Straight Line of the Day: When Obama Goes Skeet Shooting…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

When Obama goes skeet shooting

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  1. …instead of “Pull” he says, “First shalt thou cock the skeet, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then releaseest thou thy skeet.”

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  2. … he uses (green) Gummi Bear bullets because the shot in shotgun shells is harmful to the environment.

    —————-
    ASSESSMENT OF ECOLOGICAL RISK ASSOCIATED WITH
    LEAD SHOT AT TRAP, SKEET & SPORTING CLAYS RANGES
    Department of Environmental Protection


    In general lead shot released at “shotgun practice ranges” poses risks to fish and wildlife by three exposure pathways:

    1. Wildlife (mostly birds) may consume lead shot;

    2. Lead may make its way into the food chain by consumption of lead present in or on food items or via incidental ingestion of soil/dust by prey organisms; and

    3. Wildlife may be exposed to lead contamination via direct contact (e.g.,
    burrowing) and/or incidental ingestion of sediment, soil, or surface water
    contaminated with lead.

    Current research indicates that the ingestion of shot by birds is the most significant ecological risk posed by lead shot. Consumption of one lead shot pellet can be fatal (Buerger et al. 1986).

    Because lead shot consumption is a major ecological concern, it has been more thoroughly investigated than the other lead exposure routes mentioned above and is addressed in the greatest detail in this paper….

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  3. …he invites the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy along.

    …Barney Frank goes to a booby bar, Harry Reid does his job, a Clinton doesn’t lie, and Union teachers take a voluntary benefits cut for the children.

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  4. …no clay pidgeons are actually harmed during the event.

    …has only one hole drilled in his bucket, it improves his aim.

    …all the targets are on the right.

    …hands Joe a bunch of targets and says “Run these out there and hold one up for me.”

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  5. …he blames his failure on George Bush and a bunch of rednecks dressed in white skeets.

    …first thing he does is yell “SHOTGUN!!!” and jump into the front seat of the limo.

    …Michelle orders all the skeet out pumping gas to head over to the range.

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  6. …he can’t help but check his Blackberry while he and John Kerry crawl through the shrubs looking for skeet.

    …he blames his turnovers and pitiful shooting percentage on poorly bouncing skeet.

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  7. … he bows to the skeet, apologizes to it, renames the activity “kinetic recreation,” and accuses the Republicans of waging a war on skeet. Then, he uses taxpayer money to buy more “green” deftware dishes to replace common clay pigeons, as a “long-term investment in the future” of each skeet. Jeez I wish this weren’t parody!

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  8. …he does it like a real man, he retrieves his gun from behind the toilet in an Italian restaurant and then tells the skeet to say hello to his little friend.

    …he puts on his spurs one uhhhh spur at a time like anyone else.

    …with a Republican he brushes up on his Dick Cheney/Bobby Knight Gun Safety Course.

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  9. The current Bo gathers up those skeet lickety-split, and Michelle has a wonderful – and low fat – skeet stew she whips up. They’re firm believers in eating what you hunt.
    (I stole this from Lactose, btw. But he doesn’t mind 🙂

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  10. Set three clay pigeons on the ground and walked five whole feet away and still hit one and winged another. He had originally planned to shoot at more than three rounds but his wife got tired of having to drag him out from the bushes he hid behind after every shot because that mean ole shotgun makes such a scary noise and makes him cry.

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  11. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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