:01 pm
@can of spam: How would you know if your hand hasn’t gone there?
You are, of course, just speculating with the words “I don’t think they exist.”
They don’t – for a fact.
January 14th, 2013 at 4:08 pm
On a stack of checks from his supporters
January 14th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
on the button.
January 14th, 2013 at 5:51 pm
… up the skirt of some random intern. Oh wait, sorry, that’s what Bill Clinton will be doing.
January 14th, 2013 at 5:53 pm
… on a first edition of Marx’s Communist Manifesto.
January 14th, 2013 at 6:31 pm
…on Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. It is after all Obama’s bible.
January 14th, 2013 at 6:44 pm
On the only thing he truly believes in: Himself.
January 14th, 2013 at 8:51 pm
on the autopen on the golf course in Hawaii and then the autopen will put it’s “hand” on the bible in DC.
January 14th, 2013 at 10:34 pm
. . . on Sandra Fluke.
January 14th, 2013 at 10:35 pm
. . . on Biden’s head.
January 14th, 2013 at 10:37 pm
. . . on Mao’s “Little Red Book”.
January 15th, 2013 at 3:12 pm
… in the Hunger Games Reaping Jar…
“may the odds be ever in your favor…”
January 21st, 2013 at 6:40 pm
CTCompromise for the win! He did indeed use two Bibles.