Straight Line of the Day: Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around?
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
January 16th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
The second bout of it you get lasts the same as the first bout…. 4 years.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
… It sounds like you’re saying his name when you ralph into the toilet.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
I heard you can get it from eating dogs.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
It was brought in from another country, no one knows anything about it, and even though it was only supposed to affect the middle class it’s killing everyone.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
@Apostic – “BARRRACKKKK BARRRAUGHKKKK!”
Yep, that’s about right.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
Just when you think you’re feeling better you find your wallet’s missing.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
. . .It gives you ADD, Appalling Deficit Disorder.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
… Of course not, and the death panels will ensure that it stays that way.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
… It’s really hard on your constitution.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:23 pm
Once one catches it, it becomes hereditary, and it’s debilitating effects will be passed on for countless generations
January 16th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
…no, CNN, MSNBC, the major networks and the New York Times haven’t mentioned it.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…everyone is required to get it
…apparently, Romney gave it him because 10 years ago, Romney worked for a company that did some financing for Baskin Robins.
…symptoms include uncontrollable spending, irrational decision-making, delusions of grandeur, and a complete inability to comprehend founding documents of coutries.
…it’s racist
January 16th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
…it’s spread by the “D” button in voting booths
January 16th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
The vaccination for it gives you a Boehner.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
…that’s not a flu, that’s just slick marketing of Socialism going viral
January 16th, 2013 at 12:33 pm
…and the Boehner lasts two years or until it’s cut off.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:36 pm
…according to Obamacare it’s defined as a flu, but in reality, it’s a cancer.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
It’s Bush’s fault.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
It was started by executive order.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
…it causes your taxes to go up, your savings to be devalued, your work hours and benefits to be cut back, and your guns to be confiscated.
…symptoms include frequent shrugging.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
I had an allergic reaction to the medicine “provided” by ObamaCare, and was forced to be “provided” with more. I then went home and paid my taxes worth 17 times more than the medicine would have cost me.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
It came from Kenya.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? Medical researchers immediately pegged it as a form of swine flu.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:47 pm
Its like a ObamaPhone, except instead of phone calls, you get a fever.
Its like ObamaCare, except…actually its identical to ObamaCare.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? It apparently causes Baby Boomers to feel guilty, black people to feel suckered, Chris Matthews to feel a thrill up his leg, and the rest of us to feel pretty much bent over.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? The CDC advises to treat it with plenty of rest and chicken poodle soup.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
The treatment for it is “take two aspirin and
call me in the morningdrop dead.”January 16th, 2013 at 12:54 pm
Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? Researchers tracked its start at the White House and its spread through GM and Chrysler, and then to China. It apparently won’t die out until the Chinese are all wealthy as hell.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? It causes blindness in journalists.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Symptoms include short-term memory loss, inability to fill out tax forms and a Carter-like malaise.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
…you lose the ability to understand math, especially large numbers.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
@PeteSF, #9 Bacon ~~~~~ to you.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? The Republicans had the vaccine, but they blew their chance to innoculate us from it.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Funny, I haven’t heard a word about it in the media. Hmm.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
Bacon to PeteSF!
… The cure may be hard to swallow – but you’ll be thankful for it when you and your wallet are healthy again.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
It’s very taxing.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:27 pm
It’s caused 3 or 4 generations of missed work.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:29 pm
No I haven’t, all the people flooding the emergency rooms claiming to have it don’t speak English.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:51 pm
It only affects !% of the population.
The CDC is calling it the “Plague of Color.”
It comes on strong, wipes you out, and leaves you weaker.
January 16th, 2013 at 2:29 pm
Put the lime in the coconut, drink the bowl down, call me in the morning
January 16th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
PeteSF #9 for the win. Close second to Manolo #29. Much bacon to both. ~~~~~~~
January 16th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
…it’s caused by the Humanity Deficiency Virus.
…if Obama does not make you throw up you are sick as hell.
…the cure for it can’t be amended because when you catch it you get to administer the shot.
January 16th, 2013 at 2:39 pm
…the only prescription is fewer assault weapons, not more cowbell.
January 16th, 2013 at 2:56 pm
Americans appear to have no immunity to it – a genetic trait linked clear back to a similar flu called “FDR flu” in the 1930′s when many capitalists died.
January 16th, 2013 at 3:01 pm
….the government is researching a free cure, funded with your tax dollars.
January 16th, 2013 at 3:51 pm
Yes, indeedy I have. In fact, we’ve all had it for while now, and it got so common, we all thought ‘that’
was ‘feeling normal’. But we’ve got “Doctor Barry” to make it bearable and so, here’s hoping we’ll all feel much ‘betterer’ in the morning , on January 21, 2017.
Scuuuze me now, I got to go ‘Smile’ really loudly……..Look,…macaroni……
January 16th, 2013 at 5:11 pm
Mongo like bacon.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:12 pm
It restricts your rights “for the good of the people”.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:13 pm
It comes free with your Obamacare package.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:17 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It gives you cramps. so you keep bowing all the time.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Doctors prescribe fresh air and 18 holes of golf to cure it.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:19 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It started in Kenya, spread to Indonesia and Hawaii, and somehow ended up in Washington D.C.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:22 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It causes people on entitlements to have hallucinations that this country is being run well.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:23 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It causes people to take 3 days off from work..then a week..then a month..then a year…….
January 16th, 2013 at 5:28 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Doctors prescribe a Barry..Ummm enema to anyone who complains about it, with the simple instruction to shove it up your Republican Donkey.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:31 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Scientists are working on a vaccine, but sadly it is about 4 years away.
January 16th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Instead of ringing in the ears- it makes you hear “mandates” that are not there.
January 17th, 2013 at 7:52 pm
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