Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Will Pick His Next Defense Secretary Based On…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama will pick his next Defense Secretary based on…
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
January 9th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
their top “Space Invaders” score.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
…who Valerie Jerrett tells him to pick.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…the candidates commitment to make the military a gun free zone.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
… the names within the grid on the white house lawn. BO just ate, so we should know any minute now.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
…eenie, meenie, minee, moe…
January 9th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
their ability to stop RG III
January 9th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
…by Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
… his deep seated insecurities and a need to compensate.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
his hatred of those damn JOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!
January 9th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
…someone Congress doesn’t want the haggle with…. (rimshot)
January 9th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…by how much they hate Israel.
Oh, wait. This is supposed to be funny.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…who is the best at NCIS trivia.
January 9th, 2013 at 12:33 pm
…how much he is despised by fellow Republicans.
Oh. There I go again.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
… careful analysis of qualifications and consultation with foreign-policy experts interested in maintaining if-not improving USA’s security and influence in the world.
Sorry, I thought you asked what Frank J. would do.
… his earlier promise to have a cabinet the reflected the rich diversity of the people who elected him – or the old white guy, whatever.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
…someone Congress doesn’t want to haggle with…. (rimshot)
(corrected ‘the’ to ‘to’)
January 9th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
…he’ll flip a trillion dollar coin.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
His desire to defund it.
The willingness to use the Defense department against civilians.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
Their horoscope.
letting Michelle pick one out of a line-up
January 9th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
…his ability to ensure gay servicepersons of color have access to affordable healthcare and birthcontrol and that generals pay their fair share.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:34 pm
…nothing that could be described as common sense.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:37 pm
…by how photogenic they are in a tank helmet.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:37 pm
…by handing them an oar and seeing if they’ll whack a rabbit.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:38 pm
…ask them ‘What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?’
January 9th, 2013 at 1:50 pm
…who gives the funniest answer to the straight line “the real reason I hate Israel is…”
January 9th, 2013 at 1:51 pm
…the winner of the Electronic Battleship Tournament!
January 9th, 2013 at 1:55 pm
…their susceptablility to ailments such as flu, fainting, and blod clots, just in case something goes horribly wrong and they need to testify.
January 9th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
based on the number of strokes the caddy skimmed off the top.
Secretary of what? Fore!
his loyalty to marx
weather his name is mohmmed, hussein, or bob.
January 9th, 2013 at 2:15 pm
. . . on their ability to keep guns out of the hands of the
enemyuhmilitiauh citizens.January 9th, 2013 at 2:27 pm
…his or her commitment to defending muslims.
January 9th, 2013 at 3:00 pm
40% eveningwear
40% swimsuit
20% talent
January 9th, 2013 at 3:00 pm
…what the Magic 8-Ball says.
…who can down an 8-ball of Old E the fastest.
…reading the patterns in the Moochelles back hair.
January 9th, 2013 at 3:23 pm
whomever can distract the media from taxes, cliffs, O’care and Benghazi as long as possible..
I’m putting my money on Miss Alabama right now….
January 9th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
…his ability to keep Al Roker far away from him. And downwind.
…an understanding of the importance of retroactive bayonet disarmament, and preemptive capitulation in modern warfare.
…his dinner conversation with Antwann Z-Bug Jones, manufacturer of the all new single shot revolver hand gun, who hopes to do business with the Obama administration.
…Biden’s demand that we start using adults in our ground forces and just get rid of the infantry all together.
January 9th, 2013 at 3:51 pm
…his belief and her acceptance that protecting our borders from escaping taxpayers be the number one priority.
January 9th, 2013 at 4:54 pm
their ability reach out to the Moslem community.
He picked Chuck Hagel? See, I was right.
January 9th, 2013 at 5:04 pm
Two go in… One comes out.
January 9th, 2013 at 9:24 pm
…whomever is willing to continue the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
January 9th, 2013 at 11:28 pm
his or her ability to identify all the channels on both DISH and Directv
January 9th, 2013 at 11:30 pm
…gag reflex, access to rubber bands, and fluency in Klingon, but he wont say why
January 10th, 2013 at 12:28 am
“Can you handle responsibility?”
“You bet! At every job I’ve ever had, when something went wrong, they said I was responsible!”
January 10th, 2013 at 2:42 am
…how he or she will fit under the bus.
January 10th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
…whether or not it comes with Kung Fu Grip.
January 10th, 2013 at 3:54 pm
… Joe Biden’s new “Malarkey Meter”, the one with the lowest reading wins.
January 10th, 2013 at 8:32 pm
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