Straight Line of the Day: There’ll Be a New Warning Label Put on Guns…

Posted on January 18, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

There’ll be a new warning label put on guns…

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50 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: There’ll Be a New Warning Label Put on Guns…”

  1. rodney dill says:

    …CAUTION: Danger of lead poisoning if wrong end is used.

  2. Apostic says:

    Front Toward Enemy

  3. rodney dill says:

    WARNING: Keep out of sight. Sight of this device may cause convulsions and frothing of the mouth in liberals.

  4. Apostic says:

    Caution: Smoking Guns May be Hazardous to Those Who Would Deny Your Life and Liberty

  5. tomg51 says:

    “Removal of this tag violates federal law and is punishable by whatever Pelosi and Reid dream up”

  6. Ernie Loco says:

    WARNING: Do not ingest. This product contains small parts that could present a choking hazard to children. In addition, this product contains traces of lead, which is known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and reproductive harm.

  7. FredKey says:

    WARNING: Do not fire weapon if you are clinically insane or intent on acts of evil.

  8. tomg51 says:

    “Use of this weapon in a gun-free zone is subject to 200$ fine”

  9. rodney dill says:

    In case of tyranny, 1. load 2. shoot. 3. repeat

  10. tomg51 says:

    “Use alternative federally-approved method if target is an unborn human”

  11. tanstaafl says:

    WARNING:adding a firing pin to this instrument is a felony under federal law.

  12. Son of Bob says:

    WARNING: Legal possession of this device is illegal.

  13. CarolyntheMommy says:

    “Intended for use only by those with two neurons to rub together”

    “May cause liberals to show disdain/inability to understand U.S. Constitution”

  14. rodney dill says:

    Warning: Not intended for use in place of car horn or finger.

  15. rodney dill says:

    Shoot some game for a man and he’ll eat for a week.
    Teach a man to shoot and he’ll be eaten alive by every law enforcement agency and government bureaucracy in existence.

  16. rodney dill says:

    Caution: May cause holes.

  17. Marc says:

    WARNING: Keep out of the reach of children, journalists, liberals, commies and criminals. I know, those last four are a bit redundant.

  18. Doug says:

    WARNING: This device is effective against tyrants and the oppressive power exerted by governments. Keep out of their reach.

  19. g says:

    Warning: Not to be used in a gun free zone unless you are a criminal.

  20. Dohtimes says:

    …Caution: Most of the pressure applied to the trigger may come from elected and non-elected officials and other outside forces.

    …Do not fire unless you intend to point at a person.

    …Ha! If you lived here you would be holding me.

    …Warning PETA members!!! The first nine shots are not meant for the deer.

  21. Sharky says:

    WARNING: New progressive weapons require that the barrel opening faces the user.

  22. rodney dill says:

    Badges? You don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

  23. 1911Man says:

    Not exactly a warning, but…

    Smile, wait for flash – printed on the muzzle.

    Or for semi-autos only, the PASS system.

    In case of emergency, Pull back and release slide, Aim at center mass, Squeeze trigger, and Sweep side to side.
    Type ABC for use with all type of criminals.

  24. gsmtiger says:

    WARNING: The sight of this weapon may cause mass seizures in groups of liberals.

  25. gsmtiger says:

    WARNING: This gun is prevented by law from being harmful because Obama says so.

  26. gsmtiger says:

    … Gun may look really scary to ignorant liberals.

  27. gsmtiger says:

    … CAUTION: This gun may cause you to commit brutal acts of violence.

  28. Jimmy says:

    “Not only must this gun be registered with the United States of America, so must its bullets. Failure to do so is a capital offense.”

  29. rodney dill says:


  30. rodney dill says:


    Not only must this gun be registered with the United States of America, so must its bullets.

    …and a bullet trajectories must be pre-approved by the FAA.

  31. gsmtiger says:

    … CAUTION: Even thinking bout having more bullets in your magazine may cause a sudden formation of common sense.

  32. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …not to be used as a bong.

    …in case of oppressive government, throw gun on ground and surrender. -Unless government is Republican, then sit on ground and protest.

  33. Jimmy says:

    Not only THAT, Rodney Dill, your gun must have an FAA-approved transponder!

  34. Tau Dades says:

    Warning: Contains substance known to the States of California and New York to cause mental disease, rage, and mass murders

  35. Dohtimes says:

    …Attention: If you have to turn your head sideways to read this tell the victim he shoulda stayed outta the ‘hood.

    …Remember to pull the trigger if you are a liberal and believe this is a semi or fully automatic weapon.

    …If you can read this Michael, make sure your other hand is empty.

    …Property of US Govt. if you know what is truly good for you. And the children, don’t forget the children.

    …If found in Mexico do not return to Eric Holder.

  36. FormerHostage says:

    WARNING: Did I fire six shots or five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

  37. FormerHostage says:

    WARNING: Boomy end towards bad guy.

  38. FormerHostage says:

    WARNING: An armed society is a polite society. Now, would you like to rephrase that last remark?

  39. Genghis Khen says:

    WARNING: Liberals in crosshairs are more dangerous than they appear.

  40. NoMoBama says:

    Gee, this sounds familiar…hmmmm

  41. Mrs. C says:

    Warning: Guns have been proven to cause thousands of violent acts. Watch this gun closely and be aware that it may kill people completely on it’s own.

    Be warned, many liberals and reporters find the very sight of this beautiful tool of liberty frightening: while they are cowering, and forming task forces, you can easily punch them.

    Caution! A gun can be a dangerous tool in the wrong hands; like a pen to a liberal legislator.

    NOTICE: When aimed at a person this gun will likely kill them. Have you tried reasonable discourse to settle your differences?

    Notice: It is polite to inform intruders that you have a gun. Telling them it is “a twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington, made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger” is just bragging.

  42. Dr_Mike says:


    alternate, I’ve seen pics of (I believe) a .45 where the barrel bushing is chrome, and is engraved with, above the barrel, “Smile.” and below the barrel, “Wait for flash.”

  43. RTN says:

    Warning: Liberals in sights may be more clueless than they appear.

    Warning: Use of this weapon may constitute an act of liberty punishable by or give me death.

    Warning: Shoot. Shovel. Shut up.

    Warning: do not release hold on this weapon until fingers are cold AND dead.

  44. Writer says:


    The last time I bought some 00Buckshot, the box was marked as being illegal for hunting because the Shells contained Lead.

    When the proprietor pointed this out to me, I remarked that if I shot anything with it, they were unlikely to suffer from Lead Poisoning.

    WARNING: It is illegal to shorten this barrel below fifteen inches. (Tsk Tsk)

  45. DamnCat says:

    Warning: Keep away from childen and the government.

  46. Dohtimes says:

    …Warning, new ObamaAmmo laws dictate that you be aware that the stick with the flag that has BANG! printed on it has been declared dangerous due to the possibility of poking out your eye.

    …(Not award winningly obscure, but anyway…) Check trigger to determine if it is now free of Baby’s finger, if your name is Patti Smith.

    …Watch your step, this is the watering can for the tree of liberty.

  47. Writer says:

    Warning: Bang-Stick bad.

  48. Writer says:

    Caution: Remove all ammunition before lighting this Bong.

  49. a guy named Rob says:

    WARNING: Knowing which end of this to point at the bad guy, along with the will do use it, may result in a feeling of personal security, desire to do good deeds, pride in the vision of America as seen by the founding fathers, adoration by all those you save, and an un-quenched thirst for liberty and justice. *this label requires a high capacity magazine in handguns to allow for printing on on side of firearm

  50. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “There will be a new warning label put on guns…” […]

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