Straight Line of the Day: When Obama Goes Skeet Shooting…

Posted on January 29, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

When Obama goes skeet shooting

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68 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: When Obama Goes Skeet Shooting…”

  1. rodney dill says:

    even Dick Cheney runs for cover.

  2. rodney dill says:

    …his Secret Service protection have to shoot for him.

  3. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . he’s afraid that the skeet will shoot back.
    . . . Valerie Jarrett has to turn the Wii on first for him.

  4. rodney dill says:

    …he does it like he governs… always going off half cocked.

  5. rodney dill says:

    …he uses drones as skeet.

  6. Son of Bob says:

    …has now replaced the old saying “When pigs fly.”

  7. rodney dill says:

    When Obama goes skeet shooting…he says, “I go skeet shooting all the time.” which sounds a lot like Rush Limbaugh saying, “Some of my best friends are black.”

  8. DamnCat says:

    …the clay pidgeons are collected from and reused.

  9. rodney dill says:

    When Obama goes skeet shooting… Joe Biden keeps popping his head up from cover and says, “Neener neener.”

  10. DamnCat says:

    …the clay pidgeons are collected and reused.

    …Bo hides under the porch.

  11. DamnCat says:

    …Roger Ailes refuses the invitation to joins him.

  12. Apostic says:

    …it gets less messy than you’d expect.

  13. jw says:

    …the skeet have nothing to fear

  14. rodney dill says:

    …instead of “Pull” he says, “First shalt thou cock the skeet, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then releaseest thou thy skeet.”

  15. rodney dill says:

    …he goes to the situation room and watches SEAL Team 6 take out the skeet from there.

  16. Carpenter says:

    … he uses (green) Gummi Bear bullets because the shot in shotgun shells is harmful to the environment.

    —————-
    ASSESSMENT OF ECOLOGICAL RISK ASSOCIATED WITH
    LEAD SHOT AT TRAP, SKEET & SPORTING CLAYS RANGES
    Department of Environmental Protection


    In general lead shot released at “shotgun practice ranges” poses risks to fish and wildlife by three exposure pathways:

    1. Wildlife (mostly birds) may consume lead shot;

    2. Lead may make its way into the food chain by consumption of lead present in or on food items or via incidental ingestion of soil/dust by prey organisms; and

    3. Wildlife may be exposed to lead contamination via direct contact (e.g.,
    burrowing) and/or incidental ingestion of sediment, soil, or surface water
    contaminated with lead.

    Current research indicates that the ingestion of shot by birds is the most significant ecological risk posed by lead shot. Consumption of one lead shot pellet can be fatal (Buerger et al. 1986).

    Because lead shot consumption is a major ecological concern, it has been more thoroughly investigated than the other lead exposure routes mentioned above and is addressed in the greatest detail in this paper….

  17. Hippie punchomatic 5000 says:

    He uses only the latest in firearm technology offered by Nerf.

  18. storm1911 says:

    …..Obama first sets out skeet bait. Ya gotta attract the skeet to shoot it.

  19. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … the 12 year-olds he’s competing against with his X-box are totally impressed by his mad skills

  20. FormerHostage says:

    …he invites the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy along.

    …Barney Frank goes to a booby bar, Harry Reid does his job, a Clinton doesn’t lie, and Union teachers take a voluntary benefits cut for the children.

  21. FormerHostage says:

    …he ends up on a snipe hunt.

  22. FormerHostage says:

    …he shoots only union skeets.

  23. FormerHostage says:

    …he looks even sillier than he did wearing that bike helmet.

  24. rodney dill says:

    …he uses an executive order to establish a ‘skeet free’ zone, then declares there are no skeet to shoot.

  25. CCO says:

    He eats what he shoots.

  26. blarg says:

    …he first has to find a place to plug in the Nintendo

  27. rodney dill says:

    @CCO #25 – …well that explains why his foot is alway in his mouth…

  28. HokieGomer says:

    …no clay pidgeons are actually harmed during the event.

    …has only one hole drilled in his bucket, it improves his aim.

    …all the targets are on the right.

    …hands Joe a bunch of targets and says “Run these out there and hold one up for me.”

  29. tomg51 says:

    … he uses drones

  30. Dohtimes says:

    …he blames his failure on George Bush and a bunch of rednecks dressed in white skeets.

    …first thing he does is yell “SHOTGUN!!!” and jump into the front seat of the limo.

