Straight Line of the Day: Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve Party…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…
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January 2nd, 2013 at 12:02 pm
“Pie jesu domine, dona eis requiem” (THWHACK)…. I guess Boehner had been invited.
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…”and a taxing New Year to all!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:04 pm
“GERONIMO!!!!!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:10 pm
“No. Seriously. It’s my resolution. No more dogs.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:12 pm
… and then we will blame the resulting recession on the fiscal cliff.
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:13 pm
Za zdarOvye, Comrades!
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:14 pm
It’s Bush’s fault.
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…during the game of charades… “Let the Wookie win.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 12:48 pm
“Sir, please! That’s not bait; that’s the First Lady’s gagh.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 2:04 pm
“I wonder what the 99% are doing tonight…….not!
January 2nd, 2013 at 2:24 pm
…you know Joe, either that fiscal cliff is bigger than I thought or Michelle’s butt grew two more sizes since Christmas.
January 2nd, 2013 at 3:00 pm
Is it any wonder that Hillary has a blood clot in her head after all they are caused by stagnant blood flow?
January 2nd, 2013 at 3:04 pm
“One more drink people and then I have to get my clubs ready for Kapalua on Wednesday.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 3:55 pm
“Damn it, somebody get that bucket off Joe’s head!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:01 pm
…hmmmmmm, why does Obama always sound like he is asking a question when he says Allahu Akbar? Oh noes, now I’m doing it.
…Dude! That’s Secretary Clinton, not a coffee table, no need to use a coaster for your drink.
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:32 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…”Here’s to the ball dropping, and the debt ceiling rising” !
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:34 pm
…hey there Kanye, yeah you’re still a jackass and now you’re a jackass with no pre-nup. Hmmm, is that beep beep beep coming from your woman or mine?
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…”None, Resolutions are things people who are not perfect need to make”.
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:41 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…”I’ve been running up the debt “cause I never thought we’d have to pay it back…I HATE those Mayans!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:43 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…”Who’s the chick with Bill Clinton?”
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:49 pm
…yo, Snoop-Dawg, try this righteous Maui Wowie choom, just flew it in on Air Force One!
…[chortling] hey Joe, how much ya bet I can get John Kerry to throw a clot before June?
…who knew Boehner was a Sub/Bottom…I just thought it was a guilty White thing when he started calling me “Master”.
January 2nd, 2013 at 4:51 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…” I don’t get it, I haven’t met one gal at this party named Eve. Where’s the guest of honor?” –Joe Biden
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:44 pm
“I hear Hillary has a blood clot near her brain.”
“Wow, You mean they found she has a brain?’
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:45 pm
Joe Biden yelling, “HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!!!!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:46 pm
“I think they used a Sticking charm on the portrait of Washington. We can’t get it off the wall no matter what we do. 10 points to Gryffindor for that one!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 6:47 pm
“Haahahahahahhahahahaahhahaha, oooooooooooooooooh it kills me: We told them it wasn’t a tax and they went for it! Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaa!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:21 pm
Isn’t there something we should be doing?
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…”It’s okay, Michelle. Harry’s watching the kids.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:43 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party… “C’mon, Mr. Speaker, dance like a monkey for us again!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party… “Can we borrow one of your magazines, Dick? The gang’s going out back at midnight to pop off a few rounds toward the children’s hospital.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:51 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…”The pizza you bring me after the State of the Union Address better be hot. You hear me, Congressman Ryan?”
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party… “I knew Boehner was getting ready to cave when I saw him put on a sixth Nicoderm patch while smoking two cigarettes and a pipe.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 7:57 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…”By the time the masses figure it out, we’ll be back in Hyde Park and my Wikipedia page will be locked down for good.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 9:03 pm
“Did you hear where Hillary’s blood clot was? Oh.My.God! It’s indecent!”
January 2nd, 2013 at 10:03 pm
“Um…Um…let me be clear…umm… Bushes fault…umm…Umm…tax rates…I…um.. u..um.um. umumumumumumumum.” “Aw crap, the teleprompter crashed again. Somebody go reboot it.”
January 2nd, 2013 at 10:05 pm
Overheard at the White House New Year’s Eve party…
… does anyone have any new ideas on how we can screw over those idiotic Christians next?
January 2nd, 2013 at 11:19 pm
… the old anthem of the U.S.S.R.
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:28 am
…”OK, I won the election, please tell me somebody sent word to Planned Parenthood to NOT abort the Baby New Year”
January 3rd, 2013 at 8:25 am
“Allahu Akbar!”
January 3rd, 2013 at 9:00 am
enjoy the party; it’s the last new year’s eve party ever; obama’s declaring an end to years.
January 3rd, 2013 at 1:30 pm
…( Biden to Michelle)…At the Christmas party last week, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:38 pm
…a rumbling sound, but those asshats weren’t listening.
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:23 pm
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