Straight Line of the Day: Scientists Have Discovered Evidence There Could Be Life on Mars…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Scientists have discovered evidence there could be life on Mars…

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  1. … Obama responded by saying “any chance it’s a new species of dog? Oh please let it be a new species of dog!”

    … Obama said “you didn’t discover that, someone else made that happen”

    … Whiny liberals immediately called for a ban

    … It is not immediately clear if these are assault-style high capacity life forms

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  2. …So Obama renamed it “the black planet” because everything black is good.

    …But NASA is taxed too much to prove it.

    …I thought that’s where Michelle is from.

    …Turns out they were mistaken when reading a history textbook that was talking about when the British reached the new world, called the “red planet”.

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  3. … Liberal activists are already registering them to vote
    … Imagine – an entire planet of lifeforms who have never heard of Karl Marx

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  4. . . . president Osama immediatelybut it remains unable to calculate and pay its taxes. President Osama immediately recommended it for the position of Secretary of the Treasury.

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  5. … And apparently, everyone speaks Arabic on Mars, so good call, Obama!

    … Unable to fund any more scientific research NASA turned SETI to search the Twitters for alien signals. By God they found them.

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  6. …*pop* and *pop* Planned Parent *pop* *pop* hood is building *pop* *pop* new facilities *pop* at a record rate *pop* *pop*.

    …and NASA is now pressuring it’s al Qaeda wing to give them time to convert before sending the first wave of suicide bombers.

    …prompting the US government to quickly determine any and all minorities that we can send checks to.

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  7. . . . however it is decidedly unintelligent. This was deciphered using the fact that it is incapable of passing a budget.

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  8. …which means sensitive actors (a la Marlon Brando) might have to refuse accepting Oscars because of the way Martians have been portrayed in movies.

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  9. …and they have communicated their desire to only talk/’get tight’ to/with Victoria’s Secret Models,
    Something about “We Like-’em” and “Where do they hang…? ”
    The P S emphatically demanded: “NO Hillarys or Princess Nancys”.

    Sounds pretty intelligent to me……….

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  10. …. and there’s some dude there in a helmet running around with a giant cannon pointed at Earth

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  11. You mean like the water/ice uncovered by our landers? The photographic evidence showing seasonal changes (vegetation)? Photos of surface water reflecting surrounding features. THAT discovered evidence?

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  12. Scientists have discovered evidence there could be life on Mars…by the little green guys dancing and singing to the 90’s ” go Nasa! Go Nasa! its your birthday!”

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  13. …while watching a tornado demolish a Martian trailer park. This prompted the snooty, arrogant, condescending spokesman to profess new hope to find intelligent life there.

    …when it was discovered that most of the Cash For Clunkers payments were sent there. The interstellar spaceships that we purchased were unfortunately lost in China on the way from DC to Detroit.

    …and are working to determine how many combined single cell organisms it might take to remove “getting a Martian Lewinsky” from Bill Clinton’s bucket list.

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  14. …although the total extermination of advanced lifeforms we had contact with so far has been blamed on a YouTube video by Hilary Clinton.

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  15. …they found a bunch of Obama bumper stickers. -But the search continues for intelligent life.

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  16. @58. Writer

    ….Ummm That isn’t why Obama is calling for a much bigger Rover–He likes leftovers when he raids the ‘fridge at midnight.

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  17. …by unleashing the awesome scientific power of the phrase “could be.”
    With their next trillion-dollar grant, they plan to investigate the theory that there could *not* be life on Mars.
    “This phrase, ‘could be,’ opens up a whole universe of possibilities,” said a scientist.
    “Given more funding, we’d like to investigate the potentials of the terms ‘may’ and ‘might be’.”

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