Straight Line of the Day: There’ll Be a New Warning Label Put on Guns…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
There’ll be a new warning label put on guns…
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January 18th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
…CAUTION: Danger of lead poisoning if wrong end is used.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Front Toward Enemy
January 18th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
WARNING: Keep out of sight. Sight of this device may cause convulsions and frothing of the mouth in liberals.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
Caution: Smoking Guns May be Hazardous to Those Who Would Deny Your Life and Liberty
January 18th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
“Removal of this tag violates federal law and is punishable by whatever Pelosi and Reid dream up”
January 18th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
WARNING: Do not ingest. This product contains small parts that could present a choking hazard to children. In addition, this product contains traces of lead, which is known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and reproductive harm.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
WARNING: Do not fire weapon if you are clinically insane or intent on acts of evil.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
“Use of this weapon in a gun-free zone is subject to 200$ fine”
January 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
In case of tyranny, 1. load 2. shoot. 3. repeat
January 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
“Use alternative federally-approved method if target is an unborn human”
January 18th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
WARNING:adding a firing pin to this instrument is a felony under federal law.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:32 pm
WARNING: Legal possession of this device is illegal.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:36 pm
“Intended for use only by those with two neurons to rub together”
“May cause liberals to show disdain/inability to understand U.S. Constitution”
“
January 18th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Warning: Not intended for use in place of car horn or finger.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
Shoot some game for a man and he’ll eat for a week.
Teach a man to shoot and he’ll be eaten alive by every law enforcement agency and government bureaucracy in existence.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
Caution: May cause holes.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:54 pm
WARNING: Keep out of the reach of children, journalists, liberals, commies and criminals. I know, those last four are a bit redundant.
January 18th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
WARNING: This device is effective against tyrants and the oppressive power exerted by governments. Keep out of their reach.
January 18th, 2013 at 1:03 pm
Warning: Not to be used in a gun free zone unless you are a criminal.
January 18th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
…Caution: Most of the pressure applied to the trigger may come from elected and non-elected officials and other outside forces.
…Do not fire unless you intend to point at a person.
…Ha! If you lived here you would be holding me.
…Warning PETA members!!! The first nine shots are not meant for the deer.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:08 pm
WARNING: New progressive weapons require that the barrel opening faces the user.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:12 pm
Badges? You don’t need no stinkin’ badges.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:21 pm
Not exactly a warning, but…
Smile, wait for flash – printed on the muzzle.
Or for semi-autos only, the PASS system.
In case of emergency, Pull back and release slide, Aim at center mass, Squeeze trigger, and Sweep side to side.
Type ABC for use with all type of criminals.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:31 pm
WARNING: The sight of this weapon may cause mass seizures in groups of liberals.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
WARNING: This gun is prevented by law from being harmful because Obama says so.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
… Gun may look really scary to ignorant liberals.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
… CAUTION: This gun may cause you to commit brutal acts of violence.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:35 pm
“Not only must this gun be registered with the United States of America, so must its bullets. Failure to do so is a capital offense.”
January 18th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
CAUTION: Goes BOOM
January 18th, 2013 at 2:37 pm
@Jimmy
…and a bullet trajectories must be pre-approved by the FAA.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
… CAUTION: Even thinking bout having more bullets in your magazine may cause a sudden formation of common sense.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:43 pm
…not to be used as a bong.
…in case of oppressive government, throw gun on ground and surrender. -Unless government is Republican, then sit on ground and protest.
January 18th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Not only THAT, Rodney Dill, your gun must have an FAA-approved transponder!
January 18th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Warning: Contains substance known to the States of California and New York to cause mental disease, rage, and mass murders
January 18th, 2013 at 3:28 pm
…Attention: If you have to turn your head sideways to read this tell the victim he shoulda stayed outta the ‘hood.
…Remember to pull the trigger if you are a liberal and believe this is a semi or fully automatic weapon.
…If you can read this Michael, make sure your other hand is empty.
…Property of US Govt. if you know what is truly good for you. And the children, don’t forget the children.
…If found in Mexico do not return to Eric Holder.
January 18th, 2013 at 3:39 pm
WARNING: Did I fire six shots or five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
January 18th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
WARNING: Boomy end towards bad guy.
January 18th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
WARNING: An armed society is a polite society. Now, would you like to rephrase that last remark?
January 18th, 2013 at 4:24 pm
WARNING: Liberals in crosshairs are more dangerous than they appear.
January 18th, 2013 at 5:15 pm
Gee, this sounds familiar…hmmmm
January 18th, 2013 at 5:36 pm
Warning: Guns have been proven to cause thousands of violent acts. Watch this gun closely and be aware that it may kill people completely on it’s own.
Be warned, many liberals and reporters find the very sight of this beautiful tool of liberty frightening: while they are cowering, and forming task forces, you can easily punch them.
Caution! A gun can be a dangerous tool in the wrong hands; like a pen to a liberal legislator.
NOTICE: When aimed at a person this gun will likely kill them. Have you tried reasonable discourse to settle your differences?
Notice: It is polite to inform intruders that you have a gun. Telling them it is “a twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington, made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger” is just bragging.
January 18th, 2013 at 6:54 pm
MOLON LAVE
alternate, I’ve seen pics of (I believe) a .45 where the barrel bushing is chrome, and is engraved with, above the barrel, “Smile.” and below the barrel, “Wait for flash.”
January 18th, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Warning: Liberals in sights may be more clueless than they appear.
Warning: Use of this weapon may constitute an act of liberty punishable by or give me death.
Warning: Shoot. Shovel. Shut up.
Warning: do not release hold on this weapon until fingers are cold AND dead.
January 18th, 2013 at 8:49 pm
ACTUAL FACT!!!
The last time I bought some 00Buckshot, the box was marked as being illegal for hunting because the Shells contained Lead.
When the proprietor pointed this out to me, I remarked that if I shot anything with it, they were unlikely to suffer from Lead Poisoning.
WARNING: It is illegal to shorten this barrel below fifteen inches. (Tsk Tsk)
January 19th, 2013 at 12:02 am
Warning: Keep away from childen and the government.
January 19th, 2013 at 4:24 pm
…Warning, new ObamaAmmo laws dictate that you be aware that the stick with the flag that has BANG! printed on it has been declared dangerous due to the possibility of poking out your eye.
…(Not award winningly obscure, but anyway…) Check trigger to determine if it is now free of Baby’s finger, if your name is Patti Smith.
…Watch your step, this is the watering can for the tree of liberty.
January 19th, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Warning: Bang-Stick bad.
January 19th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Caution: Remove all ammunition before lighting this Bong.
January 20th, 2013 at 10:01 am
WARNING: Knowing which end of this to point at the bad guy, along with the will do use it, may result in a feeling of personal security, desire to do good deeds, pride in the vision of America as seen by the founding fathers, adoration by all those you save, and an un-quenched thirst for liberty and justice. *this label requires a high capacity magazine in handguns to allow for printing on on side of firearm
January 21st, 2013 at 10:19 pm
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