    …Michelle orders all the skeet out pumping gas to head over to the range.

  31. rodney dill says:

    When Obama Goes Skeet Shooting… he insists on being called Cleavon Little.

  32. Oppo says:

    … he yells “Poll!” and demolishes a straw man, just like always.

  33. Dohtimes says:

    …he can’t help but check his Blackberry while he and John Kerry crawl through the shrubs looking for skeet.

    …he blames his turnovers and pitiful shooting percentage on poorly bouncing skeet.

  34. Vaktatunnen says:

    …he makes sure all of Manti Te’o’s girlfriends are there to watch.

  35. g says:

    … he comforts himself by meditating on Mao: “Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.”

  36. Oppo says:

    … he bows to the skeet, apologizes to it, renames the activity “kinetic recreation,” and accuses the Republicans of waging a war on skeet. Then, he uses taxpayer money to buy more “green” deftware dishes to replace common clay pigeons, as a “long-term investment in the future” of each skeet. Jeez I wish this weren’t parody!

  37. Oppo says:

    (delftware)

  38. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    He shoots all the witnesses which explains why nobody has actually seen him do it.

  39. Manse says:

    Keeps missing because he’s not a straight shooter.

    Keeps missing because he doesn’t know how to lead.

  40. blarg says:

    he hopes to shoot better than the Special Olympics or something

  41. TheHat says:

    …his stream tears the toilet paper to shreds and then he flushes.

  42. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …he can always count on the mainstream media to downplay the innocent civilians he kills.

  43. Manse says:

    Keeps missing after reading “PULL” from the teleprompter.

    Was overheard saying “if I had a gun it would look like this.”

  44. rodney dill says:

    …the Secret Service detail only lets him carry one shell in his shirt breast pocket.

  45. John B says:

    No snipe is safe.

  46. Apostic says:

    ….he enjoys the music of Nick Rivers.

  47. kerrcarto says:

    No skeet get hurt

  48. rodney dill says:

    …he takes along Michelle as he possibly could hit the barn side of a broad.

  49. Dohtimes says:

    …he does it like a real man, he retrieves his gun from behind the toilet in an Italian restaurant and then tells the skeet to say hello to his little friend.

    …he puts on his spurs one uhhhh spur at a time like anyone else.

    …with a Republican he brushes up on his Dick Cheney/Bobby Knight Gun Safety Course.

  50. Anonymiss says:

    The current Bo gathers up those skeet lickety-split, and Michelle has a wonderful – and low fat – skeet stew she whips up. They’re firm believers in eating what you hunt.
    (I stole this from Lactose, btw. But he doesn’t mind :)

  51. GrandLarsenE says:

    he just points his thang at Michelle and yells “skeet! skeet! skeet!”

  52. CTCompromise says:

    ….he wears “mom” cammo.s

  53. Writer says:

    . . . OSHA regulations require everyone present to wear full bodt armor since the unfortunate accident in Februrary 2009.

  54. CTCompromise says:

    ….each clay pigeon is wrapped in the Constitution, to make them easier for him to aim at.

  55. Writer says:

    . . . the entire county is declared a “Hard Hat” area.

  56. Writer says:

    . . . Joe Biden throws the pigeons since downrange is the safest place to be.

  57. CTCompromise says:

    …he must be on one of those >many” vacations at Camp David.

  58. CTCompromise says:

    …..the clay pigeons are rigged to self desruct in 10 seconds.

  59. CTCompromise says:

    …..”What is, in his dreams?”

  60. Jimmy says:

    …we wonders why the skeet don’t run from him, so he kicks them first and then shoots them.

  61. seanmahair says:

    ……..he finds it hard to get the skeet into the needle. Oh yeah, I so did (finger snap).

  62. Walt says:

    He always takes plenty of journalists along as experienced skeet beaters.

  63. Writer says:

    He has yet to learn what one is.

  64. 1richard says:

    Hell freezes over….

  65. tanstaafl44 says:

    he uses a tennis racket

  66. Tin Man says:

    Set three clay pigeons on the ground and walked five whole feet away and still hit one and winged another. He had originally planned to shoot at more than three rounds but his wife got tired of having to drag him out from the bushes he hid behind after every shot because that mean ole shotgun makes such a scary noise and makes him cry.

  67. Dohtimes says:

    …the pigs flying outta my butt are more likely to get shot than anything he aims at.

  68. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    [...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “When Obama goes skeet shooting…” [...]

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